AIBU to think WTF were the parents thinking?

[JakeyRolling]

DS (7) had his school Halloween disco last night.

Amongst the usual questionable costumes (Squid Games guards, tiny cheerleaders outfits Etc… The kind I wouldn’t do and I can’t understand why a parent would but not inherently problematic) there was one kid in a Santa outfit with a scary pointy “blood” splattered mask and a stabbing knife. (The mask is similar to the pic)
Quite apart from the fact the school has a “no masks” policy, this was for the P1-3 age group so the oldest kid was no more than 9 and therefore many kids are still believers.

DS is autistic and was a bit upset by it and we had to explain several times it was a costume.

AIBU in being pissed at the parents?

No but if we are watching movies as a family we would be on one of the adult Netflix pages and they could see then. Its pretty hard to shelter kids from absolutely any inappropriate imagery so I would rather just explain it to them in a way that removes the scary. Eg for michael myers I will talk about the fact its a William Shatner mask which got spray painted and I will tell them the name of the stunt person wearing the mask etc. I watch ALOT of horror and the kids ask me questions which I answer in ways like the above, so they dont find this stuff scary.

Of course it looks like harmless fun.

You wouldn’t participate if you saw the reality behind the mask.

Opening doors to these entities is extremely dangerous.
Don’t say nobody told you.
I’ll leave it there.

I simply don't see the danger. Children, adults and families have celebrated Halloween for years.
Most haven't dropped dead.

God no. Thats too much.

I have helped at too many pta run discos and we have guidelines but we can’t actually take things off of children. Can’t touch them to start with but also have no power to confiscate. I think in this scenario we’d need the parent to do it themselves and if they refused… genuinely no idea what we’d do. And I could absolutely see plenty refusing.

my daughter just couldn’t cope with Halloween when she was younger. The fake blood was really hard for her as she has a lot of health related anxiety. Now she loves it all at 12 but did not until maybe p5 or so.

my son’s friends love all the chaos and he’s right there with them.

I remember a few years ago half my daughter’s friends were characters from stranger things and I had no idea what any of them were. I wouldn’t have recognised this character either.

I can respect this take on it tbh but can’t respect the idea that it’s fine to dress up as a vampire/ghost/ghoul etc but a scary Santa is somehow unacceptable.
So your child finds spooky Santa scary? Some kids find the traditional vampire costumes scary, you’re either for dressing up in a scary costume or against it.

Halloween is named from All Hallow's Eve which is a Christian festival celebrating the dead
It also coinsides/was deliberately timed at the same time with Samhain which is also not about the occult but again celebrating the dead and hiding from evil spirits and marking the end of Harvest

Why? You're running it and have stated the rules

Just give it back at the end

I maintain that Halloween is about being scared. The photo I saw was mildly scary out of context ( I do not know what the context of the character is and neither should any of the children if it is that bad).
Halloween is actually a solemn religious event where we honour the dead who have died during the previous year. But then no one remembers that bit.

Thankyou. You’ve put it much better than I did.

Personally my child's school tell you no clowns no adult themes etc my son goes in a onsie he is currently dressed all in black jump scaring anyone walking past then giving them sweets he loves this time of year

No it isn't - the religious festival honouring the departed is all soul's day, which is two days after Halloween.

Thank you for the warning @AnotherDayAnotherStart. I’ll get straight onto the phone to my sister in law. She’s taking her girls to a cheer competition tomorrow and I don’t think she’s packed their passports. Who knew West London had been annexed as the 51st state?! 🤷‍♀️

Halloween originated in Ireland and is very specific as the eve of All Souls day and is to do with spirits and souls that are trapped between this life and the next and earthy people that have connections with them and the undead. So it's ghosts, witches, their cats, and other undead and spiritual characters in Irish folklore like banshees. It has absolutely nothing to do with serial killers of young women and children, horror films of teens being stalked and mutalated, nothing to do with depicting historical criminals or Holywood characters. It shows a complete lack of imagination and understanding of what the night actually is to dress 8 year olds up in these costumes.
The children wouldn't have a clue what they are depicting when they dress up as jack the ripper or some character from an 18 horror film, nor should they.

The difference is we are not telling 6/7/8-year-olds that vampires are real.

For many kids that age Santa very much IS real

More than that, vampires and ghosts etc are known to be scary by nature even if we can present them in a child friendly way. In those costumes, it's the innate scariness we've taken out. Santa isn't supposed to be scary by nature, quite the opposite; it's the innate niceness taken out. A kiddie vampire is a non scary version of a scary thing; an evil Santa is a scary version of a non scary thing, and that makes a difference.

I was terrified of Santa as a child, as it happens, but I wasn't supposed to be!

A lot of people also tell their kids ghosts are real. Why make what was meant to be the presence of a dead relative into a scary costume?

I think that because some children and most adults think these are not real, they think everyone else must think the same as them. They don’t.

Many times, when reading fictional stories in class, children ask me if it’s real/true. This is 9/10 year olds. At that age, some children are still developing their understanding of the world and that includes distinguishing between fantasy and reality.

Maybe so, but they really should be taught from the start that these things are just story characters. That they can be spooky or scary or fun or whatever but they are not real. People and animals are real. So there's no need to be frightened of them in real life. Only as part of a game or fantasy play.

I know kids need to be 'scared' of things in a 'safe' way to manage danger etc I guess.

But I just think at 9 they're thinking Dracula or whoever is coming for them in the night it should be knocked on the head.

@DiscoBob
Children can cope with the Hotel Transylvania cartoon type films. It’s a safe way for them to explore horror. Same as scooby doo when I was a kid.
But the alternative reality kind of horror from the likes of Pennywise they can’t always get their heads around.
Anyone who works in a school will tell you about both the clown hysteria and Momo and how it can seriously cause a lot of anxiety for children.

My DD is on the cheer squad at uni. There are many boys/men on the squad too. I think the stereotype is that this is a female discipline so I’m pleased to see more and more men joining the teams. They take part in competitions against other unis around the country. Train hard and have to reapply each year to get picked for the squads.

They do cheer the uni sports teams, both men’s and women’s sports teams I might add.

I suppose it’s more a form of competitive dance/gymnastics but I don’t see anything wrong with keeping the cheer title as the routines are performed as a ‘cheer’ for the uni.

edited to add: when they cheer for the sports teams, they are the ‘warm up act’ so to speak! To get the crowd excited for the game and to support the team and to represent the university.

Thank you. Yeah I can imagine that stuff is just scary regardless. And they're too young to reason that they don't exist. I mean Pennywise is meant to scare adults!

How depressing. Why would people import cheerleading to the UK?
Its dangerous at higher levels (older girls with the throws and so on - horrible, horrible injuries happen) and sexist and demeaning by it's very nature, with it's entire core principle being girls/ women= supporting act to cheer for boys/ men. Yes, a few boys cheerlead but that doesn't change that dynamic.

Halloween does equal horror though if someone chooses. Though, I did see a tiktok the other day that someone took their kid to a Halloween party and saw 2 girls dressed as zombies..m wearing man United t shirts 😭 she asked if they were Holly and jessica, nope just zombie footballers. I don't know how the parents didn't think that through.

Plenty of boys and men cheer

As mentioned above, several US presidents were cheerleaders

It's not inherently sexist and demeaning and relegating women to a support act

And all high level sports carry a risk of serious injury