Hi all.
I’ll preface this by saying I’m going to change some details so it’s not as outing but the structure and potential offences are the same.
basically ex is an abusive fantasist and also a PC. He had an affair with a colleague that ended our marriage a year ago. He made a suicide attempt in April. He made another attempt in June, I’ve found out some incredulous lies since. He was sectioned after the second attempt for a month and is still off work, he thinks he will be going back in December to pick up where he left off.
ex used to run a club, let’s say running and has done this for ten years or so. He collected monthly subs from everyone into a bank account only he had access too. The secretary noticed money has been misspent or didn’t add up to what they expected- I’m not sure if they’d seen the statements or just knew it didn’t add up. The secretary reported it to the governing body for the sport and I think they passed it to the police. Thankfully he was incredible secretive with his phone and never mentioned this account to me so I’m grateful for that now. The rumour I’ve heard through a friend of a friend is that it amounts to about 10k over 10 years.
i still have to have contact with ex for our dc, I asked him if the investigation had been sorted recently after he failed to pay for something we had agreed he’d cover and he said it was still rumbling on but he wasn’t worried because he’d done nothing wrong.
I strongly suspect he has indeed used that account to fund his lifestyle because he always had money available when he needed it, e.g. if he got a ticket for something he wanted to go to despite complaining about being skint earlier in the week. So I think this will very likely be true.
He was horrendous towards the end of our marriage and would threaten me with all sorts, e.g. being arrested, withholding pay, he set me up with others to make me look like I was behaving completely inappropriately, he tried to convince me I was crazy for suspecting an affair. I want to feel justice has been served but don’t want to face him, I know he would lie to spare himself, so if he’s going to lose his job or worse via this route that means I don’t need to have a hand in then that will suit me.
I’m struggling massively with having to see him after having the summer off - he completely withdrew from all contact for 3 months. I was starting to feel better and like I could rebuild then he came back wanting to see the kids. I don’t want him in my life, it’s incredibly stressful and anxiety inducing knowing i have to see him. I have spoken to professional standards, they contacted me after someone made an anonymous report about his behaviour to me in May. Ultimately I declined to make a statement as at the time I didn’t want to lose the maintenance (we would be on the breadline without it) and also he had tried to kill himself and I don’t want to feel like I contributed to that if he did do it one day. I’m angry though, sad, I just feel frozen, he’s completely ruined my life and I don’t want to just pretend this hasn’t happened. Now he’s been gone a while I’ve realised I would rather have the peace than the money.
So what i don’t understand is, I think he was either arrested or ‘invited’ to an interview in June, but nothing since that he’s mentioned and he’s acting as though everything is fine.
is It likely that they’re waiting for him to return before they speak to him again because of his mental health? I’ve heard he has a union representative so there must be something going on.