To not know where to seek help for neurodiverse overwhelm

[Kittlewittle]

I am finding that I am increasingly overwhelmed. Likely due to pressure from work/home. I am approaching 40, and not sure if it is age related (but no perimenopausal symptoms).

I have a diagnosis of dyslexia, and had neurodiversity coaching where they said that ADHD and/or autism were likely more appropriate diagnoses, but they weren't able to diagnose. I have not sought out a formal diagnosis as I am unsure it would be of any benefit.

I am wondering what is the best way to seek out support.

I am so sorry you're struggling - please go and speak to your GP.

I was recently diagnosed with autism and my GP was absolutely incredible. He listened to me, had me fill out a couple of diagnostic questionnaires and then referred me for diagnosis. Ask for "Right to Choose" and you'll be able to pick a provider - mine was Psychiatry UK and they were really good.

Out of curiosity, what do you mean by overwhelmed

I guess it would be called meltdowns in children. Anxiety leading to not being able to cope.

Have you found that having a diagnosis benefited you?

There are also threads / boards for ND adults here and even if you don’t have a diagnosis you can still look there for tips that might make life easier - I found many suggestions that that are actually really helpful for me

Yes, 100%.

It helped me understand why I was struggling and I stopped feeling so guilty for struggling with seemingly normal tasks and environments. It's also helped me explain to people why I can't do certain things, if that makes sense.

I would definitely recommend going to be assessed. It can take a few months (ten in my case) but it was definitely worth it.

Another one suggesting you get assessed. And in the meantime, try some of the strategies suggested for ADHD/ASD adults. I have a busy, full-on life, and now consciously drop some things / have started listening to the little bell in my mind warning me when I am about to say yes to this or that extra commitment. I reflect on situations that feel uncomfortable or difficult rather than just pushing through "because everyone else is fine" - ie if last time the 3pm meeting/loud restaurant/unstructured weekend time was very difficult, I try to remember that and either change things (if I can) or allow for some breathing space after.

Sorry hopefully not hijacking the thread but has anyone been diagnosed with anxiety and suspected ND instead/as well?

I've had CBT for anxiety (physical effects - ECGs done, blacked out just as examples) and am in the process of getting CBT for general anxiety. Have a 8mo baby and have struggled with my systems being upended and the constant struggle to stay organised and remember everything. This week I've left my car unlocked with my phone inside, and my house keys in the door. In the assessment she said the brain fog and disorganisation are symptoms of GAD but it's something I've always struggled with. If I don't have a visual reminder of something, and one I can't possibly miss, it won't happen. Baby's needs are all taken care of and that's me over capacity for anything else.

Just interested as autism and ADHD run in my family but the long wait times and wondering if I'm being unreasonable and overthinking things keep me from asking the GP again.

@ridl14 I was misdiagnosed with anxiety and depression for almost 20 years. According to my GP (who happens to be a specialist in autism) it's incredibly common in late-diagnosed females.

I've been diagnosed with anxiety and depression, and many people within my (albeit small) support circle suspect I'm autistic as well. Anxiety is a very common comorbodity (I think that's the correct word?) with autism and ADHD

I also think that you need to go for an assessment to see if you do have autism and/or ADHD and then you can seek the appropriate follow up support as a result.

While there is medication available for ADHD, unfortunately there is practically no support available for high-functioning adults with autism. One you get a diagnosis, that's it, really.

I have ADHD and my experience shows what you’ve said is not true.

But you have ADHD, not autism - how do you know what support is available for autistic adults?

I have my diagnosis and there is nothing for me unless I shell out hundreds of pounds a month for private therapy.

Unfortunately there isn't any support really.

For adhd you might get medication after years long waiting lists but there's no guarantee it will be effective.

My advice as a late diagnosed woman is to live as if you have it. Ask for reasonable adjustments at work, apply for access to work funding if necessary. You don't need a diagnosis, you just need to show that you have a need. Other than that, just try and identify what it is that is overwhelming you and take steps to mitigate it. For example, cutting hours at work, changing job, creating time for self care, that kind of thing.

If you can afford it, therapy can be useful. I've found EMDR to be particularly effective.

I agree with all of this.

I pay for private therapy (over £200 a month - luckily my parents help with the costs) but otherwise my GP can't offer me anything other than regular anxiety medication (which I was on before my diagnosis anyway).

The most helpful thing for me was to realise that if I work part-time, I can function, but that full-time work (of any kind) will eventually lead me to burnout.