To think this isn’t what I signed up for?

[Radishandcabbage1824]

Name changed for this in case it’s outing. Also apologies in advance for the essay!
I was recently offered a job that is kind of in my field, but has a chance to gain skills and experience in a new area of it, and in a sector I am interested in breaking into. I work as a freelancer, and this was a part time role, so seemed a great chance to learn and expand my skills and knowledge. I applied and was offered the role, and almost straight away things started to be adjusted. When I applied and accepted the role, it was a fully remote position (having worked in a similar role for a number of years, I know that fully remote works, and this was a condition of me taking the job - I’d never have applied if it was office based as it just doesn’t suit me right now for various reasons). The day after I accepted, I was told the line manager had changed, the role had partially changed, and the role was now part in the office (three days), and one day at home. I wasn’t fussed about the role changes as these were minimal, but remote was non negotiable for me, and so I politely thanked them for the opportunity and said though I was disappointed, it would no longer be possible for me to accept, and they should offer to the next person on the list. I then moved on and started to consider other options.

I was then contacted by the new line manager the following day who told me it had been a mistake (even though I had the changes in an email), and the role was in fact now 100% remote. I did have some alarm bells at this point but pushed through and accepted based on my contract being updated to reflect this.

Fast forward a month and the pressure to go into the office is relentless. It started on my first week, where I was told to “come in and socialise and meet everyone” (I’ve used my initiative to contact and meet all
the key colleagues and stakeholders and found them all friendly and helpful), and this then moved to “we can’t train you unless you come into the office”, which is where we are now. I’ve whizzed through all the online training provided, and was basically ignored for the first two weeks - literally sitting at my laptop periodically messaging my manager for tasks, for them to reply hours later or not at all. They are now saying I need to come into the office in person to collect a resource (which is available digitally…)and they won’t give me anything to do until I come into the office. By this point it’s the principal of the matter - I accepted a remote role - and also the utter bizarreness - I’ve never worked anywhere like it! AIBU to cut my losses and quit on the grounds that this is not the job I signed up for? Thanks to anyone who made it this far!

I totally understand your wish/need for a 100% remote role, but honestly, when you’ve just joined a company I think it’s natural for them and you to have some in-person contact before you get into the swing of the job.
May I ask if your determination not to attend the office is a kind of ‘on principle’ (belligerence) thing, or if there are practicalities that stop you from going?

All the remote roles in professional jobs that I’ve ever seen have a 2-6 week orientation in the office before being remote. I’ve never seen a job where they just pay you to sit in your house without even going in to get sorted with everything. It is clear that your manager wants to show you a bunch of stuff to do with your job before letting you grt on with it. It seems like misconduct to ignore that and assume you know best when you even admit that you don’t have anything to do until you show up at the office to get more input. I’d be terminating your contract pretty sharpish if you genuinely expected to just get paid to sit in your house and do nothing all day. I really hope they have put a probation period in your contract so you can go and find a mug of an employer. Just go to work ffs!

@Radishandcabbage1824 am I write thinking your main grip is that they are frighteningly disorganised?

I can understand that concern. They've gone round the houses on whether or not it's remote and not given you any clear information about how training works

What you will or won't tolerate depends on how much you want or need the job.

It is crazy how disorganised places seem to be now. Is this public sector? If it's private sector, they are not a good advert for themselves.

Do you need a job? How easy will
it be to just find another one? I’m not hearing good things about the job market in general right now.
Personally I would hate having to work with someone I’d never even met.
I do think that going in to meet everyone in the first few weeks and making a bit of an effort to build some positive relationships is not a big ask. My initial response is that you’re being petty and should age just gone in and got it over with in the first place.

I work fully remote and not once had to go into the office. I've never met my manager and colleagues in person (except one who came to my wedding, which was the first time I have met her).

If they can do it remotely but are simply refusing to, it's their issue. Raise a grievance, and remind them that some people need to work remotely due to protected characteristics such as disability, so when they tell you a rope is 100% remote and hire you on that basis, they better take it seriously.

Even if you are not remote due to a protected characteristic, many are. Your employers should be careful playing silly buggers like this.

*gripe

Yeah, I kind of agree with the previous comments, OP. Having worked fully remote before I went there physically for a day or two's training and onboarding and would meet up with everyone quarterly.

100% remote worker here. I had an orientation for 2-3 days in the office when I first started at my request. They pay for travel and expenses as my working location is my home.

I generally try and go in every 8-10 weeks for 1-2 days. Just to keep in culturally and because it can be isolating working from home.

I think you are being deliberately awkward and it would put me off working with you. I can understand why you feel that they are muddled in their requirements but I think 4 days a week is very different to "come in every now and then and say hi".

FYI I also travel to the office in work time.

All negotiated in advance and in my contract.

Given the conversations prior to you accepting the role, if they wanted an in person induction they should have agreed that upfront. As @EmeraldRoulette said their disorganisation is the problem.

I fear it won't get any better and some how you'll be the unreasonable one if you don't attend the office!

I think your employer is the one being difficult here. They should have told you if they wanted you to come into the office, even just for training. I just don’t understand why some people believe you can’t connect or bond with your team unless you’re face to face. I’ve been working at my current job for almost a year now. It’s completely remote, and I didn’t actually meet my team or manager until six months later. I still get along great with everyone, in fact, I’d say one of my colleagues is a really close friend now, and we’ve only met in person once! You can definitely build relationships over Teams. Honestly, I think a lot of companies push for some in-office meetups just to justify the expenses of having an office. It’s not about team building at all.

If this situation isn’t working for you and you don’t really need the job, OP, then just walk away. They seem pretty disorganised anyway.

Even in remote roles you need to make the effort and go into the office if needed in the first weeks.

In IT it is very normal for a job to be fully remote and never have any visits to an office. I have colleagues throughout Europe, all working for an Irish company and none have ever been trained in person. They don’t even live close to each other. The company gave up 90% of its office space during Covid, so even if they wanted to go in, there is no space. So depending on a profession, fully remote can be totally normal.

I think it's pretty normal to be expected to go in for the first couple of weeks to meet people, do training, get to know the office etc - even in a fully remote role. But they should have made that clear to you before you took the job.

I work in recruitment and it's usual for new starters to go in to the office on their first day to collect tech and meet their Manager/team f2f at least once, even if they are going to be fully remote. Common courtesy if nothing else !

Thanks so much for all the responses - lots of good points and good for thought. Just to address a few of the points made; as a PP has mentioned, the industry I’m in is 99.9% fully remote, and has been since way before Covid/lockdown; this is actually the first place I’ve worked that actually have a physical office, so it’s very unusual! All equipment/tech etc is sent out by post, and all onboarding is done over Teams. I do love that someone said I want to be paid to just sit in my house 😂 I love my job which is why I want to work - part of the reason I’m struggling is that I have turned away some very interesting clients for this role and I have in the back of my mind that I could be working with them! The team in this new role (who are also remote), are also all super nice, and they all said to want to work with me so I can’t be that awful and entitled! 😂

I think the main things, as PP have said, is the moving the goalposts and being blatantly lied to. I’ve been badly burned by micromanagers before so it’s something I’m hyper aware of, and that’s how this feels - at no point in the application or recruitment process was the office even mentioned, then a new manager swoops in and suddenly it’s a requirement…just red flags for me! I guess different strokes for different folks!

Absolutely not BU! I've worked remotely for years and never had to go into the office for a single thing - my current company has people spread over about 10 countries and this is entirely normal for my industry, too. Definitely hold your ground or quit, but don't give into their office demands!

Were you interviewed in person?

I am 100% remote and have been since 2020 and I have never had to go into the office (barring once in 2021 to clear out the shit I left in my desk in 2020 before our office was sold! Even this was optional as I could have asked for my stuff to be binned / sent to charity shop etc) but new employees on 100% remote contracts are expected to go in for a few days to meet their team leaders / manager and to have some in person training. This is of course all set out in the interview process.

i would just wait til they fire you. Fuck em, you took a fully remote job.

with any luck you won’t get fired for ages as they’re so shit 😂