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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend ALWAYS late - AIBU to be annoyed?

19 replies

Scotchmist1 · 31/10/2025 21:01

If you had a friend that was always late, sometimes by as much as 30-40 minutes late, with no real reason, and at times this has involved being stood waiting for them in the pouring rain with your kids (couldn’t go in as I had their tickets!) with no apology or acknowledgment of the fact you’ve been stood around for ages in the rain waiting for them to stop faffing, would you start to become annoyed at the inconsiderateness/lack of respect of your time?

OP posts:
Splendidbouquet · 31/10/2025 21:09

If this has happened on multiple occasions and you are only starting to get annoyed now then you must have a very forgiving nature OP.

If there is no extenuating circumstances for them being late then it is quite blatant rudeness on their part to keep you waiting around . Your poor children.

And there is no excuse for not offering an apology - even if there did hapoen to be a good reason for the lateness she should still be apologising.

Honestly OP i wouldn't be meeting up with her again when she is showing you such blatant disrespect.

Enrichetta · 31/10/2025 21:13

I wouldn’t have waited half an hour. The fact that you had her ticket was her problem.

Actions have consequences. Rudeness has its own rewards.

strawberrymadam · 31/10/2025 21:15

I’d let it go once, if it happened twice I would go in without them.

themerchentofvenus · 31/10/2025 21:17

Just lie to them about the time you are meeting.

My bestie at uni was like this. If we were meeting at 8pm I'd tell her 7.30pm.

DeborahVance · 31/10/2025 21:18

I'd have gone in and left her ticket on the desk

MummyJ36 · 31/10/2025 21:21

I once lost it with a really good friend who was spectacularly late for a theatre show and I think she was beyond taken aback. I was so angry with her for ruining my evening, whereas when she’d done it before it hadn’t quite seemed that bad. I actually think it’s important to be honest because I can tell you….shes never been late again!!

Createausername1970 · 31/10/2025 21:27

I definitely wouldn't have hung around in the rain. As another poster said, I would have left her tickets at the front desk and texted her to tell her where they were.

Going forward, don't make plans to meet that will involve you hanging around, arrange to meet inside somewhere so you can go and do something while you wait, and they can come and find you when they show up, and make it clear you will go if she doesn't show.

Or, just don't make plans to meet.

PoliteSquid · 31/10/2025 21:30

I’d be fucking fuming, and probably wouldn’t bother trying to meet up with them in the future.

JG24 · 31/10/2025 21:31

AHH I have this and it has driven me mad...20 years of it and I kept brought it up properly once and she did not take it well!
Luckily she is now with a partner who hates being late so of I'm meeting both he makes her be on time
I also plan for her being late, so take a book and order a glass of wine. Tell her I'll meet her in the activity and take me child in. Or meet her at hers so she can't be late
And yes I know I'm pathetic for putting up with it. But it's honestly one of the only faults she has

StripyHorse · 31/10/2025 22:05

themerchentofvenus · 31/10/2025 21:17

Just lie to them about the time you are meeting.

My bestie at uni was like this. If we were meeting at 8pm I'd tell her 7.30pm.

We have friends like this. We avoid meeting them anywhere that we would be standing around waiting, and tend to tell them earlier than we actually want to meet.

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 31/10/2025 22:08

I dont care if its "time blindness" diagnosed adhd/whatever.

If you can be roughly on time most of the time. I'm not interested.
I was more flexible prekids now I dont have to time to waste...

Also I think the "tell them a later time" is crap advice - they eventually clock and turn up even later as thry know 3 means 3.30 or 4 so turn up at 4.30.... just get better friends who respect you and your time.

Gilgogirl · 31/10/2025 22:11

I’d have gone in a left them and not answer any text or calls or anything. How dare they do that to your children, never mind you. Don’t wait for assholes.

Gilgogirl · 31/10/2025 22:15

DeborahVance · 31/10/2025 21:18

I'd have gone in and left her ticket on the desk

That’s a very reasonable and level headed thing to do. I’d probably have become angry but you solved it in the best way. I wish I’ve thought like you some times.

Toddlerteaplease · 31/10/2025 22:15

I have a friend like that. It’s so disrespectful, I did him a massive favour once and he was over 90 minutes late. It had a knock on effect on other people and I was really embarrassed. It really affected the friendship.

jetlag92 · 31/10/2025 22:19

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 31/10/2025 22:08

I dont care if its "time blindness" diagnosed adhd/whatever.

If you can be roughly on time most of the time. I'm not interested.
I was more flexible prekids now I dont have to time to waste...

Also I think the "tell them a later time" is crap advice - they eventually clock and turn up even later as thry know 3 means 3.30 or 4 so turn up at 4.30.... just get better friends who respect you and your time.

Me neither, it's just rude. If you know you struggle with being on time - make it a priority.
I once had to go into a show without my friend as she was too late. Ticket was left at the box office, but we were sitting on the moving seats at Starlight express and you can't access them once the show has started.
DD has ADHD and a couple of times, I've either left without her or not taken her to places (even with repeated reminders).
She's got the hang of being a lot more organised now.

Viviennemary · 31/10/2025 22:22

Just dont arrange things with them in future.

OMGitsnotgood · 31/10/2025 22:27

I have a couple of friends who are always late. They are just very disorganised.
i turn up half an hour after the agreed meet up time and that seems to solve the problem

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 31/10/2025 22:30

I would have gone in without them! I wouldn’t stand out in the rain with my children.

In future either tell them earlier than you mean and/ or arrange to meet somewhere where it doesn’t matter if one party is late.

TwinklyStork · 31/10/2025 22:37

Going in with her tickets is the perfect example of a natural consequence, OP. She’s late, so she doesn’t get to do the thing.

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