...to think infidelity might have caused PTSD?

[MelBrookesMyHero]

I've been struggling since my long term partner's infidelity came to light earlier this year, multiple ONS's over a period of years, the circumstances of which are so in contrast to the character I believed my partner of 17 years to be (and probably more fitting of an illicit adult movie or website). I'm experiencing these constant vivid images to the extent that they're interfering with my ability to function. I've sunk into depression, something I've never experienced before. I'm searching for, but failing to find ways to distract myself.I finally bolted from home a few nights ago and can't face going back despite my beautiful children who I love and miss so much. But I still can't escape from these images and dark dark thoughts. I haven't seen a Dr in years, haven't had cause to do so. But without wanting to sound like a drama queen, could this possibly be some form of PTSD? AIBU to think so?

Honestly forget about the partner you can NOT run out on your children this is not there fault. You are devastated yes hurt yes but not ptsd so soon and not about infidelity .Honestly go home either take the kids or kick him out ....

Yes. Infidelity is well known as a cause of PTSD. Ignore anyone who says otherwise.
Please go home to your children and get rid of your partner. And please also seek medical help and counselling to help you come to terms with it.
I am sorry he did this to you.

You absolutely can have PTSD from infidelity. The flashbacks, intrusive thoughts, depression, dreams, dark dark thoughts. You no longer have your identity, you thought you knew who you were in the world. Please get some help, find a counsellor who deals with this kind of trauma. Which it is, it’s a trauma. Also speak to your GP as you may need some medication. It’s horrendous, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

it has been established that betrayal trauma absolutely can result in c-ptsd.

sorry youre going through this. Hes a dick.

make a doctors appointment and get some help with your mental health.

go back home and see your kids. They will miss you and worry. You don’t want to upset them. They need you. It’s Halloween too so you don’t want to hahe that as an annual memory for a day that should be fun.

Get financial advice if you need it and kick that useless prick out though. He can go to his mother’s. Prick.

This is such an over-used term for one of life’s very upsetting experiences. To be diagnosed with PTSD or c-PTSD you would have to be diagnosed by a Clinical Psychologist or Psychiatrist. Not a GP or “counsellor”.

Being cheated on is horrible and you should definitely get some help, but please don’t self-diagnose this serious mental health condition. And please don’t listen to strangers on the internet diagnosing you from their armchairs!

No one is diagnosing the OP. Telling the OP that infidelity can cause C-PTSD or PTSD isn’t diagnosing.

Trauma, certainly, however, I don’t think it would satisfy Criterion A of the DSM “Criterion A (Trauma Exposure): The individual must have been exposed to actual or threatened death, serious injury, or sexual violence through direct experience, witnessing, learning it happened to a close loved one, or repeated exposure to aversive details”

I was diagnosed with PTSD by a clinical psychotherapist after infidelity (2 years after actually). I've no history of mental health problems but it massively messed me up. It's more than 'very upsetting'. EDMR helped me, and yes I did try medication too although it wasn't for me. OP please don't suffer alone, talk to someone professional. You're suffering and I'm sorry you're going through this. I promise it gets better x

This definition is from the DSM 5 which was last updated in 2013. Work is undergoing on DSM 6 currently and a separate description of C-PTSD is expected.

The ICD-11 is used by the WHO (as opposed to the DSM 5 which is US). It was last updated in 2018 and has a wider set of criteria for PTSD - "Exposure to an extremely threatening or horrific event or series of events." The discovery of multiple affairs absolutely fits this criteria and there is quite a bit of literature out there on betrayal trauma if you want to look for it.

Im no expert but I wouldn't be in the least bit surprised if you could get PTSD from that experience

How are you doing today OP?

Did you go back to your children? I hope things work out in whatever way you want for yourself and dc.

You need to pull yourself together and get back to your children. I had a parent fall apart in similar circumstances and that caused me trauma. You need to put your children first.

I disagree, there’s many saying she’s got it. It’s not helpf

Whether it’s PTSD or not you have definitely suffered a horrible heartbreak and betrayal, but you need to be there for your children.

Take a few more days out if you need to get your head together, but then go back to your kids.

A man capable of multiple ONS over a long period of time is probably not a trustworthy father either.

No, we are saying it can cause it, not saying she has it. And to seek medical help, they can diagnose it and provide appropriate treatment.

I can only speak from experience. I have been through some really horrendous relationship breakups, one in particular that I lost everything and the most awful betrayal. It hurt like hell and really
messed me up. Took me years to recocer from.

But I also suffered severe childhood neglect, grooming and repeated childhood sexual abuse from not one, but several close family members for many years. Two other random sexual assaults from strangers before the age of 12.

This is the reason for my clinical diagnosis of c-PTSD. And is why I have chronic mental health symptoms which I will never recover from.

The relationship stuff is truly awful, but there is a massive difference between the two. We shouldn’t mix up “normal” life events that let’s face it most people experience, with actual trauma in its truest sense.

Stop minimising OPs experience. there are enough clinical studies by psychologists published. just one of many examples: Dr. Omar Minwalla, a clinical psychologist and an expert in sexual health who has researched and emphasized that the trauma experienced by partners due to infidelity and associated emotional abuse/gaslighting can lead to complex PTSD.
Dr. Minwalla's work is central to understanding infidelity as a form of interpersonal trauma, often referred to as "betrayal trauma". This is distinct from typical trauma because the source of the pain is a trusted intimate partner.
He introduced the concept of "integrity abuse" to describe the intentional withholding of truth and the psychological manipulation that prevents a partner from making informed decisions about their relationship. He argues this is a significant factor in the resulting trauma. Complex PTSD Symptoms: The pattern of relational betrayal, lies, gaslighting and emotional abuse can cause symptoms similar to Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD), rather than just standard PTSD.

Learning you have been repeatedly and unwittingly exposed to risk of STDs strikes me as meeting that criteria

Op- I have /had PTSD from other causes s and it's awful and crippling but with help things can get much better I promise.

@OnlyFangsyes, that’s a really good point.

@MelBrookesMyHero regardless of the clinical specifications I really hope you have someone trustworthy with you in RL. It sounds absolutely horrific. Take care.

This. The overuse of a very serious mental health condition is very wrong. PTSD is rare and not caused by infidelity. OP you are experiencing a normal reaction to infidelity and whilst you should probably leave your marriage and see a therapist or doctor, you should not leave your children or diagnose yourself with a very rare and serious condition.

In general, mental health terms are thrown around far too much with little understanding of what they really mean. Trauma, PTSD, narcissism are all rare and devalued when they are applied so freely.

Thank you for sharing your experience and highlighting the difference between sad and difficult life events and real PTSD.

I would think it would be devastating and upsetting but I’m not sure if it would cause PTSD- you would need to be diagnosed by a qualified psychiatrist I would think.

whatever it has caused for you, you need to go back to your children though. They will need their mum