to think we aren't stingy?

[pencilpotted]

DH and I went to the cinema today, we went online to book and the tickets at all showing today were £5, so we buy our tickets and go about 12pm. We've just had breakfast at home and the food at the cinema isn't to our taste so I just fill our water bottles and we see the film and don't buy any snacks etc.

Then after the film we left the cinema and drove to a local place we like for lunch. We each order a main, a soft drink and a platter of sushi to share. All this cost about £50 with the cinema being another £10.

On the way home we dropped in on DH's parents and his sister was there with her family. We tell her what we had been up to and she enquires about what we had and how much it costs and then tells us that it's because of people like us being stingy that places are struggling and closing down and that these days it's expected that you order a bit more, buy food from the concession stands at the cinema.

All we wanted was to see the film, I don't want to drink a large fizzy drink or eat a hotdog or ice cream right after breakfast. It wasn't my fault the cinema tickets were discounted. The cinema was empty only about 8 people in the screening but it was early.

If I go for food we order what we want but I'm not ordering extra drinks and sides I don't want just to please the restaurant? Does anyone actually do this?

We do try to be intentional with our spending but that doesn't make us tight fisted?

I don’t like the food/snacks at the cinema. Why should I buy some to keep Vue or whatever in business? The tickets are already a fortune these days! And usually the cinema is always dirty, smells and isn’t anywhere I’d like to be eating, to be honest.

If I want to eat in the cinema I pay more and go to Everyman where it’s pleasant, air conditioned, and doesn’t smell of greasy old popcorn and unwashed seats.

@bymyleftelbow I assume she was implying that the reduced cinema ticket was to incentivise spending on food and I'm sure for many it did but again we didn't go looking for a cheap ticket and we aren't going to buy something we don't actually want.

We have one of those too. It’s lovely! And I spend so much more there than the Odeon or Vue because it’s a proper experience.

You shouldn't be giving what she said any head space whatsoever. Absolutely crazy that she apparently thinks you should organise your life to support local businesses.

I was brought up with very little spare money in the family and the habits of my childhood remain with me: take your own food and drink where possible and arrange outings without spending anything unnecessary.
And I'm not ashamed of the mantra , " look after the pennies and the pounds will take care of themselves"
You did absolutely nothing wrong. But she was totally out of order to make the comments she did.

She’s batshit but your chosen reaction is indignation at a petty remark. Just roll your eyes, say thank you to the powers that be for the reminder that your SIL is batshit an move on with your happy life.

I’d assume that the discount of the ticket was to sell more tickets! There’s no implied moral debt that suggests you should be spending more on snacks because the ticket was on offer. She’s bonkers!

I don't get why this woman is so invested in this sort of detail? Is her life really dull?

That wasn’t stingy at all… DP and I take sandwiches and a flask anywhere these days and eat on a bench bc we can’t afford to eat out (DP in between jobs and we just spend 12 months travelling). Our budget is our business and if establishments can’t stay open then that’s a shame but they’re not offering something people find desirable enough to pay for.

She’s a nut job and you are the sensible one

Sounds crazy to me.
Besides which cinemas don't care if you bring your own food and drinks as long as it isn't offensive smelling or super noisy.
I have a monthly sub to my local cinema so go a couple of times a week. Always midday showings and I always take my lunch (I buy a meal deal on the way!).
TBH even when you werent allowed to take your own food I still did!

Cinema near us has a bar at the back, it’s very well used. They also do plates of cheese and biscuits. However, whilst we do have a glass of wine, we’ll sometimes go to the nearby pub for dinner first. If we go to the multiplex place, I’d never buy their crazily priced sweets.

Erm, salaries haven't gone up but a cappuccino at Nero's is now close to a fiver, so no, I wouldn't get the overpriced snacks at a cinema either. Plus, you benefited the sushi business after the movie.

In broad terms, I agree that recessions involve, in part, people restraining spending, which in turn hurts businesses, which in turn lay people off, who in turn have even less disposable income to spend, etc. But it's a societal trend based on confidence and a sense of what salaries can now afford, rather than something any individual 'should' be addressing in their daily spending behaviour. Blaming YOU for the country's economic problems is....as others have said.....batshit.

I think you are right and she is wrong. We have cinema passes so you can view all movies one time each per month for a set amount of 18euro (its about 8 or 9euro per ticket anyway normally and we go cinema a lot). Normally we have just had dinner so would go the local cinema 5 mins away and if we wanted anything we would get it but i prefer to watch the movie and just sip my own water as not a huge fan of fizzy drinks and i dont like chewing things when watching movies anyway normally. We did order two large soft drinks and a large popcorn between us a few weeks ago and it was 17 euro so its bloody expensive but normally we just go, watch our movie and go home. It is not a mean thing it is because we prefer it this way and we have paid for our tickets anyway so really makes no odds to anyone.

I think the only stingy thing was filling up water bottles for the cinema, which is against the house rules of most cinemas (not to consume anything brought from outside on the premises). If you are concerned about looking stingy, buy a mineral water...

Otherwise the only way the restaurant or cinema could possibly have resented you would be if they were fully booked and you took away space from customers likely to spend a lot more. If both were half empty then a customer spending some money is better than an empty chair.

She's an absolute weirdo. My dad used to ask questions like "how much did that coffee cost you?" etc. It got on mg nerves. However you were describing a movie followed by a meal. "Was that movie good?" "Is the food good in that restaurant?" are acceptable questions. She's a nutjob.

To be fair the cinema doesn’t make money on their tickets regardless of them being discounted or not. However no you’re not stingy. Not everyone fancies the cinema food. Odeon are on places like Deliveroo and it turns me thinking about getting cold cinema food

Surely not for tap water? I don't want to be drinking water from a plastic bottle or fizzy sweetener or sugar laden drinks, especially as I need water on me at all times to take emergency medication if required.

A mineral water in my cinema is $6. I’m taking my own in. I don’t care if it’s against house rules.

Bottled water could be free and I'd still not drink it unless unavoidable. We have perfectly decent tap water so there's no need for it.

Theres even mechanisms to charge for the cost of supplying it. We stayed in an apartment block in Tenerife that had a vending machine where you could fill up your own containers with filtered, chilled water.

The cost was very cheap, something like 10 c a litre.

She sounds a bit stupid. Do you think she lives on credit cards and in constant debt because of her attitude of excess?

I’ve got 3 different cinemas near me, all different brands. They all allow you to bring outside food in. Their only rule is no hot food, so you can’t turn up with a McDonald’s or something. Snacks and drinks are allowed.

You spent £50, you could have stayed at home and eaten a dry bread crust between you, your SIL is an idiot.

I can't remember when I last bought cinema food, though an evening show has on occasion entailed a glass of wine.

Bugger taking in a water bottle. We usually take a cpl of little bottles of wine and a cpl of plastic wine glasses.

I have no idea why anyone would pay for the vastly overpriced food and drinks at a cinema. We would never have been able to afford to take the DC if we’d bought snacks there. As I used to tell them, “ The film is the treat.” TBH I despise the smell of popcorn and think most foods are anti social in a cinema setting. I think you did the sensible thing OP, spent your money on nice food in a separate place.