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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Having nightmares with the ex (CMS)

12 replies

Kloo · 31/10/2025 06:27

So I had to go through CMS as I was fed up of chasing him to pay for his kids. When I last spoke to him he said he is no longer employed and is self employed? I don’t understand what difference that makes?

OP posts:
Bluestitching · 31/10/2025 06:30

Good luck getting any money out of him if he’s self employed.

if he is employed they just take it off his wages. They can’t do that in the same way if he’s self employed.

it’s a common tactic to avoid paying.

Original poster
Kloo · 31/10/2025 06:32

Can his company just change his contract? I’m not sure how it works?

so should I not expect a payment this month?

OP posts:
Bluestitching · 31/10/2025 06:34

Yes he can change his contract. It’s easy depending on the sector and organisation he works for.

I don’t know whether you will or will not get a payment this month - you really need to contact CMS and ask them.

Original poster
Kloo · 31/10/2025 06:39

Yes I will. So odd that people go to these lengths to avoid supporting their children.

OP posts:
Goodadvice1980 · 31/10/2025 08:01

Get ready for receiving £0 per month OP. This happened to my cousin. Her ex is self employed and has significant arrears and liability orders now. He is a deadbeat dad. Wish the courts would do something to hold these parents responsible.

bigboykitty · 31/10/2025 08:07

My ex's employer supported him to do this. Created a new company with him as the only employee. Disbanded the new company and enabled him to claim redundancy payment from the government. Employed him (illegally) as a freelancer working only for them. He declared his income as £16k per year and paid £70 per month maintenance. Men are cunts and will go to any lengths to avoid supporting their children financially.

Myfridgeiscool · 31/10/2025 08:13

The only way to sort this one is to get him into court with the CMS. It’ll take a lot of time though.

Original poster
Kloo · 31/10/2025 08:42

It is not up for review until next year?

OP posts:
Original poster
Kloo · 31/10/2025 17:48

Myfridgeiscool · 31/10/2025 08:13

The only way to sort this one is to get him into court with the CMS. It’ll take a lot of time though.

What do you mean?

OP posts:
Original poster
Kloo · 31/10/2025 17:49

It is obvious what he has done, he has changed his contract to avoid paying for his kids. Why else would you do it? No holiday pay/sick pay, it makes no sense to go self employed

OP posts:
Myfridgeiscool · 31/10/2025 17:58

It makes sense if he doesn’t want to pay any maintenance for his kids. He can keep his true income hidden from the CMS.
When you get your zero rate CMS calculation raise a mandatory reconsideration, then when that gets rejected start the tribunal process.
At some point, it’ll take ages, he’ll have to explain how he lives with zero/small income.

Original poster
Kloo · 31/10/2025 18:02

Myfridgeiscool · 31/10/2025 17:58

It makes sense if he doesn’t want to pay any maintenance for his kids. He can keep his true income hidden from the CMS.
When you get your zero rate CMS calculation raise a mandatory reconsideration, then when that gets rejected start the tribunal process.
At some point, it’ll take ages, he’ll have to explain how he lives with zero/small income.

He kept turning up late to pick the kids up when he was supposed to or not bothering at all, I changed it to very other weekend so that he would have to pick the kids up from school and not deal with me, on the back of that he changed his contract, it is just constant tit for tat

OP posts:
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