To be fed up of my lonely mother

[Egm5478]

my parents are still married but have always been like chalk and cheese, my dad seems reasonably content with his quiet life after retirement - happy to help with grandkids, potters around the garden and has a healthy social life with friends he met when he previously played cricket.

my mum on the other hand is forever complaining, watches too much of the news, is obviously lonely yet makes no effort to keep herself busy or meet new people. I’m finding as she ages she’s becoming more and more stubborn and is becoming almost difficult to like with her recent political views.

i love her wholeheartedly and my children adore her but honestly i find her a bit of a drain to be around lately. I have a full time job, 2 kids and a reasonable active social life of my own but am made to feel guilty if it’s more than a week between visits.

she doesn’t have many friends, maybe one or two who she sees a couple of times a year and she doesn’t speak to her own brothers. I have an older brother who seems to get away with visiting less frequently.

does anybody have suggestions of things I could suggest she could do to meet new friends at her age? She’s just recently turned 70. I don’t want to cut her out of my life, I worry she’s unhappy but I can’t be responsible for keeping her entertained!

Do you think she would be willing to volunteer somewhere? The National Trust could be a good place to try if you have a property near you. It's a good way to socialise and possibly make new friends.

U3A? Craft groups - often run in church halls. Book clubs. Maybe she could go to pub quizzes with your dad sometimes.

Walking groups.
Zip lining/ gliding club.
Cold water swimming.
Choirs.
Litter picking/ tree planting environmental volunteering.

Could you talk to your dad about this? Perhaps they could do something together maybe a hobby or a new club?

Otherwise -
Women's Institute
Could she become a schoolreader?
If she's interested in politics and the news local town councils are always desperate for people to stand as councillors or support volunteers.
Local church/bellringing/flower rota.
@FuzzyPuffling mentioned litter picking groups. I'm retired and do this and it's been the single most social thing I've ever done. All ages, all types of folk, fresh air and exercise and you're doing something really positive which helps take the edge off of all the bad news one can drown in.

You mention you visiting her, does she never visit you?

I fear that if she's as stubborn as you say OP your best option might be setting boundaries to protect yourself.