Inviting kids from the other class to birthday parties

[Prosiey]

My DS is 5, he just started school this year and I’m already feeling a little fatigued with birthday parties. His school has 2 classes of 12 children per year, many of the children might know each other from the pre-school but my son didn’t go to the pre-school. Only PE, Swimming, and Forest School are taught to the two classes together.

This weekend we have another party invite, in a town 30 minutes away, for a child DS doesn’t even really remember, I’ve never spoken to her parents, and she’s not in the same class as DS.

Obviously we are going to go as I don’t want DS to feel like he’s missing out especially if it ends up spoken about at school, but between Halloween, Bonfire night and a child we don’t knows birthday party the whole weekend will be busy now.

I don’t really understand why parents invite children from the other class? Fair enough if you know that child from pre-school but for the most part if you don’t why invite them?

AIBU?

If there is only 24 kids total its no different then inviting the whole class people tend to either invite a couple of kids or the whole class as to not leave anyone out

They are small classes - most are 28/30

we had a 3 class intake so 90 kids

at that age most people invite whole class so 24 for the whole year is less then a usual number in a class for an average school

Maybe they thought "obviously" they'll invite the whole year just like you thought "obviously" I'll take him. Or they were just being generous with invitations - people often are when children are so little. Maybe they didn't want your own to "miss out" just like you don't want him to.

It was just an invitation. Decline it next time.

I do hear what you're saying but that's only 24 in the year, likely the parent has thought they've just started school and we don't want to leave anyone out so invited the whole class. TBH I think that's the nicer way to do it at that age than having children feeling left out.
These things are an effort, totally appreciate that but I do think it's hugely important for your child that you go.

My kids were in classes of 30 and Reception was a series of whole class parties. Often if it is a hall you figure you might as well invite everyone. If you only invite 12 and some decline it might be a small party. Other venues often have minimum numbers. However more than that they are probably just being kind. You say you are taking your DC so he isn't disappointed at missing out when at school, but would prefer he wasn't invited, but then he would still potentially be missing out. You can absolutely decline some of the invitations that aren't convenient for you.

If their child has some friends across both classes they would look like they were excluding the few in the other class that their child didn’t know. It’s only 24 for the party, so not many.

If you have an issue with it, just say no.

What’s so hard to understand??
You invite your DC’s whole class of 12. Then from the other class maybe your DC plays a lot with 2 of them (presumably the year group of 24 have playtimes together and some shared lessons), maybe they were at nursery with 3, 1 is your neighbour and voila you’re at the half the class so may as well invite the rest rather than leave out 6 because 24 is a pretty small number, less than your typical state school class.
If it doesn’t work for you and/or DC doesn’t really know the kid then just decline.

Probably because 24 is fewer than the usual 30 in total. People tend to invite everyone in reception to be friendly, break the ice, be nice etc. If you’re not bothered about those things, decline.

Maybe because they didnt want to leave anyone out! You dont have to go but you are as you dont want your child missing out. If your kid wasn't invited and all his friends are talking about it, you'd be annoyed.

And its only one weekend so I think youre just being a bit whiney!

Depend on the culture of the school. At DD’s primary whole class parties weren’t a thing so parties were just her friends - maybe 8 or 10 at the most.

In my experience large whole class / whole year / mix of both parties only happen in Reception, and then as the children create more solid friendship groups, the parties get smaller and smaller. It probably won’t be a problem for long OP.

Have you heard of….. playtime and lunchtime? Also I’m willing to bet that the classes are together informally a lot more frequently than you know. You’re a major Scrooge.

not ‘obvious’ that you’re going to attend. It’s an invite not a summons, as the MN motto goes. But nothing wrong with a bday party with friends! :)

If there were just 24 in the year then I'd invite them all too. Not worth doing a 'big' party otherwise, which is what they tend to be at this age. My DS was in a year of 90 kids, we had 45 at this first party because he was friends with so many people.

I too think you are being a bit whiny. If this was a full class you'd be going to near 30 parties.

Not everyone does whole class parties - we never did, not a thing at DD’s school, 24 is a lot of kids and a lot of parties, presents etc.

My reception child is having a party and I’ve invited kids from the other class- they went to nursery (I don’t know the parents) and she references them a lot. In their reception the play area is a mix so they do play together. You’re overthinking it tbh.

5 kids, 3 different primary schools...it's always been the norm here. Generally until the start of Year 2.

Guess schools can be different from one another! Glad we didn’t have it.

OP, you should have refused the invitation.

I mean the utter horror of your uber popular child being invited to sooooo many parties.

Honestly.....

I guess being small classes they feel it's better to invite both classes in case people don't turn up, especially if it's a hall type party.
Also while you say they don't share class time together (which is unusual in reception) they might share break time and lunch time.
Reception is usually continuous provision and many schools accommodate this by flowing between two reception classes if there is multiple classes.

Obviously we are going to go as I don’t want DS to feel like he’s missing out

You sound very hypocritical.
You are not interested, just don't go. You will be complaining when your kid is left out.

Either it's a positive, and you are glad it's another occasion for your child to have fun - what birthday parties are all about
or it's a bother, and just decline instead of moaning about the logistics, the parents, the excessive parties.

I don’t really understand why parents invite children from the other class?
24 kids is really not a lot for a party?
Parents are nice, or want to meet other parents, create more friendship opportunities for the kids, who knows. Be grateful or decline, what's the drama?

I'm another one that thinks 24 isn't that many to invite. Whole class parties (class of 23) were normal for our DC but firstly not all of the 23 kids had a party, and secondly not all of them could make it to every other party. You'd probably get 18 at most due to illness/other plans/custody etc.

I also think at that age parties don't get spoken about for more than 5 minutes after they happen, so just say no if DC isn't bothered.

Some people will complain about anything

Simple answer is decline. There are 90 kids per year in my child’s infant school imagine that 😀 I think it is nice for all children to be included. You don’t have to go.

Wow! Imagine if all the kids from both classes were Invited except your son! That would be a whole other thread.
its an invite - some will decline, no reason why you shouldn’t have declined

They probably asked their child who they wanted to invite and your child was chosen. You should be happy that other children want to be friends with yours.