Joys of small family Christmas

[Radiatelikethis]

I just wanted to put a post where those that have small families or have small Christmas's can post about the positives and happiness of them.

I'm aware that there will be loads of Christmas posts coming up and even yesterday on a thread about only children, someone posted "yikes small family Christmas"

What is wrong with a small family Christmas? There's a general theme on MN that if you don't have some huge, family Christmas with about 20 relatives minimum that your Christmas is something to be pitied, that you've failed in some way and your Christmas will be less special.

I've only ever spent Christmas growing up with my immediate family. Now that I don't speak to my siblings, Christmas is normally spent with my parents, or my husbands parents or DC. I've never cooked for more than 7 people and you known what it's fine. In fact it's more than fine. I've always had wonderful Christmases, had great memories and never ever felt I've missed out because I haven't had hordes of people to feed.

I always think Christmas is such a busy period that it's nice for the actual day to be quieter with immediate family. Having heaps of people over would in fact be my idea of hell. If you prefer a bigger Christmas that's perfect OK, but we need to move away from this thinking that those don't have as many people round our table are somehow missing out or having a less magical Christmas.

I have a small family, aunts and uncles and cousins don’t live nearby (mine or DDs), so Christmas growing up was me, parents and 3 grandparents, which is the same as DD has now. Biggest Christmas I’ve hosted was pre DD and there were 8 of us, biggest Christmas I’ve been to was about 13 and I didn’t really like it, not sure if that was because of the number of people or just that it was a different way of doing things to how we did them. We usually see friends in our local pub before Christmas dinner and then see them again on Boxing Day or the day after so DD gets plenty of time with kids her own age.

Large family Christmas are absolute stuff of nightmares for me. I am not from UK and we always did 24th just us, 25th one side of family, 26th second side. All quite chilled small gatherings. Very nice. We aresmall family.
Never under why some people on MN thimk small Christmas are sad, but I guess it's just what they are used to.
Now it's just dh and i this year again. Love it

We have a small family celebration, my DH and I both had unhappy childhoods and dysfunctional families. We use to tolerate all the stress years ago of being forced together with them, but now I’ve broken contact with mine a good few years ago, and his are far away and low contact, we have a nice relaxed day with our older teenage DD. Usually gifts in the morning, a nice dog walk, lovely meal and relax. We all prefer it. We don’t even celebrate on the 25th anymore as we’re not religious, so celebrate Yule/Winter Solstice on the 21st instead. We both had very unhappy memories of Christmas, so rebranding it and creating our own unique family traditions on the shortest day has been better. There’s so much expectation and pressure to have big family gatherings and conform, and many families aren’t straightforward and it causes a lot of anxiety or bad/sad memories. Or people may have smaller families or lost people. I say, just do/enjoy what makes you happy and let go of what is expected.

Wise words @Larrylobstersrollerskate

I'm really, really hoping it's just me and DH this year! We always travel around to family / in laws etc but so far nobody has mentioned us going to them or coming to us which I am absolutely delighted about 😬(believe me, both our families are very out-spoken so if they wanted to do something they would let us know 😆).

If it is just us then I'm thinking a nice meal on Christmas Eve - maybe crab or prawns to start with and then steak and chips followed by a sticky toffee pudding 😍Then Christmas Day, a lovely lie in before a big walk with the dogs, pop into the local pub for an hour at midday to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and then home to a - small and simple - Christmas dinner. Get into our PJs, a couple of nice bottles of wine on the go and lots of nibbles and chocolates.

Right, off to change my phone number so nobody can contact me between now and the 25th December 😂

We have had a small family Christmas since we got married. it was just us until we had our daughter. We see the one half of our family on Christmas Eve and the other on boxing day. Christmas day is for relaxing, opening gifts, and stuffing our faces.

I hate it. No siblings, no cousins, I have to host my difficult mother every year. Sad for my kids that they miss out.

Maybe you should've skipped this thread then. I'm not the Thread Police but the OP did say

I just wanted to put a post where those that have small families or have small Christmas's can post about the positives and happiness of them.

I love a quiet, small Christmas. I've done all the running around and when I was little had to be dragged away to go to my nannas with the whole family. There was like 30 of us, seen as though my mum is one of 8.

Now I see my mum and her partner before and after Xmas. Xmas day is me, dh our two boys and the cat. My MIL then pops over for the afternoon for a few hours. Love it. TV, games, food and NBA basketball 🏀

It was always just the four of us for Christmas as a child. Which was fine.

DH and I generally had some combo of his siblings and my mum and his dad for years. Both our parents the died and he has fallen out with his siblings. Last year was the first we had just him me and the kids. I was dreading it but it was fine really chilled.

All the instagram nonsense about how it’s going to be MANIC and the “overwhelm” of going to a nativity and a Christmas fair does my head in. Also for some people those are the only social/ Christmas things they do so people whinging on about what a drag they are gets on my nerves!!

We spend Christmas with just the 4 of us and have done since DC1 was born.

Mostly out of necessity - one side of the family is in another country, the other side is 2 hours away but multiple family members work on Christmas Day.

Neither of us ever travelled at Christmas as children and we wanted our children to always wake up in their own home on Christmas Day (as we did).

Before kids, we spent years travelling to spend Christmas with family. It cost an absolute fortune trying to keep everyone happy and frankly, it was a bit miserable for us.

Our Christmas is lovely - we've built our own traditions and we don't have to worry about anyone but our own children. We take it at a slow pace, go out for a walk in the afternoon and have a takeaway so that we aren't spending hours cooking.

I don't regret a thing - the rest of our life is so busy and pressured and it's wonderful to slow down and have a day to focus entirely on our own family.

Since me and DH were married we always had Christmas day with just the 2 of us it was great not going anywhere. When we had kids it was the same. If people wanted to visit Christmas morning that was up to them. It's what we have always done and we love it. There are so many posts from people doing things they don't want to just to please others. Start how you mean to go on.

I would absolutely LOVE to have Christmas with just me and DP.

We don't actually have kids and we don't have big extended families, but over the years we've always alternated between having my mum and dad or DP's mum for Christmas, with our respective sisters having them the other year (if that makes sense). So, if we're having my mum, DP's sister has MIL, and if we're having MIL, my sister has my mum.

I love my mum and my MIL dearly and of course they won't be around forever, so I try to make as much fuss of them as I can, but my god, I'd love to have Christmas Day with just me and DP now and again.

Christmas Eve we'd probably go out somewhere lovely for the morning, maybe one of the nice little towns nearby, then have lunch out and come home for the afternoon, maybe get a few food bits prepped for the next day, watch a film with a bottle of wine and some nibbles. Christmas Day would start with a leisurely morning shag followed by a cup of tea in bed listening to the radio, then we'd crack open some champagne and open presents around 11am, cook a really nice dinner together to eat late afternoon - maybe pheasant or duck or something - then go for a stroll, then we'd come back, mix a few cocktails, play a couple of board/quiz games or puzzles together while getting increasingly tipsy while grazing on leftovers and cheese, then we'd go to bed for another shag.

Boxing Day we'd go for a nice long walk, drink in a country pub, back home to watch a couple of Christmas specials we'd recorded from Christmas Day, read whatever books we got for Christmas etc. Maybe a long bath with a glass of something before bed.

Frankly, by the time the opportunity to have this kind of Christmas ever actually comes around, we'll probably be too old and knackered ourselves to enjoy it, but I can dream, right?

I met my husband in 2014, apart from one year when my adult daughter and her husband came to stay for 3 days we have always spent the day just the 2 of us. He visits his elderly mother early in the morning before she goes to his sisters.
After many many years of cooking for extended family I love the peace of quiet day just the 2 of us.

The Christmas after my dad died, 5 years after my first husband died I spent the day on my own. Had a couple of visitors earlier in the morning. It was a lovely day.

Think TV adverts are very misleading, making us think big family get togethers are such fun

We usually have a fairly large Christmas but these will get smaller in the future (larger, but getting older extended family) however my direct family is just me, my DH and our DD. Last year we spent it just the three of us in Thailand and it.was.amazing! Will absolutely be doing it again.

We're spending it just the two of us (DH and I) and I can't wait to not have a day of forced fun and either being hosted, or cooking all of that food.
We can have a lie in, go for a huge walk, eat a roast, watch whatever we want on TV, and skip all of the stuff we're not bothered about (Christmas pudding being one!)

Last year was the first year we did a just us bit, although we did it on Boxing Day. Spent Xmas Day with the big extended family and then came home and did our Xmas Day on Boxing Day and it was lovely. Very tempted to do it again this year!

It was only DH, DS and me for years because we lived in another country from all of both families, and DH’s job always involved work on Boxing Day so we didn’t travel. Those were lovely Christmases. We have lovely memories of playing those racing Santa games by the fire, cooking deeply eccentric food, running around after DS on his first balance bike, silliness.

I absolutely love our little Christmases.

We do family stuff Christmas eve and Boxing day, alternating whose family we're seeing. But Christmas day is just me and Mr. Bread, and it's bliss.

We can get up whenever we want, I usually get up first because I'm like a kid and overexcited. I can sit in peace having a cuppa and watching Christmas trash or whatever. Then we'll have eggs benny for brunch, drink some bucks fizz, stick Muppets Christmas Carol on and open our presents. Stay in our comfies all day and no pressure to get dinner done at any specific time (plus a roast for two is a piece of piss, I can bash it out in a couple of hours so no slaving away in the kitchen!) We do an after dinner quiz, play boardgames or just veg in front of a movie.

It's so chill and so easy, I wouldn't have it any other way.

There's only ever been the 3 of us at Christmas - which is the best thing about it all! I absolutely love our tiny Christmases, and right from when he was little we've got DS involved in deciding what new family traditions we should have for our very own Christmas, which has been good fun. This includes eating steak instead of turkey

Our Christmas family has fluctuated over 40 years. Starting small then growing to include new children, partners, in laws, friends with no other family, divorced lone family members. We had to use two big dining tables for Christmas dinners.
Since 2000 the numbers have gradually dropped, mostly due to the death of friends and family.
In 2021 there were just 3 of us.
We are now up to 6 as one adult DC has a new partner and their parents are also included.
I don't mind how many there are at our Christmas celebrations. I do miss all those we have lost lost though.

DH and I are having a smaller Christmas this year - and I've been feeling quite sad and nostalgic for the huge family events of the past but actually this lovely thread has made me see things rather differently! Thank you to everyone who has shared.

on actual Christmas Day, we have it at ours. Just me, husband and kids. It’s brilliant. Kids play with their toys. We have loads of food and drink throughout the day and just enjoy the magic. Anyone who wants to come is more than welcome but we don’t move around houses or travel.
we visit inlaws and my family at Christmas too and have a brilliant time with them all, but the actual day is always at ours. But equally I wouldn’t exclude anyone; so if anyone family or friends wants to come round or is alone, then the more the merrier.
alwyas was like that growing up too and never felt like we’d missed out on something. Christmas was always incredibly special.

Since 2020 it's just been me and DP for Christmas. DD spends it either at work or (on very rare occasions when they're both off on Christmas day), with her DH. They live 3 hour drive away so can't just pop in after work. Previously it was just chaos as my parents would host everybody (about 15-20 people), throughout the day. December 25th also happens to be my birthday and spending the day how I want is still quite a surreal feeling 5 years on.

For me I also grew up with small family Christmases. Only had 1 visiting relatives, we never spent the actual day with cousins or anything. It's what I'm used to but my DH had to get used to it.