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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Parenting as an adult with suspected ADHD — anyone else feel like this?

9 replies

Butterflysize · 02/11/2025 17:34

I’m wondering if anyone else has experienced similar patterns and how you cope — especially when parenting.

I’ve started to suspect I might have ADHD as an adult. I’m constantly anxious and physically twitchy — I get this restless, urgent need to move and do. If something needs doing, I can’t relax until it’s done. My heart races, and I get really stressed if we don’t act on things straight away.

I’m always in this “do, do, do” mode until I suddenly realise I’m starving, thirsty, have a pounding headache, or am about to wet myself because I’ve ignored every signal from my body. Then I’ll crash completely — hours on the sofa, no energy, brain fog — before another burst starts again.

At work I go into these periods of intense hyperfocus, but it’s the same story: I’ll work for hours without drinking, eating or even moving.

What’s really hard is weekends with my son (who I suspect has ADHD traits too). He talks at me from the second he wakes up — loudly, intensely, with no pause — and I end up feeling so overwhelmed I want to cry. I love him to bits, but it’s like our energies amplify each other until I’m totally frazzled.

Has anyone else recognised themselves in this? How do you manage your own regulation and parenting when both you and your child have those ADHD-type traits?

Would really appreciate hearing how others cope — especially with the constant noise, talking and emotional overload.

OP posts:
PigletIsWorried · 02/11/2025 17:42

I have ADHD, I'm not sure about my son. He's too young for diagnosis really and at his age I don't see a lot of ADHD traits save that, like your son, he talks ALL THE TIME. Literally a non stop, ceaseless stream of conversation from morning til nighttime.

I don't really have any advice - it's just really hard. I use loop earplugs sometimes but I don't love them, they sometimes just make me feel out of things. I rely a lot on getting out of the house - the non stop chatter is less consuming in a wood than in a living room, and wearing out my son sometimes gets me a little respite!

Butterflysize · 02/11/2025 19:00

I’m ashamed to say that today I took some tramadol I had in the medicine cabinet to effectively knock me out because I couldn’t cope, usual methods are more like binge eating and online shopping

OP posts:
Butterflysize · 09/11/2025 20:53

Hopeful bump, after another weekend of spiralling. I feel like I’m exactly the parent I don’t want to be right now 😔

OP posts:
themerchentofvenus · 09/11/2025 20:59

Omg this is me!

My brain never shuts up. Go go go from when i wake up until when I sleep. It's so stressful.

Exercise helps. And i keep my brain busy. I play drums and piano and do duolingo.

As for the kids, i do my best not to lose my shit with them and if it feels like too much then I put headphones in for a few minutes so I don't have to listen to them.

I also work as a teacher so the go go go brain is all family stuff and all work stuff too. It is exhausting but when i manage a crazy busy day and all goes well i feel really satisfied!

Bookwormmumuk · 09/11/2025 21:00

Hiya i totally understand how you feel, I really stuggle with my wee ones gurning it totallt overwhelms me at times. I have a few diffirent things i do to try to help like little phrases i say to try to help keep me grounded, heading out for some fresh air or we have little dance parties so i can move a bit and get out some frustration if i feel i need too. It might sound daft but i made myself little action plans and left them up over the house for a while and little quotes of who i wanted to be as a parent. ADHD really does make it so hard but hopefully you will find something that works for you.

Butterflysize · 09/11/2025 21:56

is anyone on ADHD meds and do they help?

OP posts:
FuzzyWolf · 09/11/2025 21:58

Butterflysize · 09/11/2025 21:56

is anyone on ADHD meds and do they help?

I am and yes, they do.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 09/11/2025 22:02

Yes I’m a lot like this. Especially how you describe your son (mine has diagnosed ADHD) talking non stop.

When my two were little I found the constant need to engage all day so exhausting!

KnittedMam · 09/11/2025 22:10

Me, and yes!! Have had to ration this week’s meds as prescription had to be ordered in and I’d already submitted it with really short notice. Needed to make sure I wasn’t without on a workday, so chose today to go without. Today has been horrendous. I’ve been super snappy, crap at actually having any motivation to do anything and absolutely shit at working out timings for dinner!

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