Being ignored!

[tryingtocarpediem]

Before I had a zoom call in my office I told dg that the dog will be back from a walk soon and don’t let him come in my office. Pop him in crate if needed. So, in the middle of my meeting he let the dog in who proceeded to dig the carpet on and off for the rest of the call and nose around my room and rubbish tucked in the corner. I find it really hard to focus with him digging away. I said to dh after why he did that as i asked him not to. He said he knew the dog would be fine and he just wanted to be with me. Anyway the point is that I asked, he agreed and then didn’t do it. Really peed me off. AIBU? This is standard behaviour that he generally does whatever the f* he wants. He then gets annoyed with me and doesn’t even apologise.

Lock your door and if it doesn’t have one, have one installed

Could you not have text your husband ‘come get the dog now’ whilst on a call? Or said on the call ‘sorry I just need 30 seconds to shut the dog away’? It feels like there’s several ways to manage this rather than the being a martyr and complaining after approach

if it’s a one off then fine no? Or is a repeated theme?

Yeah I’d be fuming

Couldn’t you have said, ‘give me one second’ and put the dog outside the office? I can’t think of many zoom calls where I couldn’t do that tbh.

youre right I probably should have done but still… when you specifically ask someone to do something you kind of think they’ll do it. Not the opposite of what you ask. I wouldn’t class that as an unreasonable request.

I would've interrupted the call for 2 seconds and put the dog outside the door.

Annoying for you though.

I think people are missing the OP’s point here massively. The thread isn’t about how to cope with a dog on a zoom call. It’s about the fact that she specifically asked dh to do something and he agreed then completely ignored it.
which, Op, you have my sympathy it would have driven me bonkers too. But, as people on here are demonstrating you’re made to look silly and petty for objecting. Is this a common pattern of behaviour? I’ve experienced a relationship like this in the past and it really drags you down after a while.

Quite. Totally missing the point!

Does he do this regularly @tryingtocarpediem? My H sometimes does the complete opposite of what he agreed to do and his usual response is that he forgot. Gives me the rage, so I feel your pain!

Glad @Rainbowcat77 got the point or you’d have been inundated with posts from people who believe being treated badly has to be accepted and navigated rather than refused. It’s not easy to tackle shitty behaviour in a relationship but working round it usually makes it worse.

He needs to be shown he cannot disrupt your job and a lock on the door will do that. A simple latch or bolt will do the job.

Is the zoom call related to something of which he’s unsupportive, OP? Don’t want to assume too much but it does have a whiff of sabotage . . .

That would infuriate me. You are working. You are on a call. You know that you don't want the dog int he room. but he thinks he knows better and that the dog's desire (???) to be with you overrules your preferred approach to a professional call.

And this isn't the only time?

Is it always about riding roughshod over your preferences because he thinks he knows better? or, as a PP said, is it about sabotage and doing it to make your life harder? Or is it because it makes HIS life easier and he doesn't care if that makes your life harder - a bit like men who, with a baby or toddler, will keep bringing them back to the mum because it's "too hard" to distract them when she's trying to work/sleep/bath etc.....

I'd be furious. And I'd think he's a total man child.

Has DH ever had a job?? He doesn't know how to follow instructions, or what could be considered disruptive or a bit unprofessional. I would be really annoyed, he didn't ignore you, he purposefully went against what you said