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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I a laughing stock?

814 replies

CovidHeadache · 31/10/2025 09:03

I jokingly call my house “surname towers” so for example if my surname was Jackson, my house would be called Jackson Towers. I’ve called it this for years, it’s very very lighthearted as I’m sure everyone knows. We host a lot of social events and I use the name in invites for example “birthday party, Jackson towers”, “Strictly finale party, Jackson towers” etc
In Christmas/birthday cards “love from A, L and all at Jackson towers”

All my friends and family know I call the house this and some call it this name too either in replies or just in general.

Anyway, last night I’d popped to my mums and my sister was there, we were talking about taking the kids to a Halloween event tonight and I said “why don’t you bring them back to the towers afterward and we can have a little party?”

My sister then said “I’m sorry but can we stop with this towers bullshit, it’s so cringy”. I said “It’s a joke! And you’ve never complained before!” My mum then said “not to your face maybe”. They both started laughing and my sister then said “no I’m sorry, someone needs to say something, people have been ripping the piss out of you for years for it, just give it a rest now”.

so to cut a long story short, turns out almost my entire family have been slagging me off for it for years and my sister hinted that my friends have too.

When I got home I rang my friend and asked her if the towers name annoys her and she said “no course not” so I asked if she knew if it annoyed anyone else to which she hesitated and then said “not annoy as such”. She wouldn’t elaborate further.

Now I’m pretty thick skinned and can mostly laugh it off if I’ve been a dick but this time I’m a bit upset, I keep trying to tell myself I’m not bothered but I can’t stop thinking about it. Have I been a laughing stock for years? If so AIBU to think someone might have mentioned it before now?

OP posts:
APatternGrammar · 31/10/2025 10:10

I don't think you are a laughing stock at all, as they are still in touch with you. It's just a joke that went stale. I'm guessing you won't want to use it any more anyway. It's natural that your pride is dented but the sting will fade.

Fernie6491 · 31/10/2025 10:11

Funnily enough for years we've jokingly called our house (name of road) Towers, only because it sounds like something from an Enid Blyton book!
If family visit they may put a Facebook post saying 'spending the weekend at (blank) Towers. Most friends know what they mean !

weareallcats · 31/10/2025 10:11

It’s fine and, tbh, this would make me do it even more! Fuck them. I say this as someone who has a stone dragon guarding our townhouse - I don’t care if people think it’s wanky or cringey - I like it, its presence pleases me and therefore it stays.

Sassylovesbooks · 31/10/2025 10:12

I can see that you mean the X Towers in a humourous way. I guess it was amusing to friends/family in the beginning but the joke has worn a bit thin, and instead of finding it funny, it's been overused and lost that in the process. Your sister was unkind, not by telling you but in the words she used and the way she told you. She could have said something (a long time ago!) in a much more sensitive manner. I imagine, she just got fed up, and decided to be brutally blunt. All your friends/family must be very good actors, if you've never suspected anything. You now know, so just stop using the phrase, but I would let it be known that you'd have appreciated it more if people had told you once it became annoying, rather than letting it get into a situation where you sister felt she needed to be unkind to make her point.

SprayWhiteDung · 31/10/2025 10:13

Albemarle10 · 31/10/2025 09:56

I think the people who have issue with this just lack imagination, verbal skills and a sense of humour. It’s just a bit of a joke - it’s not as if you’re insisting that they must refer to your house as “Jackson Towers” or making everyone put it in the address on letters.

To be honest, though, if OP always calls it Jackson Towers, it does kind of suggest that it's how she wants it referred to and it would make friends feel awkward not to follow suit - for fear of offending her.

I know it's not quite the same thing, but it could come across as when somebody gives their baby a truly awful name and then everybody deliberately keeps referring to him/her as 'the baby' or 'the little one', because they simply cannot bear to call them 'Rainbow-Moonflower'.

Cucy · 31/10/2025 10:15

Dontlletmedownbruce · 31/10/2025 09:14

It's a bit like someone calling themselves by a nickname when no one else does, especially when it starts with 'The..'

This is exactly it!!

Its funny when it’s said every now and then but when it’s said too much (especially when you’ve called it that yourself) is when it gets cringey.

Its like The Sherminator off American Pie.

I have a nickname that people call me and even that I rarely use myself but to give myself a nickname and use it all the time would be a bit too much.

I don’t understand the reaction though.
It’s not that deep.
If you enjoy using it, then carry on but just know that other people don’t find it funny.

Outside9 · 31/10/2025 10:15

Sometimes a joke can wear thin when it's been heard several dozens of times

purple590 · 31/10/2025 10:15

Oh you have to lean into it now OP. At least get a sign made.

I think people are probably laughing about it but it doesn't mean you're a laughing stock or that people don't like you. You obviously don't take yourself too seriously so don't let people having a laugh at you bother you - embrace it. People definitely need something to laugh about these days!

Your sister on the other hand does seem to have an issue, but there's probably more to that than you being a bit silly/cringy.

Quamarina · 31/10/2025 10:15

That’s a bit mean of them. I used to live in a flat above shops that had no front door on the street (eg, official address was 123 high street but the entrance was actually on a back road called eg the lane, it was a couple minutes walk from the high street down another road to access my front door. I never got post delivered & had to order taxis from ‘the lane’). Anyway I had very long hair when I moved in & jokingly nicknamed the place ‘rapunzels villa’ like the fairytale because there didn’t seem to be an entrance. I didn’t refer to it as such except to the landlord who thought it was hillarious & he had a little plaque made for my gate (his son had a sign shop). It made me happy & I thought harmless, but now I’m wondering if guests I bought round were laughing at the cringe, especially when I had short hair a few years later

usedtobeaylis · 31/10/2025 10:15

I think the fact that you ALWAYS use it takes it beyond a joke and into a 'thing'. But so what? If they don't like it, they don't like it. If you do, you do. You probably at this stage do get a few eye rolls but I wouldn't imagine anything malicious.

Tigergirl80 · 31/10/2025 10:16

PickleLighter · 31/10/2025 09:15

Does your husband call you 'The Lady of the Towers'?

It is cringy OP. Sorry. At least you know now so you can stop!

That was my first thought.😂😂

ldnmusic87 · 31/10/2025 10:16

I expect it got old very quickly.

MummBRaaarrrTheEverLeaking · 31/10/2025 10:16

We all "Towers" the in laws, they have a big family so being the top of the chain, thats what the family say. Or "Surname HQ".

I have been known to Chez our house but only with close friends and when my best friend comes over to stay I'll joke if she would like her "usual suite" (the office with a day bed in it) but that's about it. I wouldn't put it in a card though sorry.

Catpiece · 31/10/2025 10:17

It’s probably you constantly referring to the house as something that it’s not that’s wearing a bit thin

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 31/10/2025 10:18

I should have said, you’re not a laughing stock though.

The other option I guess is to lean into it and do it more, as some pps have said.

Splendidbouquet · 31/10/2025 10:19

Personally I would just accept that this was just part of who you are.
It wouldn't bother me in the least if that's how you choose to refer to your home.
It's just a quirk and people are entitled to having harmless quirks.

Your sister sounds as though she has other issues with you and she decided to settle on this to " bring you down" . It was spiteful and unpleasant of her.

And I would suggest anyone else who criticises you over this should get a life - an expression I dislike and rarely use but which seems appropriate in this case.

MovingBird123 · 31/10/2025 10:19

I think it's quite funny

LemonTreeGrove · 31/10/2025 10:19

It's harmless and it wouldn't bother me. Is your sister maybe jealous you have a bigger house than her? They sound bitchy to be mocking you behind your back.

dijonketchup · 31/10/2025 10:19

I think it’s funny, and if you were my friend I would have really enjoyed gently laughing about it a bit behind your back. It would have enhanced my life slightly.

BUT my priority would be our friendship and I would never let on that I found it cringy, I would be mortified if I hurt your feelings.

Is there anything your friends do that you find secretly a bit funny but would never let on? I hope so, how boring would life be if we were all the same and all liked the same stuff and weren’t allowed to do things we think are funny.

TheSmartFOne · 31/10/2025 10:20

We have a longstanding group of friends who refer to us as Lord and Lady D (surname begins with D), and I'm always referred to as Lady D within that circle. They also often call our house 'Surname' Towers. However, I've never referred to myself as Lady D nor called my house D Towers. I do refer to DH as 'his Lordship' on occasion, eg. "I'll have to check with his Lordship and let you know" kind of thing, so I'm not completely averse to a bit of faux pretention! However, I'd feel a bit cringe calling my house Dxxxx Towers, or myself Lady D. Fine for others to do so in a jokey way, but I'd feel self conscious using those epithets myself.

But each to their own, and if you like it and want to continue using it then style it out and crack on. The world would be a very dull place if we all stripped ourselves of any personality for fear of annoying others.

SprayWhiteDung · 31/10/2025 10:21

Not to derail, but I'm now randomly chuckling at the address for Richie and Eddie's flat in Bottom - which was on Mafeking Terrace!

Prawnlove · 31/10/2025 10:21

TheSmartFOne · 31/10/2025 10:20

We have a longstanding group of friends who refer to us as Lord and Lady D (surname begins with D), and I'm always referred to as Lady D within that circle. They also often call our house 'Surname' Towers. However, I've never referred to myself as Lady D nor called my house D Towers. I do refer to DH as 'his Lordship' on occasion, eg. "I'll have to check with his Lordship and let you know" kind of thing, so I'm not completely averse to a bit of faux pretention! However, I'd feel a bit cringe calling my house Dxxxx Towers, or myself Lady D. Fine for others to do so in a jokey way, but I'd feel self conscious using those epithets myself.

But each to their own, and if you like it and want to continue using it then style it out and crack on. The world would be a very dull place if we all stripped ourselves of any personality for fear of annoying others.

Have you ever asked your friends why they call you this?

fruitfly3 · 31/10/2025 10:22

It is cringy, sorry OP. But I’d be really sad about people taking the piss out of me behind my back. People in this world are so often mean and quick to use their collective power to belittle someone else.

JustReacher · 31/10/2025 10:23

Our house has a name rather than a number, it always has had, we didn't name it and if I were to send written invitations they would say "You are invited to dinner at The White House" (it's not actually called that) and that would be fine I think. If I were to text anyone I would say "10am, our house" instead. I wouldn't use the name of the house in anything other than a written formal invitation or when telling people our address.

I think what you've done is completely fine, it's an innocuous joke and who cares? Your mum and sister are being mean. And I bet your friends just don't care at all but you put one on the spot by calling her and so she had to think about it. I'm sorry they all upset you though, you haven't done anything terrible, not at all so try to forget it and move on.

Rainbowcat77 · 31/10/2025 10:24

Ooh I think I may know you Op, or at least I have friends who do something very similar to you.
It’s never occurred to me to be irritated or laugh at them? It’s just one of their small quirks.
The strong reaction from your sister though does suggest that other people find it a bit pretentious.