Ds13 has adhd and autism spectrum doesn't like being home. He told me. He rather spends his days outside with friends because i am always complaining and nagging. He doesn't feel he can relax at home.
This is true. It makes me feel very sad and guilty and a bad mum, but this is true. I constantly nag and complain. He is not doing well at school. He doesn't listen in class, talks and messes around with friends instead. He cheats with his homework. Scribbles pages full of unreadable gibberish and pretends he did his work but just cant read his own handwriting. His grades are just above fail. If i don't nag and pretty much push him put of the door, he would never make it to school on time. Ive been to the school twice this term already for an intervention.
At home he doesnt do any chores unless forced. And i do force him. I am a single working mum of 2 boys and can't do all the chores myself. And i dont think i should. His responsibilities are keeping his room clean, tidying up his own messes and taking recycling out. Thats it. Thats all i ask. But its always a nag and a fight.
The consequences of not doing school work or chores is always loosing phone/ screen time. I always keep my word and take it away but he always screams and shouts when its taken away. He has always screamed the whole house down if something upsets him. This is nothing new, but i thought he would be over it by now. But no. Still screams. Maybe it is an autistic meltdown. I dont know.
Rewards dont work. Schedules dont work. Having something nice to 'earn' doesnt interest him. Its either full on nagging battle, or he just doesnt do anything other than mess around with friends. He is a friendly sociable sporty boy. Loving also. But we are constantly fighting. Calm talks have him agree to do something. He is very good at saying yes, yes, yes i will do better, take more responsibility, be on time for school, but then nothing. Nothing changes.
I just have no other tools to cope with him. Please help! His friends are ok, i have no concerns with that, but i just dont want to push him put of the house like this. What can i do?!