Taking the dog

[Ruinthefriendship]

I have decided things are over with DP after a long time of turmoil. I need to have the conversation but I plan to move out in a few weeks as don't feel we can cohabit after I tell him. He's been pretty fucking awful throughout the relationship and I don't like how he treats our dog.

I have spent months tearing myself apart of working out how to take the dog but everything's in his name. I do most of the actual care of the dog but he pays the bills from his account even though I transfer half. I know legally I probably don't have a leg to stand. I want to just take her with me anyway? What can I realistically do? He's been very forceful with the dog in the past, pinning her down and smacking her so I don't want to leave her. I'm at the point of giving up my investment in the house as a bargaining tool so I can just take her with me but know he will use it against me as he knows how important she is.

Well i agree with you that you can't leave the dog with him.
But I think you should take the dog and then definitely seek legal advice as to your rights re the house.
If you do the actual day to day care of the dog he very likely won't want to take this on himself and so may not challenge you on this.

You should probably check if you can take legally , but bills for the dog I'm assuming you mean insurance and vets? Start new accounts in your name and get the hell out taking the dog with you. Never let him hurt that dog again .

is the dogs microchip in his name?

Take your dog and deal with the repercussions but do not give her back and do not under any circumstances leave her with this animal abuser. And both of you leave ASAP. Hopefully he won’t be bothered about fighting it.

Yes ☹️ there's a very personal and outing reason why everything is in his name but it's not because he cares for her so it's very hard

I would just take the dog and see what happens then. He may not care if you have left as well

Take her anyway ❤️

What's best for the both of you is for you to stay together.

Pet abduction is not made out in cases where you have both previously lived with a dog, therefore you won’t be committing any crime by taking the dog with you.

https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2024/16/notes/division/6/index.htm

Please take the dog. Don’t leave an innocent animal with someone who doesn’t treat them with care.

I was able to change the details on my dogs microchip after splitting up with my ex-husband. It’s all a bit of a blur now, but managed it. Also, despite saying he’d never let me take the dog- he did.
I think when someone is used to having a skivy to do all the walking/feeding/care of a dog, they do realise on reflection that they might not be able to handle the work by themselves.

wishing you and the dog a better future.

Do not leave this dog alone with a man who you’ve seen has treated it violently.

Who acquired the dog? Was it before or after you got together as a couple? Was the dog paid for or adopted, and by whom?

Its a common misconception that the microchip registration is proof of legal ownership. This is not the case. It's similar to a car registration document in naming the "keeper" rather than the owner. Proof of ownership generally involves proof of purchase, who pays for the pet's needs, who the pet is registered under at the vets.

Hopefully you can sort this OP.

I'd just take the dog and don't let slip how much you are worrying about it or your emotions around it because it sounds like he will use that against you and want the dog out of spite. So just take the dog in a matter of fact kind of way and don't mention it unless he raises it.

My dd left her ex and took his ddog.. She changed the chip details at a new vet... No issues. Tell him she dropped it at a shelter...

That’s a fantastic answer!

If he’s violent with the dog, he could be with you too, if he hasn’t already? If you tell him you’re leaving are you sure he won’t turn violent on you?

I definitely think you and the dog need to leave, but for your safety, you could consider making a plan to leave him and taking the dog, that doesn’t involve any discussion with him.

I left, took my dog and his dog. Nothing happened. Didn’t even think of the chip!
No way was I leaving her with him.

Please please do not leave her take her with you and deal with the consequences after

Yes, please just take her. How awful. Possession is 9/10's of the law as they say.

Speak to women’s aid for help too

Do not leave without the dog.

I think you should leave the dog at a family members/friends or something and have the chat away from the house. Arrange to meet him after work or out. Do it in a way it is not obvious the dog is gone. Also remove anything important you have from the house a few days before. Just make sure it is all somewhere else. Then once you have told him do not go back to the house until its time to get the rest of your things at a later date. As long as you have the dog and your valuables or stuff thats important to you, it is all good. You got this OP. Do NOT use the house as a bargaining chip immediately. Just wait. You deserve what is rightfully yours. Xx

Take her and just lie and say you rehomed her

By law, does are considered assets similar to the sofa or fridge. Time to change the law, but currently, that's how it stands.

Ownership os therefore mainly based on who paid to buy the dog (with evidence). The name the dog is registered under, who pays the vet bills etc...will add or weaken the above.

Ultimately, if you take the dog, he could take you to court. If he can evidence that the payment for the dog came from his account, that the microchip is under his name...you would likely be ordered to return the dog to his 'owner'. Of you can make a strong case of abuse, a judge might, possibly, be able to make a different judgement but I would expect you would need very strong evidence for it to be even considered.

Don't use the investment in the house as a bargaining tool. You need to be strong on this, you can't negotiate with a thug, if he thinks you're on the ropes or smells weakness he'll exploit it. Take the dog with you and play tough.

Just because you aren't married doesnt mean you can't talk to a solicitor for advice.amd I asked for lots of advice from mine around my dog, they didn't think it was silly at all.

They can also write a letter for you to give to him setting out your terms of the split so you don't have to enter into discussions around the practicalities.