To be surprised school didn’t ask about DDs black eye?

[Savethebric]

DD (10) gave herself a stonking black eye at the park the weekend before half term (so two weeks ago).

I was fully expecting a call from the school to ask what happened, but nothing. What shocked me more was that DD swears not one member of staff asked her what she had done to her eye!

AIBU? Appreciate DD is fine, but what about the kids who do need to be asked? Or am I mistaken and teachers won’t directly ask a child what happened?

The weekend before half term? So it had at least a week to be less obvious before going back to school?

I'm a teacher and I would usually ask. I teach 8 to 9-year-olds and many often come in with bangs and bruises and I would find a way of dropping it into conversation. Although it may have been noted even if no one has asked you directly.

No - she’s not back yet, she did it the weekend before the last week of term. She’s back tomorrow and it’s still visible from two weeks ago !

I'd be surprised too..but I'm wondering if she came in the door announcing it to everyone so no one asked the question as such. So when you asked her if anyone asked her about it she truthfully answered no. If it never came up at all in any way I would think that's surprising.

Why didn’t you share the information with the school? I often have parents drop off and leave a message about how an injury was undertaken. I don’t know why you wouldn’t save them a job by letting them know.

I'm absolutely shocked you didn't get called, I do think you should have told them before they had chance to ask but thats really shoddy safeguarding on their part.

I suspect a staff member did ask but I'm also completely confused as to why you wouldn't have had word with the teacher about it.

My DS got a corker of a black eye when he was about 5 from sleep walking into the banister post at the top of the stairs. School at that time didn’t ask either and I was a bit surprised.

Chances are her and her friends were talking about it and so the teacher didn’t need to ask. I’d have probably dropped a message to school to let them know on her first day back

When my daughter was younger and went into nursery or school with an injury I would usually let the school know first what had happened. It meant they were not concerned that she had injured herself whilst in their care. Most obvious ones were a split on the forehead that had already been treated and had steri-strips, and a rash on the arm (we think a reaction from suncream).

My son was born with a birth mark on his left cheek. It was not raised and looked like a bruise. It became more prominent when he was ill because he’d be pale .
From about the age of 6 months every time I took him to the doctor, the doctor asked about the mark, this was fine but eventually I asked them if they could note their records. The way I saw it was if it wasn’t a birth mark and he was being hurt , every time they asked, I answered and they accepted that, only to ask again on our next visit.
it was probably a couple of years later that they did eventually note his records. It didn’t matter for him obviously but it really could have had he actually been being abused. He’s a grown up now and it’s still the same, always more prominent when he’s under the weather.

Agree, my sons played a contact sport and I let the school know as they would regularly be bruised etc. I also gave the name of the club too.

Possibly not asked directly but has volunteered the information to teacher or to friends in teacher’s earshot. If one of my kids went in with a black eye I’d expect a friend to ask and be told about it.

Rightly or wrongly I’m assuming there are some some kids that worry teachers more than other and they’d ask some “probing questions” my twins are very chatty so will give you every detail of everything before you’ve even asked for it.

She’s year 6, I don’t drop off, she walks herself to school.

They have strict rules about emailing the school outside of hours (very stroppy emails if they are emailed out of hours). By the time I got home and realised they hadn’t called me it seem by the by to let them know

Yo should have contacted the school OP. This is on you. Why do people always want to blame schools?
If you are concerned, instead of posting on MN, contact the school and ask them why they didn’t speak to you. You will probably find your daughter gave them a satisfactory explanation (I wouldn’t rely on a 10 year olds memory of something that probably wasn’t of significance to her).

Asking the parent, especially if they suspected abuse, would not be the best thing to do.

I am sure I read on here years ago that black eyes are not usually a flag for abuse in children, so they may not be worried.

Just saw your dd said they never asked her about it, but maybe they overheard her telling someone else or something

My oldest ds was very 'lively' and two years running had a black eye in the sitting on Santa's knee picture.

My youngest ds was 'imaginative' and stuck 18 small verruca plasters in a jagged line across his forehead. They're extra sticky and I didn't have time to soak them off before nursery. He looked like Herman Munster.

The nursery teacher took one look and said 'is it really that bad?' I explained that they were verruca plasters and I'd need time to work them off gently. She laughed a little hysterically.

I think teachers probably know which kids are well looked after but likely to have bangs and bruises.

My daughter had a Mongolian blue spot on her back - now faded. The hospital warned us that because it looked like a bruise it may cause concern when seen, They put it in her red book and made sure to show us where it was, so we could refer to it if we needed to.

Select a time to send the email. I usually plan it to arrive at 8am. It’s easily done on the outlook app. You could also have given her a note to hand to the teacher. I don’t understand why you wouldn’t do this when you recognise that it’s an enough of a safeguarding concern that you’re considering complaining the school didn’t notice.

Asking the parent is always the first thing they'd do.

I'm very surprised they didn't call you too OP but I'd assume DD did actually tell someone.

I always ask the child. It’s safeguarding.

Oh really? I was always taught not to approach someone you suspect is abusing someone as you could make it worse. I was told to report it instead. (But I'm not an expert or anything, so happy to be corrected)

Depends what your role is. If you have a line manager or safeguarding lead you would pass your concern up to them.

Asking the child is the first thing they do. Which is much more sensible surely as an abusive parent could make stuff up. I’ve noticed in A&E every person they see asks child how they did it so they tell the triage nurse, the practitioner nurse, the doctor, the radiologist. I’m not sure if they are just being polite or if they check it’s the same story.

Yes, I meant after the child.