Am I a laughing stock?

[CovidHeadache]

I jokingly call my house “surname towers” so for example if my surname was Jackson, my house would be called Jackson Towers. I’ve called it this for years, it’s very very lighthearted as I’m sure everyone knows. We host a lot of social events and I use the name in invites for example “birthday party, Jackson towers”, “Strictly finale party, Jackson towers” etc
In Christmas/birthday cards “love from A, L and all at Jackson towers”

All my friends and family know I call the house this and some call it this name too either in replies or just in general.

Anyway, last night I’d popped to my mums and my sister was there, we were talking about taking the kids to a Halloween event tonight and I said “why don’t you bring them back to the towers afterward and we can have a little party?”

My sister then said “I’m sorry but can we stop with this towers bullshit, it’s so cringy”. I said “It’s a joke! And you’ve never complained before!” My mum then said “not to your face maybe”. They both started laughing and my sister then said “no I’m sorry, someone needs to say something, people have been ripping the piss out of you for years for it, just give it a rest now”.

so to cut a long story short, turns out almost my entire family have been slagging me off for it for years and my sister hinted that my friends have too.

When I got home I rang my friend and asked her if the towers name annoys her and she said “no course not” so I asked if she knew if it annoyed anyone else to which she hesitated and then said “not annoy as such”. She wouldn’t elaborate further.

Now I’m pretty thick skinned and can mostly laugh it off if I’ve been a dick but this time I’m a bit upset, I keep trying to tell myself I’m not bothered but I can’t stop thinking about it. Have I been a laughing stock for years? If so AIBU to think someone might have mentioned it before now?

Oh please do this OP, it is a great idea. Get AI to turn a photo of your house into an old fashioned portrait with a really ornate frame. Possibly you and your husband and pets standing out the front in evening gowns or with crowns on of something.

Lean in. If anybody doesn't appreciate your self-irony at that point they are just a hard faced twat.

Shite, I have a door plaque and it's not on the door but next to it. I'm doomed. It doesn't contain the words "towers" or "manor" though so maybe I'm ok?

Our surname is Tillman, and we call our place Tillman Towers, it's marked as that on Life360! I don't know if anyone outside of our immediate family (who all live at Tillman Towers!) knows we call it that, but I wouldn't expect to have my DM and DSis rip the piss out of me if they did. It's clearly a joke, as much as we love our home, it's a flat above a shop.

In all honesty, the answer that you got from your friend is quite telling. It does look like you have been an object of ridicule for a while.
I don't think the issue is the name per se. It is the fact that your are now using it as synonym of "our house "in even casual everyday conversation when there is really no room for silly jokes.
You said "why don’t you bring them back to the towers afterward and we can have a little party?" and I can see why that triggered your sister as it does sound corny and naff. Normally, people would say back "to my house". It looks like you are waiting for any occasion to jump in and shoehorn the silly name.
And the fact that your house may be bigger than the average property, but by no means a mansion or stately home, contributes to the perception that you’re trying to sound more important than you really are.
If it was only one person criticising your for this I would give you the benefit of the doubt and put it down to the other person being easily irritable for no reason.
However, the fact everyone, friends and family, has been mocking you behind your back indicates that you have gone too far with this nonsense.

Don't we all have those jokes/sayings we are driven mad by/wear thin on the 456th telling?

I used to really dislike the dunroamin type names... Obvs originally a bit jokey... But it seemed in the 70s every other house on a bungalow estate would be a variant!

Then there were all those office signs 'you don't have to be mad to work here...'

My all time irritants... The' I'm having a cheeky beer /sausage roll..'

A bloke I worked with... Everythjng was a 'cheeky x..'... He did eventually rein it in when another colleague started saying... 'Ah Dave are you just off for a cheeky wee, before you have your cheeky sandwich at the cheeky pub '😁

Your sister and your mum don't sound very pleasant if they've been being nasty about it in private for so many years.... Rather than enjoying the joke and gently teasing you!

Haha. We have a 2m retaining wall around two sides of our house. It's a bone of contention for us as we were forced into it by local council. It cost a lot of money, time and looks horrible.

Anyway, we deal with it by calling our house 'the great wall of (name) street'. Those who know get it, others look at us like we're nuts. We don't care. It makes it a bit less unpleasant to think about. We've toyed with putting a house name sign up, but never got around to it. I'd definitely do it if someone was rude. A BIG one.

I think people need to get a life. It's obviously a joke and not something to be mean about even if some people feel it's a bit jaded now. Family and friends being mean behind your back would make me wonder if there is some jealousy about something in your life

I’d do it even more.

YABU. Is Surname Palace. Make sure you only have ticketed entry from now on, that'll teach em.

Not offensive or cringe at all, more an effort at lighthearted. You host parties and make jokes - you sound like good fun OP so never change.

There is a difference between a lighthearted mickey taking and a sneer. It sounds like your friends may have indulged a bit in the former in an affectionate way but your mum and sister went all out in sneering which isn’t cool.

Ah try not to let it get you down, I'm sure most of us at some point have been on the receiving end of a subtle side-eye/giggle! It doesn't make you a laughing stock. One person's funny is another person's cringe!

Maybe your sister is jealous or thinks you're trying to attract attention to yourself or making it all about you.

not saying you are, but it's the sort of petty shit siblings get embroiled in.

and maybe the joke wore a bit thin after the 20th time of saying it!

I wouldn't consider it too deeply - carry on calling it that if you like it!
I would find it slightly cringey if one of my friends kept calling their home Surname Towers, but I wouldn't expect them to care about my opinion.

It’s not terrible but it’s a bit wierd: why are you calling it that - what’s the ‘joke’? Is it a little house? If it’s a huge big house I think people would cringe tbh. If it’s a smaller house I sort of see the joke but to do the same thing over years to the same people is a bit odd. Nothing you can do now so if just stop! x

I'd let their meanness go but I'd definitely stop saying it! It'll all blow over when they find something/someone else to pick at.

I think it's harmless.

I do think you need to be aware about how often you refer to your home as '........ Towers'
It's the frequency and the repitition that may grate on people. Putting it in a Christmas card is also slightly OTT.

Yes, I suspect there could have been a few smirks by friends and family over the years but really, if this is the worst of your foibles, then you are a decent human being.

It does sound like maybe you took it too far. Given the nastiness from your sister it might have been perceived as attempted grandiose and less of a joke… particularly if it’s gone on for some time.

I would say that it doesn’t reflect well on them the way they handled it… the word bitchy springs to mind. But it’s clear that at least a few people in your circle have not been receptive to the ‘joke’ so probably best to drop it.

This.

You’re fine, OP!

Also, the point is, it’s a running joke, they last forever! 😂

Maybe make sure you pull a slightly humorous face, raised eyebrow or something, when you name it in future to help them get the joke? 🤷‍♀️

It's cringey because you've over used it and obviously think it's a lot more 'wacky' than it is.

I mean people say it occasionally in a self deprocative way, because their house obviously isn't a 'tower '.

It's not the crime of the century though, just phase it out or own it and keep changing it ..'mansions', 'estate' , 'grounds' etc

Perfect answer - case closed.

I wouldn’t even change it to another name because what will come next is more snide comments behind op’s back like “Oh she’s now calling it Jackson Mansions/estate/grounds as if listening to Towers for years wasn’t bad enough”

Op if I was you I’d read the room and realise people have had enough of it now and just start to phase it out. It’s had its day and it’s worn thin.

I want to add that I like it, Op and might start calling my house surname mansion.

please don’t feel bad. We only have this one life. It passes relatively quickly and this brings you joy. Leave the miserable to wallow in their own misery. Who cares if they are laughing at you? At least those sad gits are laughing for a change. Keep being you.

I think this is different.

This is a bit like Jane's Kitchen on a previous post (where someone has a sign in the kitchen although she's a terrible cook in case you didn't see it).

Calling a tiny flat Surname Towers; a wall you're not happy with The Great Wall of X Street; putting up a Jane's Kitchen sign in your kitchen when your name is Jane and you can't cook is different. It's slightly self deprecating.

The joke is that a tiny flat isn't a Towers; the wall you hate isnt a world famous landmark although it feels like it should be given its prominence in your lives; it isn't Jane's Kitchen because Jane can't cook and she's rarely in it.

The people in the OP's life have become irritated by the nickname she has given her own home not because they don't have a sense of humour or because the OP thinks her house is better than anyone else's but because the joke has worn a bit thin. It's just become a bit over egged.

They're being mean! Clearly it was intended as a joke, a bit like faulty towers. It's a pet name for your house. If people don't get your humour or have sufficient time to criticise something so small and inconsequential, I would distance myself from them.