Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed by house guest constantly tidying up after me?

8 replies

Pleasegetmeacoffeesotired · 02/11/2025 13:28

This may be more of a vent, and I could definitely be unreasonable because I am more than ready for my MIL to go home now. She's staying for two weeks (3 more days to go!) and is being helpful in the most unhelpful way.

I'm not untidy at all, there may be a few dishes in the sink but they all get done and everything gets reset before I go to bed, but MIL insists on swooping in to do them seconds after a dish is dirtied. I can't put my coffee mug down without her whisking it away.

The worst is that she doesn't actually clean them properly (they will still be smudgy with bits of food stuck to them) and I have to do them again anyway, after I find them put away in some random place because she won't ask me where anything goes.

She also cleaned all the toilets the day after she arrived, even though I'd just cleaned them and the bathrooms were completely spotless! It honestly makes me feel a bit judged and that she thinks my house is dirty.

I've tried saying in a nice way that I would like to clean up. Something similar to "oh, Mil, you're doing far too much to help. You relax and I'll clean up after dinner!" She'll agree and then she'll do it all anyway when I'm putting the baby to bed!

AIBU to be getting massively annoyed, even though she's trying to help??

OP posts:
Sockdays · 02/11/2025 13:29

Yanbu.
2 weeks? Yikes

ThirdStorm · 02/11/2025 13:31

Trying to be helpful, after such a long stay I can understand that, wanting to pull your weight. Can you ask her to do things? So she’s actually helpful?!

Neolara · 02/11/2025 13:34

It sounds like she wants to help as opposed to judging you. I agree with seeing if you can ask her to do something specific that would genuinely be helpful.

PermanentDarkMode · 02/11/2025 13:35

Hmmm maybe a slight bit unreasonable?
If she had been there for two weeks and sat doing nothing like Lady Muck while you waited on her hand and foot I'm sure you could imagine the different thread you would be posting!
It sounds like she's trying to be a good house guest and getting it a bit wrong.

Createausername1970 · 02/11/2025 13:42

I can see she would want to help if staying for such a long time. I hate staying in other people's homes for more than a few days. I like to potter, read, have a bath, do random things at random times. Trying to fit around others routines for more than a few days and staying put on the sofa is not always easy.

Can you find something for her to do? So if she offers to do something you don't want her to do (washing up), you can say "don't worry about the washing up, but if you could do some ironing/match up odd socks/make a cup of tea/clean the swimming pool etc., it might help.

notgoingonabearhunt · 02/11/2025 13:44

My dad was like this. I think it came from a good place but like you it did have the result of making me feel really judged and was also irritating as I never really got to chat to him as he was constantly cleaning! So sympathy and YANBU from me!

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 02/11/2025 13:48

It does get a bit much even if it comes from a good place!

Hopefully she’s not taking your coffee cup away before you’ve had the last bit!

Pleasegetmeacoffeesotired · 02/11/2025 13:48

Thanks everyone. Asking her to do specific tasks is a good shout.

I don't really expect anything from people staying, except generally cleaning up after themselves, but I can see she is just trying to be a good house guest.

Two weeks is a longgggg time, but we live abroad so it's the most convenient and cost effective to stay a couple of weeks.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page