Firstly I didnt know where to post this. I know im not being unreasonable but I desperately need some advice.
Quick back story. Split with abusive ex when DS was 6 months. DS is now 9. Ex is highly manipulative and emotionally abusive. No doubt that he is a huge narc.
Uses DS to get at me through various ways. Makes it all about himself with DS e.g ive had such a bad day, ive got a headache, I don't feel well etc.
So DS has had medical issues since a baby. Ex always tried to gaslight me that I was over reacting. Ds has always had bad reflux to the point he used to choke on it when asleep and breathe it in causing chest infections and overall illness. We were in hospital numerous times, Ex never took it seriously. Never gave his medication regularly. I had DS majority of the time until 2 years ago when Ex dragged me through court and got 50/50. Tricked everyone to think i was unreasonable and the bad guy and he just wanted to be a "good dad".
It actually started because I went directly through child maintenance as he lied about what he earned and I had safeguarding concerns.
Anyway thats the backstory. DS still has reflux issues. Don't think Ex takes it seriously still. We are awaiting a hospital appointment next week to try and get to the bottom of it all. Ex also has some reflux type issues so actually knows all about food triggers etc.
I've tried to give him a good diet with low fat and processed stuff. Lots of veg and fruit. Given him multi vitamins etc.
I asked DS what kind of food he has at his dad's. He said takeaways, he had a share box to himself of halloumi fries, lots of chocolate which is a trigger and god knows what else. He also gives him no multi vitamin.
DS said to me he feels his reflux has got worse over the past month and I think its because his dad is feeding him absolute rubbish. Ds always comes back to me shattered and poorly.
Thing is how do I prove all of this. He is neglecting him. Medically and emotionally. If I try and talk to him I feel he does the complete opposite to spite me even if its not in DS best interest.
All services in the past have failed me. They believe ex over me and think im the "uptight" one. When in actual fact im just trying to get help for my DS medical issues.
I dont know what to do. Any advice welcome please. From a desperate mum!