To feel shamed by this question?

[HappyHen17]

Please be gentle as this has really left me feeling like crap and I’d like to know if there’s any real reason for the question that I was asked. I’ve had hip issues for ages and finally decided to use my birthday money to go to a private physio as I’d waited so long on the NHS. During my examination she asked several questions about my stretch marks and how I’d got them-I had some big weight gain and loss in my early 20s relating to difficult circumstances, plus pregnancy. I left feeling really uncertain about why I was asked and really self conscious about how I must look to professionals. I’ve always enjoyed massages and as the hip issues are still not resolved, one would be useful but I feel so insecure. Does anyone know if there’s a medical reason for the question as that may help me to feel better about it.

I assumed it was to do with EDS. I have it and have a lot of problems with my hips, I also get stretch marks breathing in too hard! I'm exaggerating but I get them easily, I can actually feel them forming.

Pregnancy and weight gain can impact hips! Really sensible of her to ask

Really?
So when I was in my early twenties I went to the then Family planning clinic re problems with my coil and I had questions such as Why are you so hairy? How did your baby die? thrown at me. For absolutely no reason .
I count those questions as not only intrusive but downright vindictive. And I just lay there with my legs akimbo in a very vulnerable position and inwardly died a death. There was no medical reason for these questions and to my eternal regret I didn't protest

So that's why now I" m older I will put pertinent questions in my medical appointments and make sure I'm counted as a person.

Why are you so hairy? Thoughtlessly worded as repent as could indicate a health issue.

How did your baby die? I am so sorry.

I see you are determind to excuse the inexcusable.
You are denying my experience.
You don't know how this woman doctor behaved.
You weren't there to see her body language and her attitude.
You weren't a young woman who had recently given birth out of wedlock at a time when that was considered a moral and social sin. And you hadn't experienced alone the very recent death of your baby.
But hey ho, what do I count for in the scheme of things?.
If I say the hairy line on my tummy had nothing to do with the coil becoming embedded in the wall of my womb then I'm sure you will find some reason to excuse this doctor's nasty unnecessary questions.

Good grief
i said the hairy question may have been probing for an underlying health issue that may be relevant to choice of contraception

I am very sorry you lost a baby and how it was handled by this hcp

you, however, have very decisively chosen to take offence and see shadows.

which I suppose given your stance on HCP questions, isn’t a surprise

A hairy line on your stomach may indicate PCOS

I'm taking offence because you are determind to deny my experience.

You are determind to put your own interpretation on something that happened to ME.

You weren't there. You have no idea of the apoalling way women like my self were treated, even in the 1970s, if we were immoral enough, in the eyes of society , to give birth outside marriage.

So yes I admit to being irreversibly damaged by my experience.

But that doesn't detract from the point of my original post on this thread. Which was in medical appointments if you don't understand why a question is being asked of you then quiery it. Ask why the question is being is ask. Ask what relevance it has to your current problem.

It was a very straightforward point. Not controversial at all. I really don't understand why it has resulted in your attempt to diminish me as a person worthy of an opinion.

I am presenting the possibility of an alternative explanation based on the information provided

and you have gone from 0-100. Accused me of denying you, belittling you, discrediting you.

all very odd so I’ll leave you to it

This! Stretch marks unrelated to weight gain are a marker for EDS, Marfan syndrome and all sorts of other things that can cause hip pain.

Clinicians really should explain why they’re asking this sort of thing to avoid misunderstandings.

It has resulted in your very personal attempt to diminish me as a person worthy of an opinion.

sweet Jesus. Life must be full of so much… drama with this kind of hyperbolic response

I think the odd thing is that when I posted my opinion that people should ask questions in a medical appointment about the questions they were being asked that you interpreted it as an attack on health care professionals.

I was merely saying that people should be prepared to speak up and voice what they dont understand in an appointment.

That you see trying to make sense of your medical condition as an attack on health care professionals is very strange and worrying.

As I say, I’ll leave you to it

Thanks for the feedback. Maybe I’m just a bit over sensitive! I should have asked but I was so surprised and didn’t think to in the moment and then didn’t see them again. And in response to being called ‘huffy’ I’m in no way that! I was upset and confused and just wondered if there may have been a reason as there is no way of asking as it was quite a while ago. I’ll not be responding further as the post seems to have become an argument!
Thanks to those who took the time to offer feedback and potential explanations.

Aside from the question, do you feel like you are being taken seriously, listened to and treated well?

Yes I did and she was very helpful and escalated the situation for me and another medical problem. I just couldn’t understand why that question and that left me feeling this way, rather than her care.

In which case, I’d have trusted that the question was not asked for any other reason aside from helping you in your quest for better health

I was going to say this, as is stretchy skin