To think silence can be oppressive?

[TheTaupeMoose]

People always say “silence is golden” but I don’t agree. Sometimes, silence feels like avoidance. Like power. Like punishment. Whether it’s in relationships, families, workplaces, choosing not to speak can carry just as much weight as what is said.

AIBU to think that silence, especially when it’s intentional, can be just as controlling or damaging as words?

What are you going on about?

My house is silent at the moment.

It is just that… silent

nothing more nothing less

If you are referring to a partner giving you the silent treatment, then quite obviously that isn’t “golden”

Totally. Its a passive agressive behaviour. Creates physical stress and body reactions as if you were harmed badly. It has huge huge psychological and phisical impact on the person who receives silent treatment.
And there is no medicine for that.
If people a silent after argument- its ok, they need to cool off. But if they dont reengage witin 24h or ignore your bids for connection- than its a very harming behaviour called silent treatment.

"There was an oppressive silence in the car, and Emma wondered not for the first time how silence could vary so much in pitch and tone. This silence held a high-pitched scream at its heart."
Rachel Abbott, Stranger Child

This author agrees.

Anything can be oppressive when it's obviously being done with malice.

Of course. I got something yesterday (for someone else, who really needed it - a disability adjustment) by saying something and then leaving a really long silence. The person had already said 'computer says no' but dropped a compromise into the silence.

Silence can be incredibly effective. Or if used by someone malicious, incredibly punishing.

This.

If its the silent treatment then its toxic.