Work colleague pissing me off!

[FranklyMyDearIGiveADamn]

Has anyone had a colleague at work who uses humour to make you feel like shit? I genuinely don't think he knows what he's doing though, or does he?

I didn't want to put everything in the first post as I know these appear on facebook.

Without going into too much detail. I work for a department but not in the building with the other staff, I'm out in the field. I work with a guy (jim) from another department. My job is to make sure people are safe. Jim, I will say is a nice guy, everyone loves him but when we are working together he uses humour that makes me look stupid in front of the people I'm responsible for as well as in front of their families. If I ask him to do something for the safety of the people I'm responsible for he questions it. It's all done in "humour" but it's constant. If I need to report a concern to my department he tells me to leave it, it's none of my business. He told me something a family member said, I told him I need to report that to my department and he said don't, I'm not telling u anything again. He's obliged to tell me and report what was said. It's like he thinks he's at school and I'm a grass if I report it. It's vulnerable people, of course I'm supposed to pass information on to the relevant people.

Today there was 2 simple things I asked him to do (he's obliged to do) so I could keep people safe and he questioned it and undermined me. It really got to me, and the whole shift we didn't speak. I could feel my eyes filling up. As soon as my shift was over I burst into tears. I messaged his boss and told him I've had enough and if nothing changes I won't be coming to work on Monday. His boss called me and Jim is going to be moved and I'll get another one of his colleagues from his department.This is the second time I've spoken to his boss so he knows what's been going on. Now I want things to change and it seems like it will.
I've not stopped crying since I got home tonight. I just feel like shit with no-one to talk to and I know it's going to be awkward on Monday, like I said, everybody loves Jim and they all think he's a funny guy. He is a funny guy, I don't dislike him but everything is a joke. to him. Before I was allocated Jim I said to his boss I want someone who's chatty. His boss actually said to me, "remember what you asked for"! Now I know what he meant.

I don't know what I'm asking here. I just want someone to vent to.

Ah. Jim doesn’t sound as if he’s suited at all to the work you do. He sounds like an idiot, and you sound very reasonable.

It might be helpful to plan what to say on Monday, so you don’t feel awkward.

You did the right thing.

He'll say to the people i look after that i need to be sacked and have them chanting for me to be sacked and say to them that I haven't done my job right then he'll laugh. These are people that take things quite literally. In front of families he will tell me to move it, call me incompetent and undermine something I've just done or asked him to do etc when he pissed me off last week he sent me a WhatsApp asking me if I'm still annoyed to which i didn't reply. He told these vulnerable people about it when he shouldn't have.

Oh god. He sounds just like a guy who worked for us and we had to get rid. Same name too..

it was like his maturity stopped evolving aged 14. I felt like I was on a carry on set most of the time he was around. I don’t know where he ended up but I’m sorry you’ve got one too. Well done on tackling it.

He sounds awful. Quite right to get him moved. Good for you.

Thanks! I know it's going to be awkward around all his colleagues too. I get on really well with them all but for a bunch of men they all gossip and talk about each other and I know Jim will putting his own spin on it. I'm the type of person that keeps my mouth shut. I could tell most of them what they've said about each other but I never have. I will say it's not nasty stuff, just really moaning about the unfairness of their workload whilst others have it easy (according to them)

Thanks! I know it's going to be awkward around all his colleagues too. I get on really well with them all but for a bunch of men they all gossip and talk about each other and I know Jim will putting his own spin on it. I'm the type of person that keeps my mouth shut. I could tell most of them what they've said about each other but I never have. I will say it's not nasty stuff, just really moaning about the unfairness of their workload whilst others have it easy (according to them)

I changed the name but definitely sounds like the same type of guy. Same, everything is a joke. He seems to think making me look stupid is also a joke. Like I said, I genuinely don't know if he realises what he's doing.

I'm sure you're not the only one that thinks Jim is a nice person, but equally know he's over the top and they probably think themselves fortunate that they're not out working with him.

It's also quite telling that his boss is more than happy to partner you with someone else without to much, if any questions asked.

Try and enjoy your weekend and go in on Monday with head held high knowing that you do your job well.

I’d be really concerned if you are responsible for people’s safety and he’s behaving like that. You did the right thing but importantly he sounds like a liability.

Thanks for this. I know i do my job but he makes me feel shit for it.

It's a school bus I work on and he's the driver. If there's an issue with the kids he needs to stop and I deal with the situation. Stopping seems to bother him for some reason. It's like I've made an unreasonable request.
Asking for the door to be kept shut until I get to the front of the bus because kids take off their seatbelt and potentially bolt. He's made jokes about that too although he did do ask i asked which lasted 1 week now he's going back to just opening the door and when I've said your opening the door again he's ignoring me and talking to parents. The parents do sense some tension.

I would practice keeping schtum with non commital answers. The less you tell them, the more they will have to watch their step. “I’m really not able to tell you why Jim was moved, but going forward I am looking forward to us providing a much more professional service”.
Jim is a cunt by the way.

I've to go in and see my boss on Monday. She will speak to his boss about it.

His boss has had a few issues with him recently too so he knows what he's like.

That sounds perfect but I know Jim will make me look like the c-unt.

Have you ever had a face to face with him where you've told him to grow the fuck up OP? He really does sounds like a silly teenager, who has a craving for attention.

Anyway, you've done EXACTLY the right thing, your boss would NOT have had him moved if they couldn't see how right you are about his behaviour. Also, people who make others laugh, do tend to appear popular, but I bet you the vast majority wouldn't want to work with him in the job you do. I agree that you should do what 'BeepBoopBop' advised, and say “I’m really not able to tell you why Jim was moved, but going forward I am looking forward to us providing a much more professional service”. That way you won't appear to be running him down which would doubtless put your next colleague on edge, and make for an uncomfortable relationship. Jim can put whatever spin on it he likes, but once you start working with someone who doesn't look at the job as one big joke, they will see that you are just being professional, and hopefully shut any further gossip down.

Now try and relax and have a nice weekend, you deserve it!

I think others will know you are a reliable thorough worker, who takes your responsibilities seriously and Jim (as fun as he is) can behave like a right dick. Ot sounds like your manager has expected problems but hoped Jim would behave.

Hold your head up high and be proud you are putting H&S first.

And thank you for being that person who helps the students on the bus.

It really sounds as though Jim is not safe or intelligent enough to handle having a job with such responsibility. It's not humour, it's bullying, and it's utterly irresponsible when your job involves safeguarding vulnerable individuals.

I haven't pulled him aside but I have snapped at him a few times because of his comments and behaviour. I told him a few weeks ago I'm not talking anymore and he didn't utter a word to me for the rest of the shift so I think he knew I was pissed off but it hasn't stopped him.

Yeah I think keeping quiet is thd best policy. I've worked with his colleagues before and there's never been any issues, some of them are his real friends so I'm sure they would question what Jim says to them.

Thanks so much. I needed to hear these nice comments. My head is bursting. I think I need an early night

Yes, i agree. I didn't look at it as bullying before but that is exactly what I'd tell someone else.

Gosh....

It's Jim's job to drive the DC to and from their destination and your job to keep them safe, now I'm in no way accusing the DC of misbehaving but I'd never chance having DC on a bus with the door open, yes I have DC of my own and we all know how unpredictable they can be and how fast they can move.

Sounds like you're doing a eally good job in keeping them safe, unfortunately Jim may need more training.

Do you work for a school or is it and outsourced service?

My school has a bus service like this and Jim would be hauled into the office for this kind of behaviour. In fact, ‘our’ Jim has been a few times.

Yes, you've got it right. Kids have escaped from the bus before (not my bus) because the driver has opened the door before we get to it. He obviously needs told again by someone higher up than me.

Yes, i work for the school. Now I'm worried incase we are at the same school. Chances are slim but you never know.