Husband not as supportive as he was

[Anxiousandargh]

Hello,

Currently going through some issues, I'm signed off work with anxiety brought on by my work and some bereavements in my husband family. I work PT two days a week where he is full time.

I'm not the most resilient with my anxiety and due to my role I get to see a lot of sick and dying patients, DH once was very supportive of my anxiety but seems less so now. Taking about when will I return to work, what can we do to help etc.

Money is tight and I'm only on basic wage whilst of sick so I think this is worrying him but I need time to feel well enough to go back to work.

What can I say or do?

What are you doing to help your MH? Are you taking medication? Have you accessed any counselling? Do you have any coping mechanisms, that you can implement? If you suffer with MH issues, and can only work 2 days per week, but are stressed, then I'd say that the job you are doing isn't suited to you. If you're dealing with sick and dying patients, then that's tough for most people, but clearly it's harder for you due to your own MH. Perhaps you need to rethink your job? Your husband asking you what will help you to get back to work, isn't unreasonable. From his point of view: it's his relatives that died so he grieving, he's working full-time, he's expected to support you, he's concerned about finances yet it's you that's struggling. Can you not see how that looks to him? And why your usually supportive husband is feeling meh about your anxiety??! He may very well be feeling stressed and anxious but where's his support?? No one is saying your feelings aren't valid, and you should be returning to work tomorrow but you do need to think 'how can I help myself'. You are the only person who can help yourself, with the support of professionals. I speak as someone who's had unresolved trauma, anxiety and panic attacks.

I have anxiety and it’s debilitating but you really are better off working.