Primary school bullying/confidentiality

[Schoolquestionn]

So primary age child has been very upset for months due to a child in her class (they were friends the previous year) but child is quite nasty so my child decided try end the frendship completely. Other child could not accept this and school was not helping until I put the world "bullying" in an email and that is what had been going on.

Anyway the school did not keep this child away from mine for some reason but since I put the word bullying they had to esculate it and this teacher/deputy head who has not handled the situation well in the past, called the other parent and told them that I called up and accused their child of bullying etc etc.

My question is, is this right? Should she be actually telling the other parent what I said? Rather than what has been going on in school from their view etc etc.
I don't know I just feel it breached some sort of confidentiality of some sort especially since the used to be frinends but not sure if this is the norm.

Thanks in advance.

How do you know what the Deputy Head said to the other parent ?

This

@ExtraOnions the other parent called me the same day and told me and the same words were used.

Teacher of 35 years here.

Where I work, if any parent alerts the school to a situation that they think is bullying, then we are immediately obligated to implement our Anti Bullying Protocol.

The first step is to inform all staff and organise complete vigilance at all times on school premises.
The second step is to open a register where everything ( and I mean everything) concerning the situation and students named is logged.
Then all of the parents of the named/accused students are called into a school meeting to be informed/heard.

The situation is controlled and monitored over a certain time and school inspectors have the final say over any measures that need to be taken.

It's a time consuming, but rigorous ( and necessary) process.

Accusations of bullying need to be taken seriously, and that includes informing and listening to all parties.

@GeorgeClooneyshouldhavemarriedme but my question is should they have told the other parent what I have said? As in such and such has been on the phone and said XY and Z?

They have to inform the accused child's parents of the accusation - how could they not?

If their child has been accused of bullying, of your child, or of anybody else's, then they have a right to know.

Bullying is taken very seriously. The staff have to address the accusations made and
you cannot expect only one side or one family to be heard.

If you've made specific allegations against their child then yes, I would expect the other parents to be told.

Should she be actually telling the other parent what I said? Rather than what has been going on in school from their view etc etc.
Until an investigation can take place, it's only an accusation. What has been going on os what you say is going on.

So yes, they need to inform the parents of the accusations so they have a chance to share their stance on the matter.

Yes, a parent should be told if their child has been accused of bullying. How are they supposed to sort it out if they don’t know? For the school to investigate your accusations properly, the other parents need to be able to give their child’s perspective too.

You are unreasonable in your expectation that the school should keep this child away from yours. They can’t control every interaction that happens between children in the playground and they will not support a child being excluded or your dd being unkind just because she has decided to end the friendship. You have to support your child to deal with it, and if there are actual incidents that could add up to bullying, your child needs to tell an adult there and then.

In our school, they would inform the parent of the bully that there had been an accusation of bullying “from another child”. They wouldn’t give the name. But usually the children fill in the gaps to their parents anyway.

@Geranium879
Yes that is how I thought it worked. Not I "have had XYZ mum ok the phone and she has accused so and so of XYZ".

How on earth are they supposed to let them know their child has been accused of being a bully without telling them their child has been accused of being a bully? 🥴

And if the mum knows you well enough to have your number and phone you why didn't you try and sort it out with her?

@BallerinaRadio
I don't think you have read the thread. Either that or you have missed the point entirely 🥴

Just reread, I'm still not sure how you want them to broach the subject of bullying without mentioning the bullying aspect. You told them you child was being bullied (using the magic word bullying in your email) and they went to the parent of the bully to discuss this.

How did you want this conveying without mentioning bullying?

@BallerinaRadio
The word bullying is not the problem here. Thank you for you comment but I don't have the energy to try to explain this to you. It has been draining as it is but thank you for stopping by and reading.

There are other comments on the thread pretty much echoing what I say so I'm not quite sure where the confusion comes in but ok