To have told DH to help or leave me alone

[Porlothepoorpenguin]

Okay mostly light hearted but DH seems to have taken it to heart.
I have 2 children who are 3 and 5, and an annual tradition of for Halloween I make some toffee apples and Scottish tablet. As of yet I don’t have the kids help with this, when they are older I’m sure I will but it’s the only part of Halloween I actually enjoy and I find dealing with anything hot or time sensitive it’s easier to do it when the kids aren’t around.
This afternoon my lovely MIL had my 3 year old as I work half days and DD is only in nursery half days. I sorted all the toffee apples and was rather pleased with myself. This evening I did the kids bath and bed while DH went to tennis and got ready to make the tablet.
My DH is like a toddler at times, if you don’t give him something to do it will be chaos. So I asked him very kindly to wrap the apples from earlier in cellophane, then put them with a little chocolate bar and some sweets into a bag to be handed out on Friday. I also asked him to make some allergy safe bags as I always make it clear the homemade stuff isn’t from an industrial kitchen so if you have any allergies probably best avoided and make a couple of options that are either dairy free or nut free etc.
Anyway it’s now 10pm, my tablet is setting, and he’s wrapped exactly one apple! I asked why exactly and he told me he got distracted writing Halloween jokes to put in each bag, which is fine and lovely and I’m all for it. So I sat down to wrap the apples and DH decided it would be the perfect time to tell me all the jokes he’s come up with and not actually help. So I said in a slightly joking but with an undertone that was maybe a little harsh “if you’re not going to help me can you leave me alone”. He has now gone off to sulk in the corner and when I offered him a glass of wine remarked that wouldn’t be helpful would it. Then he came back to the table and I told him before he helps again can he please wash his hands and he snapped saying “if you’re going to boss me around I’ll just go to bed”.

Now we rarely argue so while it is lighthearted in it started out of nothing, was I a little unfair? Did I take the joy out of the occasion? Was I unreasonable to say what I did?

I know I’m completely missing the point of the thread but I’m amazed at the amount of effort you’re putting into this for kids you don’t know (?) Just get a bag of celebrations and be done with it.

I agree. Most parents won’t want their kids eating home made treats.

In my area at least one house a year makes candy apples, I don’t think any of the parents have an issue letting their kids have them!

OP’s in Scotland - guising an’ a’ that. You swap jokes and songs at the threshold, with the revellers disguised for the fun of it on this special night.

I do t think you were out of order. DP drives me mad when I’m doing something and he’s pestering. If I just want to get it done either help or leave me to it, it wouldn’t have been an issue if he could multitask I’m sure.

I applaud you for still being able to shag someone you have to treat like a child, I think my vagina would leave the country if my husband behaved like this. Having to tell a grown man to please wash his hands (and him having a tantrum about it!) is truly wild 🙃

I also applaud you for having the energy to make up fancy bags like that, I bet your house is popular! The ones with homemade toffee apples were always the favourite when I was wee.

Hmmm. I can’t stand faffers and would find his distraction and inefficiency very annoying. But the sort of snapping you did isn’t nice and I can see why he was upset, he was sort of helping and presumably you know what he’s like.

Team DH. Not sure why him telling jokes meant you couldn't wrap apples. Surely it would have passed the time more pleasantly.

If man did this it would be rsdflags all over it

And another unnecessary job a woman does that they dont need too so I hope this is not added to 'i do everything'

You said to him: "If you’re not going to help me can you leave me alone”.

He didn't wrap stuff, but he got into the whole vibe by writing little jokes.

Why don't you have a conveyor belt that plays to both your strengths?

They could be for a party or nieces and nephews for all we know.

Why are you treating your husband like a child?

Hmm, going against the grain here. I would have found the whole situation fun. Me wrapping the apples, DH telling jokes, both of us having a glass of wine and a laugh. One of those fond memories that would stay with me.

But I do applaud the effort you go to, just make sure it doesn't become a chore.