Do I give the socks?

[pussinwellyboots]

I’m one of the leaders of a beaver scout colony - and I thought it would be nice to give each of the adult/young leader volunteers a small token gift at Christmas, so I’ve bought them each a pair of rainbow scout socks. However I now realise that they are scout pride socks, and whilst I am supportive of scouts supporting pride, I don't want to cause offence either to the recipient.

can I have a vote as to whether I should give the socks?

yes - YABU - socks in a rainbow colour may cause offence to the recipient

no - YANBU - they are scout socks in nice bright colours and would be a nice token gift for a volunteer.

If my son came home with these i would burn them. I don't want inclusivity with men in dresses threatening to kill terfs and all other problematic behaviour. I wouldn't want my son involved. I will teach him to be kind and inclusive on a level that is appropriate to his age and understanding. I would thank you politely, but dispose once home. Maybe better to get something else and let people choose their own political standing and stay away from the flag. It's a really kind thought, but not well thought through

That’s an awful thing to say. Remember, this gift is from a volunteer leader to young adult leaders so your son would be at least 18 by this point and able to make his own decisions (and yes I’ve already stated I’m on the fence 😂)

Give the socks. Don’t monitor if people wear them.

I’m not saying nobody could be offended - but any gift you give could offend people. Unless you know it’s upset or offend members, don’t stress it.

if you’re really worried you could get some plain ones and do a “rainbow or plain” question when giving them out - and hope enough people choose rainbow.

I wouldn't.

I have, in the past been happy to wear pride colours, seeing it as a mark of inclusivity (and how can you argue with that?), but I don't think that's what it is now.

I wouldn't be offended to be given them and might even wear than as colourful comfy socks, but I wouldn't want to support "the cause" by buying and giving them.

Hopefully they can be returned.

Let's hope he doesn't grow up wanting to transition then.

@pussinwellyboots - Sorry, but this did make me chuckle. I think you'll have to keep the socks. They are a statement and an odd one to send randomly for Christmas... Oh dear 🤣

At least it is early days and I hope you can afford suitable replacements!

Ohhh i see.. I didn't read the age properly! Well i still personally wouldn't be impressed but if my son, at 18, came home and then wore them then it's his choice.

If he wanted to transition, then I have failed.. I will always teach my son to be kind, but with a firm grip of reality. I would worry for his mental health if he wanted to transition. Anyway don't want to derail.

If for young adults, it's fine, they can wear them or not. I would not have gone for such a polarising gift but giving any gift is lovely

Thank you for saying properly what i was trying and failing to explain.

It's not about inclusivity anymore. Im all for accepting and loving and including people but the rainbow isn't used for that anymore.

Fair enough - so no “Pride socks roasting on an open fire, Jack Frost nipping at your nose” in your house now? 😂

😂😂 Noooo. I was probably a bit harsh, but that's more directed at the people using the flag for their own nefarious reasons rather than to symbolise inclusivity, which I'm all for. So for that i am sorry it was an unkind comment.

I would probably accept the gift with the grace and intention and kindness with which it was given, and accidentally lose reclaim the rainbow with them.

Rainbows are lovely. The socks are lovely, politics aside

Don’t give them, they look incredibly naff and also like they would be really itchy as well.

The whole LGB movement has been harnessed by the big corporates and also the lunatic Trans elements so it certainly does not represent me as a lesbian.

Why does everything have to be celebrated and supported it is really rather tiresome. What happened to a good old fashioned inner struggle, thinking we would burn in hell and a heaped spoonful of Catholic guilt thrown into the mix. Somebodies sexuality - which is what the Pride flag was for rather than a delusional gender ideology, doesn’t have to be the only facet to their personality although for a lot of people it is front and centre in place of a personality.

I’m finding it hard to understand how you bought bright rainbow socks and then ‘realised’ they were pride related.

I wouldn't give them. Not because I would personally take offence, but because in this day and age everyone seems to find a way to take offence at something, and I genuinely think you'd get attacked by parents for 'pushing an agenda'. It's sad but it's the world we live in.

Anyone offended by a rainbow needs to give their head a wobble. It's a great gift, on theme and if any volunteers working with children feel that strongly against rainbows or pride they shouldn't be working with children imo

As a scout leader, my scouts would LOVE these! They are a bunch of mostly boys 10-14 and 3 girls, and I can tell you rainbows are our favourite colours! We have a saying “colour it rainbow because then it’s everyone’s favourite colour”

Thanks for all the comments - good to hear that generally not a suitable gift -so I will return/ find someone appropriate to pass on to! don’t worry wasn’t intending to give socks to children (6-8 year old kids would not appreciate socks of any type!!!) I really love the bright rainbow colours so find it tricky needing to consider what statement I might be making.

Why is that an awful thing to say? I don't want inclusivity with men in dresses threatening to kill terfs and all other problematic behaviour. There is no lie here. This is what Pride as a political movement has become.

The young people I know very much know it’s political.

No, don’t give the socks OP, get your money back.

I think she meant my burn them comment which was a bit dramatic.

But it gave me a visceral reaction as a mother, anyone giving my son these type of things, given what the flag NOW represents.

It is LGB. Im all for it. They fought hard for it.

But re the "T" i will be kind insofar as day to day interactions. I would never be cruel unnecessarily. However i will not ever associate myself or my son with these people, the activists I mean.

What was once a hard won beautiful symbol of actual pride, which i was fully on board with, is now the thing that makes me as a mother react so viscerally (is that even a word?)

I find that sad

As an Explorer leader I recently had a similar conversation about white poppies with another Explorer leader. We decided against it, as pp, we shouldn’t push our political opinions on our young people.

We are planning to use them as the basis of wider discussion about personal beliefs and faith though.

I hate that this is even a question, dd loves rainbows and I dislike that the image and colour have become political. I use them in defiance of that, I have nothing against pride, I just want to be able to use rainbow colours again in a non political way. I think I'd probably be too worried to give them.