AIBU to challenge security over feeling ‘profiled’…for a pram?

[noodlebugz]

Hi - that’s it really…
Im noticing it more and more and it’s making me more and more annoyed.
When I’m out with my children and using the pushchair I constantly feel followed round the shop by security - boots and the supermarket seem particularly bad for this (though it’s also happened in John Lewis).
When I’m alone it just doesn’t happen.
For the record and complete transparency I haven’t stolen anything, the toddler successfully took a jelly pot from sainsburys the other day but as he’s also turned into a kleptomaniac at nursery - I took it back and asked them to have a word - as it’s frustrating and embarrassing to have to return stuff all the time (including other kids special teddies, signs that belong on the walls etc - all found in the nursery bag).
Its making me a) want to challenge them
and b) not want to shop there anymore - which would probably be self defeating.

I guess I realise this is minor and not really comparable to the profiling / assumptions made about whole groups of people such as young black men who are stopped and searched so much more often etc, which is really very serious.

YABU - suck it up buttercup they’re just doing their job. The pram isn’t forever.

YANBU - it’s a way of transporting your kid not a vehicle in a criminal enterprise - challenge away!

Please excuse any spelling / grammar - I’m on the bus on the way home from one of these shops and am dyslexic!

My friend worked in retail 30+ years ago before going to university.

I recall uer telling me they were told to always keep an eye on prams because they were known to be one of the main tools of shoplifting.

It's not new and it's not you.

I can honestly say I’ve never seen a security person following anyone in a supermarket, but I have seen them monitoring the security screen at the front of the store. I was in Sainsburys trying to get a signal so I could log into the app and do the scanning thingy for my shopping. I was stood near the door next to the security guards who were watching someone on the screen and talking about the person stealing.
Most of the big stores know who the shoplifters are - they really don’t target mums with pushchairs unless you’ve already been clocked for shoplifting.

I remember back in the stone age with my first DC and I wanted to see if the big multi pack of nappies would fit under my pram before buying them (Boots as it happens!). I explained to the security guard and said I just wanted to check they fit and he laughed "I would only care if you tried to leave the shop"

@Hardhats Once in nearly 6 years since I first became a parent has one of them stolen a 70 pence jelly which we took back to the shop. Not that shop today.

@nomas Id just like to be monitored as often as someone who’s not a known shop lifter and is just going about their business. Not followed about. That I do feel entitled to really as I’ve done nothing wrong.

Rest assured there has been plenty of parenting going around the toddlers klepto phase and I wondered if the shop playing along and saying next time we’ll call a police man or something like that in addition to all the we don’t steal, x y z, emptying the nursery bag and having him put / give it back - explaining the consequences and how people feel being stolen from. Perhaps next time don’t immediately be so rude FFS!

I hate that this is true.

What possible evidence can you claim to have that she does not "parent her child". FFS.

I stole stickers from a shop as a child. I assure you I had parents. Two in fact. Good ones.

They also taught me not to randomly bully strangers on the internet.

This reminds me of a time way back in 2004 when I’d been to a work meeting in London. It was near Bond Street, so on my way to the tube I popped into Fenwicks. I was looking at the bag section and had a large bag with me that contained my laptop. I suddenly overheard an exchange between a nearby security guard and a sales assistant, saying “blonde bob, plainly dressed, large bag…” and realised they were talking about me.

It was obviously because I had a large open bag that could have fitted a ££££ handbag, but what I was most annoyed about was the “plainly dressed” description - I was in head to toe Jigsaw ffs!!

As said above - prams and pushchairs are, and have been for years, well known shoplifting tools

Here's your evidence. She is expecting Sainsbury’s to have a word with her child.

I took it back and asked them to have a word - as it’s frustrating and embarrassing to have to return stuff all the time

And someone having a different opinion to you is not bullying 🙄

Brilliantly put. It's a sad reflection on society that criminals have no qualms about using children and children's equipment as part of their lawbreaking.

They follow pushchairs because it's easy to hide things and they've had theft issues in the past. I never took offence, it's not that much the person who they profile but the item.

And you've just proven them right!

Exactly. I was out with SIL when DNeice was a baby and we got stopped and searched coming out of Boots. This was over 30 years ago.

We hadn't stolen anything of course but it's always been well known.

Saw a mother caught shoplifting the other day. She had an open pack of nappies wedged in the hood on the pushchair. She'd been stuffing make up items in between the nappies in the pack.

It's not just you they watch....they watch other people as well....even those without buggies.

In our local Aldi, if you go through the self checkout, the staff ask to check your buggy basket as standard for everyone. Yes its a bit annoying, but they are doing their job and shoplifting pushes up prices for everyone so I cant get too worked up about it.

@Poppins2016what is a red flag about someone’s appearance?

I live in a very middle class area in France, not the kind of place many people would need to be stealing but all the supermarket including Lidl, Intermarché and Carrefour check my pushchair when I check out. It’s just procedure. I don’t find it offensive. I imagine it’s the same for the security staff following you, just doing their job and keeping an eye on the person with the means to hide things.

I haven't met a toddler who steals no

It's not just 'we want to check you've not stolen anything', but also to deter the people who do, because they will see those stores checking customers bags etc so will be put off from trying.

I would contact the police. It sounds very likely that this person has stolen the ID.

Wrong thread?