Not acknowledging my haircut

[MimsyBorogrove69]

I'm not sure if I'm being unreasonable or not. I have just had my haircut. Once more my husband has completely refused to acknowledge it. It's not that he's chronically unobservant; he knows I've just had it done. He was right by front door when I came back and it should have been the most natural thing to say something. It may sound petty and like I'm 'high maintenance' - I'm not, if anything I'm too easy going. If it was a one off, it wouldn't bother me, but this had been going on for years. I feel it's almost like a little power play.

If it looks very different, he must surely have noticed. I think it's reasonable to expect a reaction, it doesn't have to be gushing.
Maybe he can't be bothered saying anything, or he's embarrassed showing emotions, scared of saying the wrong thing??

Have you got a different style to normal?

Same here!

OP your husband probably thinks you look gorgeous all the time!

2 months? Or did you mean 2 years?

My mother is a narcissist (in another country). 👍
Her reaction exactly.

@Luckyingame really interesting. I'm having terrible trouble dealing with DM now she's elderly - I'm glad you can relate - I have a visceral reaction to this type of behaviour, ie my heart just flips/sinks; I feel anxious; I want to escape. I HATE being with her for more than an hour or two. It's the constant projection of huffing and puffing and "sad toned comments'.

Perhaps he’s been reading Please Mrs Butler. One of the poems is about how awful it is to have a haircut, because everyone says “ooh, you’ve had your hair cut!”

If it’s only two months, then it sounds like you’ve just had a trim, so maybe nothing drastically different. Just a bit shorter?

I’ve been with DH for a decade and I don’t think he’s ever commented on my hair except when I’ve specifically asked for his opinion. Likewise, I’ve never commented on his.

Honestly, you sound a bit needy, but I appreciate everyone looks for something different from a partner. Maybe you just aren’t compatible, want different things, and it’s time to call it?

You’re not needy! They make me sick, they always need you to comment on anything they’ve done like fucking children! But they don’t want to say that you look nice. I swear mine didn’t comment on my weight loss for over a year - I lost 10 stone! He’s still fat. I’m guessing yours is probably a bit worried you look good. Post your socials and we’ll all like your photo of your new hair!

Has it occurred to you that you getting your hair cut is, shock horror, not that important, and doesn't need to be commented on?

Next time maybe have something like this (see photo).
I did once and EVERYBODY noticed!

P.S. I didn't have the beard.

I can only say I hear you.
Just waiting for all of it to end now and finally start a new, free life (if I make it). These people tend to live very long time, for some screwed up reason.
❤️
Edited to say both my parents were hugely emotionally abusive and mostly absent.

You shouldn't look for complements why is it your right to expect anyone to say your hair looks nice, it's nice when someone notice s it but you should not think it is a given right, your husband didn't ask you to have your hair done it was your choice, and as for someone on here saying you should leave him well that person is not wife material in my opinion.

Greetings & God bless you original commenter
I've only just seen your comment & yes I completely comprehend how it's upsetting /disheartening
Someone you're in a romantic relationship with, it's natural to be wishing for some compliments
Of course, I don't know your husband but I relate to being ignored when I know I've made an extra effort
Also I commenced to recognise when my partner was deliberately being evasive because he disapproved of me getting my hair done
He hated me looking attractive
Sometimes, it was genuinely that he just didn't notice, but you most surely, eventually, generally get to discern when someone, this close to you, is deliberately being spiteful, by ommitting basic compliments, & the times where it's because they're preoccupied or something else is the reason
I don't think there's anything wrong with letting your husband know, of your disappointments
You can only gain from being honest, in most of these types of circumstances?
Wishing you all the utmost best 💚

Feel for the OPs fella if it's not the latter. He's not noticed a haircut and now his marriage is being questioned. Before and after pics please, before we commence with his punishment.

That does sound a little insensitive by your husband I must say. Yes do you have any before and after pics to share? I'm sure we would all agree it looks great.

Can I ask is your husband bold? Just a thought but can you rule out jealousy?

How does it take more effort not to comment on a hair cut that was just a 2 monthly trim?

Nearly 2 months isn't really very long. If you had grown it for 2 years then had cut very short it may be more noticeable

I was in a quiz team about 10 years back. One of the team ( a married man with 3 daughters) kept looking at me strangely. Halfway through the quiz he asked what was different about me that day. Id had shoulder length blonde hair cut short and dyed pillar box red lol

Nearly 2 months! Maybe you are high maintenance and he cba to comment that often.

I suppose it depends on the haircut. If you keep the same style and have a tidy up cut then he's unlikely to notice or comment. If you had a drastic change of style from long to short, then he's a dick for not saying anything.