AIBU to think my orthodontist was rude?

[FairTaupeSwan]

Dear Mumsnet,
Ive (F19) posted on here before related to university stuff, but I need advice whether this orthodontist was rude.

My brace bracket broke two weeks ago and I thought to leave it as I had a orthodontist appointment soon. I also go university away from my home city, I was drowning in assessments, tutor meetings and work (I desperately need money for rent) so I wasn’t very keen to go back and fourth just to fix my bracket especially as my next appointment was soon during reading week.

I went to the orthodontist today and I told her my brackets broke and she said sarcastically said “Fine if you want braces for more than two years or if you want holes in your teeth if you just keep breaking them without getting fixed” etc. in the tone you would speak to a Year 9 kid for being late on the morning, while I was in the middle of saying I go uni outside of the city, I can’t keep coming back (for the reasons above, also the coach + train costs adds up) and I had an appointment anyways. I tried to explain to her these reasons but she just kept speaking over me on her rant so I gave up and just got in the chair anyways. She also tells me off for drinking (?? I’m an adult, at uni in the UK, I fear this is just common behaviour) because of my braces.

But I’ve always been very honest with my dentist (when I had worse issues with my teeth) & doctors with my health and they’ve never reprimanded me when something happened or spoken to be in a condescending tone.

AIBU to think she shouldn’t have told me off and she was rude?

I should also point out by the way I do not drink often (especially for a uni student), and nobody has told me off for drinking with braces on.

Why do you think you might not be reasonable?

I don't really understand?

Ive had 2 teens with braces. I've found them to be very abrupt. We lost one elastic on way home from a fitting. I didnt think too much of it as we had another appt in 2 weeks. I was made out to be the worst parent bearing in mind they are 40+ miles away.

Sorry, what part do you not understand? I don’t know why it might not be reasonable, I’m wondering whether it’s normal to be berated like a child by a orthodontist when I’m an adult.

It is often like that. Was she able to fix it? If so move on and make sure you keep up your hygiene and diet guidelines

My daughter’s orthodontist was also incredibly rude and her friends have had similar complaints about theirs.

It sounds like she didn’t get her points across in the best manner, so I understand why you are upset. She could have been more polite. But she was correct in what she was saying.

My understanding of a broken bracket is that it needs immediate attention (like ideally within 24 hours) not wait for two weeks until your next scheduled appointment.

Drinking is worse for your teeth because you have braces so can’t clean around the brackets - it doesn’t matter that it’s common for uni students to drink. In my day we were told very clearly not to drink Coke, it was one of the only banned substances. I actually did have a few permanent black marks on my teeth when my braces were removed despite mostly following the rules - I had my braces on for 6 years in total due to house moves which obviously isn’t common and I know that wouldn’t have helped. But it would have been much worse if I hadn’t mostly followed the rules.

AIBU to think she shouldn’t have told me off and she was rude?

Sorry, I didn't understand this question ^^ really.

Why would you be unreasonable to not want to be told off and spoken down to?

It’s for this reason I go to a dentist who literally speaks no English. I can even hear he is still being rude to me but fortunately I can’t understand a word he is saying.

I understand that and I understand drinking isn’t great for braces. But to expect me to come immediately to the clinic after I’ve broken them when I live quite far away at uni and I have a lot of commitments back there to stick to and berate me when I can’t visit (whilst I was explaining that I live far away in a polite tone while she told me off loudly) is a bit unreasonable. As much as I would actually like them fixed, it’s hard for me to go back outside of reading week and holidays.

I’m not sure, but judging by the votes a lot of people thought it was reasonable though

I guess you're stuck with them unless you can simply switch to a different orthodontist?

Just ignore their lacking bedside manner. Just plainly say you got there as soon as possible and obviously didn't break it, it broke. It's his equipment failing unless you started attacking them with pliers?

My dentist just fixed one of my composites that has broken, Free of charge. No judgement. Not accusatory, like, 'oh you broke it.' Just it's broken so I'll fix it now. That's the kind of manner I'd be expecting from a dental professional. Helpful and non judgemental.