Found old messages on fiancé’s phone

[Mummymember]

I have been with my fiance for 6 years, we have a 3 year old and an 8 month old and are getting married in 7 months time.
i do not know what came over me yesterday but he left his phone on the table to take a shower and i went through one of his group chats. I found messages that he had sent of pictures of my best friends sister in a bikini and said “ i would risk it all for her 😂 ive always fancied her, its a shame i cant like the photo 🥹” there were other pictures of girls that he had sent in the group saying how good they looked in bikini pictures etc who i also know.
There were two of his other male friends in this group chat who had and still have a horrible reputations and the group chat was just disgusting how they would talk about women.
We were together 3 months when he was sending these messages but
naturally i cannot stop thinking about these messages now and feel hurt by it. We were not living together at the time etc
He is literally my soulmate and is the best partner and dad and we are such a happy family, he would do absolutely anything for me, we have never had any issues like this in our relationship he has never given me any reason not to trust him. My friends and family always say they would love for someone to treat them how he treats me.
Im annoyed at myself for going through his phone as ive always been so against doing that and I acknowledge its an invasion of privacy, its the first time i ever have since we have been together as he has never ever given me a reason to, ive just been feeling insecure recently about how i look since i had my baby and keep thinking he is to good to be true which is why i think i felt they need to go through his messages.
these messages were sent 6 years ago sg

Do i just ignore this or do i say something. I feel wrong and embarrassed if i tell him i went through his phone but also the messages are bothering me Do i ruin our happy life to say something or do i just pass it off as “ lads banter” and that that we were new in the relationship

They're SIX years old.

Blow up your relationship if you are unable to reconcile the man, you describe as your soulmate, from the result of your snooping?

"but naturally (??) i cannot stop thinking about these messages now and feel hurt by it"!!!

That way madness lies @Mummymember

Do you really never have any thoughts about how good another person looks? And that you find them attractive? All he's done is write them down to send to another person. I know why you feel uncomfortable, but I don't think he's done anything wrong in an objective sense. There's no suggestion he's cheated.

Sounds like you don't trust him I cannot imagine how long it took to read 6 years worth of a group chat! Is he still sending pics and messages with a similar theme? I think when you were in a fairly new relationship its a different situation to 6 years in

Thanks for your messages i needed to hear all of this! So just to answer most asked questions, the reason i checked his phone is because i am feeling insecure since having our second baby and keep thinking he is going to leave me although he has not done anything to make me feel like that. Ive had quite bad postpartum anxiety. I should not of checked his phone and I agree with everyone on that. I didnt scroll back from 6 years ago on messages i clicked on the group chat media and swiped through the photos on the chat, as there wasnt that many i seen the one of my best friends sister and clicked on it which took me to the messages that were sent at that time, if that makes sense!

6 years ago. Let it go.

I think if this was 6 years, 2 kids and one engagement away, and there's nothing else that has upset you, you should let it go.

I can’t say I would be delighted but it was six years ago and you had only been together 3 months. Think you should let it go.

But I would be inclined to delete the messages so he can’t keep them in his wank bank.

So you would delete things and make it obvious she went on his phone?

You didn’t check his phone.

You dug around in his messages when he’s given you no cause for suspicion.

Get assistance for your depression.
Until you do you’re driving your relationship off a Cliff all by yourself.

He’s got the whole of the internet at his disposal. He’s not going to be looking back through six years of old messages to find a tame picture he once saw of a woman in a bikini whenever he fancies a hand shandy, you know.

It’s hard.. you were in the early stages of dating so it isn’t as bad, but it is awful to realise the man you’re with is a sleaze who does the whole sharing photos with the lads thing. It changes how you feel.

You deliberately went through six years. Of messages to find something to get upset about.

Are you sure you really want to marry him?

It doesn't matter if everyone thinks he's the bees knees. You don't have to search for an excuse to call it off.

What is wrong lately with all these people snooping on phones? Don’t you understand the concept of privacy?
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. You did something which is wrong so now you deal with the consequences on your own.
Don't embarrass yourself any further by bringing this up to your fiancé as you are fully aware that it would be insane to demand explanations for something that happened so long ago.