How good are you at compromising?

[MyAmusedOpalCrab]

I was thinking recently about how much of life - relationships, work, friendships, depends on our ability to compromise. But not everyone is good at it and honestly, sometimes I wonder if I’m as flexible as I think I am.

Some people seem to compromise so easily, while others dig their heels in over everything, even small things. And sometimes, the people who always compromise end up feeling resentful, while those who never budge seem to get their way.

How good are you really at compromising? Is it something you’ve had to work on? Or do you think it’s overrated and sticking to your principles matters more?

I’m rubbish at it. Am also ND which might contribute?

Am far happier single due to this.

Very, I think, but I'm in a position where it's very easy to compromise.

I'm very laid back generally, I have no really iron clad commitments that I can't move on, my family are generally also easy going so don't ask for many compromises, my job doesn't require any compromise at all, and the only thing I have to compromise on with my husband is whether or not the floor is an appropriate location for socks.

When someone keeps harping on about something, keeps dragging thinks out until you give in, thats not compromise its Control

Depends on what the issue is. There are some things that I would never compromise on.

Knowing that about yourself is half the battle honestly. I think being single can sometimes make life simpler in that sense too, you don’t have to constantly negotiate around someone else’s habits or expectations.

There are things I will be able and willing to compromise on and other things I am unmovable on. I am however never aggressive about it or rude, I just won't do some things and am happy to either miss out or do something by myself, people don't seem to understand that.

If someone is wanting YOU to change something; its control. They can set their boundaries but those boundaries are nothing to do with your actions - their boundaries are what they do, what they accept.

They can say "I won't tolerate cheating" - thats a boundary. (If they walk away when someone cheats.)

If they say "Cheat on me and I'll leave" - thats an ultimatum and its manipulation.

If they say "I want full access weekly to your phone to make sure you're not partaking any activity i would consider cheating," - thats controlling behavior.

Slight differences

So someone saying "We have to go to this vegan restaurant every time we meet up, because I'm vegan and I dont want to be in a restaurant where people eat meat"

Controlling behavior.

vs

Ah if youre going to the steakhouse ill give it a miss this time, catch you next time. (Boundary)

And I totally agree with this. I spent many years being accused of being “controlling” when I was simply trying to make a boundary around my own actions/life/choices.

I'm excellent at it. I always win.