to be shocked and upset to see the term "midget" used in reference to one of the alleged new BB housemates

[emkana]

The woman the media are talking about didn't actually go in tonight, but in all the papers, even the bl*dy Independent, they call her a "midget belly dancer".

My ds has dwarfism and it makes me feel very to think that he will come across terminology like this...

How would you like it if a term used to describe your child would bring up search results like this on google

Or this

I actually feel a bit sick now

And these were among the top 5 search results

Thank you RubyRioja

I was stupid to start this thread in AIBU, I should have known it would end up upsetting me, even though lots of people have said very kind things about my ds.

It doesn't help that we had a hospital appointment today, a definitive diagnosis has now been postponed by two years, we know he has dwarfism but which type exactly we will not find out for a good while now. It has brought a lot of the emotions of the last two years back up, and when I was driving back I looked at ds in his car seat and I felt so much love for him I could have burst. I know there are a lot worse things that he could have, and he's doing so well and we are so lucky, but today of all days it does make me sad that some people might talk about him in that way one day, and worse that he might get teased and bullied one day because of his short stature.

Emkana, I really do empathise with you. I think what I was trying to say before was that some people would prefer to be called a midget (as the man I met certainly did). In this case he did not want to be told he had any type of dwarfism, he was a midget and that was that.

In this case it would be rude of me to use any other term to describe him, wouldn't it?

I am happy to be told I am wrong, so please do

If I met somebody and they indicated that they would choose to be described as a midget, then I wouldn't feel it was up to me to lecture them on what they should or shouldn't be described at.

But I think everybody should initially try to avoid the term, as well as the term dwarf (even though that is used more widely, but by people who are themselves affected).

aargh BB is a nightmare full stop

emkana your son is so utterly gorgeous!

I know it must be so worrying for you wondering what the world has in store for him. But am sure the loving secure background he has with you will help him alot.

Re the use of the word midget-it is hard sometimes knowing what terms are acceptable-always good to have it pointed out by someone with direct experience.

Emkana, I think you're exactly right. Generally when I meet people I try to classify them by name rather than telling them what they are IYSWIM.

I also wanted to say that I know a lad with disproportional dwarfism, and the first time he walked in the room, I noticed he was short. The second time he walked in the room, I thought "x is here! Brilliant.". When you started this thread I had oddly forgotten that I see this lad every week. He is not defined by his height. He is popular and lively and witty. He is going through his teenage years (the bit when everyone picks on your weaknesses) and he is the one everyone wants to be friends with. I have never seen him go for a minute without smiling about something.

I'm sure I've said that all wrong, but I wanted to say it.

oh what a surprise to find greyriverside on here. Defending her right to be offensive to people. Again. Yawn.

He's beautiful emkana - and having a child who is different in some way is a good way of sorting out those that are worth knowing from those that aren't.

Educating the media is another issue and there's a long way to go.

Ah, now that would make sense lapin.....

haven't read the whole thread but IMO the people who go on BB are choosing to place themselves in a live freak show - so we cannot expect them to be treated as real people. No doubt the short person has used their stature as their 'selling point'. Or perhaps I am a bit too scathing about the show. Why anyone would watch it is beyond me anyway.

I clicked on this thread because I wanted to understand the correct terminology so thanks for posting. I think the only defence is that many people simply don't know what the preferred terminology is (I didn't). I had heard dwarfism used so wasn't sure if it was acceptable or not. Thanks for clarifying.

Your DS is gorgeous and if I may say so, looks a little like my DD .

margoandjerry, clicked on your profile hoping to see your dd there, but just found shoes!

It is a difficult one, which is why I am arguing in favour of going for the cautious approach, using terminology that is unlikely to offend (person of short stature, person with dwarfism) until the person in question has indicated which terminology he/she is comfortable with.

Think thats probably all any of can do, emkana.

Its very difficult, but I presume one must use the most PC language available, until they have got to know the person long enough to establish their preferred terminology.

Anyway - I'm sorry to hear about the postponement of your DS diagnosis, thats awful. Must be so difficult and distressing to have to wait so long on a formal diagnosis .
And, I have said it before and I will say it again - your DS is absolutely gorgeous, such a beautiful little boy.

I would be interested though to hear how your friend feels about websites like the ones listed below, which take the p*ss out of people with dwarfism and which use the term "midget".

can I add something? imvho I think the issue is using a noun as a label - because it uses a condition as a/the defining feature - which, of course is rubbish. people are sons, friends, dentists, actors, parachute jumpers, people...etc

I think em's is the exact right approach "person with....".

Interestingly I was reading some guidance issued to judges on how to deal with disability in court the other day (as you do...) and it recommended that if they needed to refer to someone in the third person to use exactly Emkana's approach (person with a disability/insert specific condition...) - so this obvioulsy refeclts current thinking and I really do think it's common sense. It's descriptive and factual - and you need only use it when you need to, when it's relevant. people who are disabled don;t need defining with reference to their body any more than people who are able-bodied. imparting their condition may sometimes - but not always - be relevant to your conversation.

Thank you DSM.

In a way I am relieved because ds hates doctors so much that I hate taking him to appointments. But it would be nice to have some answers.

I'm not sure, but will definitely ask him. I shouldn't think he would be overly enamoured..

He does get the piss taken out of him, but by close friends, and I think that is the difference. Its all done in very good spirit, and we all do it to one another, IYKWIM. Its one thing to make fun of friends, because you know you love one another.

His thing is midget
Another friend is called big homo (very tall, gay)
Another is called leeks (welsh)
Another is called Weege (he is from Glasgow)
The rest are a bit rude so I shan't share them

Really doesn't make us sound very nice . But I promise it is all done with loving intention - and none of us are offended. However, it wouldn't be acceptable for anyone out of the group, I think we would probably all take offence on each others behalf.

You have to be able to laugh at yourself, but I guess that doesn't make it alright for everyone to say. I hope this makes any sense..

So, that BB girl referring to herself as midget, does not give everyone the free reign to use the word.
I think, this is the first time I have completely changed my opinion in one thread!

emkana - just to prove how poor the standard of reporting is - I do not believe she has any form of Dwarfism - she is just from Thailand - they are all (mostly) short.