Don’t want to buy my boss a Christmas present

[Fromthediningtable]

I have received an email from a member of my team, with the rest of the team included, asking us for ideas on what we can get our manager for Christmas.

Everyone has replied with ideas but I don’t want to do this as I don’t think employees who earn a lot less money than their bosses should be buying them gifts. It’s the principle for me.

We are all doing secret Santa with a few other teams and someone from my team actually has our boss, so he is getting a present already! I messaged her privately and said I don’t want to put in this year for him and I didn’t get a response back, so I’m assuming I’m being thought of as tight or miserable or whatever. But am I unreasonable here or not?!

I've been a "boss". I would have been very embarrassed to get a present (Xmas or birthday) from my team.

I don't think you're being unreasonable to not want to put in, and I don't think they're being unreasonable for getting one (especially if they're a good boss!). I'm sure you won't be the only one who quietly declined so I wouldn't worry about it too much honestly.

I am the only one. We are a small team of 5 and everyone else replied saying “yes count me in, here’s my idea” 😬

I am with you on this. Never bought my boss a present very cringey and none I have had would want or expect one either.

That's absolutely fine, especially as the boss is already participating in secret santa. I don't understand why he/she is getting an additional gift. I'm a business owner and I don't expect anything at all from my staff, but do get them gifts.

Oh well, it is what it is. You're absolutely not wrong to not want to give, if anyone asks or prods you about it I'd just say "oh we're saving every penny this year!" and steer the conversation away.

In a workplace you should never 'gift upwards'

This isn't done in most work place and most boss would hate the idea of it.

I think you're being a bit unreasonable, unless they're asking for £50 each.

the rules you need for office gift-giving (which your coworkers are probably violating) - Ask a Manager

Tbh, when I was a boss I begrudged spending my own money on presents for my team. Sometimes I got something back, sometimes I didn't, which would be my preference. Tbh I wish I was brave enough to scrap the whole thing.

In a previous job our office Director bought everyone a bottle of wine. Quite nice actually, except that he didn't do anything different for the teetotal. And, I found out later, put it through on expenses as team building.

I was quite disappointed at that.

I'm happy with a tub of celebrations for the office, and getting to leave a few hours early on the last day.

Why didn’t you reply saying, “You must have forgotten but he’s already included in the secret Santa so no need”

Do you all get anything from the company or your boss, is your boss particularly supportive of his/her team? Do you feel appreciated or do you all do the hard work while your boss takes the credit? All these things would be a deciding factor as to whether I wanted to participate or not although I would not speak out I would just do it even if it was begrudgingly.

Whatever the dynamics in your team you don't want to participate and well done for speaking up and saying so. I wouldn't have the guts

Does your manager buy you gifts?
I buy gifts for my team and spend about £40-50 and my team buy me a gift that probably costs similar. They put in £5 each more or less and I spend about £5 each on them. It's not an expectation but it is a nice thing to do at Christmas and everyone enjoys it. You don't have to by any means but if he buys gifts for you all and you like him then viewing it as he earns more than you might not be the full picture.

I think if you don’t want to chip in for a gift then you shouldn’t have to. But I don’t agree with your view that in principle you don’t want to because they earn more than you.

in my last workplace the director bought each person in her team something - it was something like a mini bottle of M&S prosecco plus a personalised bauble (she loved Christmas). I guess maybe £10 per person max. There were five of us.

So if we each chipped in £2 we could have collectively bought her a gift of roughly the same value.

So, chip in for the gift or don’t - it’s up to you - but the boss’ salary alone shouldn’t stop you from doing so in my opinion

Generally bosses buy their employees presents!

100% agree. I’m the boss and I give my team small gifts. They shouldn’t give me one.