AIBU

[really14]

Recently left a very abusive relationship with my 9 month old baby.
when I say I’m a mess, I mean a shaking ugly crying slobbering mess most the time
before baby I was a size 8. I’m now a 12.
my abuser use to tell me my looks have faded all the time abd use to go in to detail about how “fat” I am.
it’s given me a real complex. I truly hate every inch of myself which I’m trying to work on. (I use to be extremely confident)
tonight.. I was talking to my dad about it all etc. and he said “you need to lose a bit of weight” out the blue.
I didn’t ask his opinion on my body. And he knows what my abuser said & put me through.
I’ve cried all evening because it’s brung back everything my abuser said.

aibu ? Am I being pathetic
honestly I was the strongest person you could meet. I never thought I could go this low. I wouldn t wish this on anybody.

I’ve been where you are. It takes real strength to leave, so please be so proud of yourself for that. You have taken your baby to safety and ensured that they have a safe, happy childhood.

Your weight does not matter right now. Your mental health does. You can focus on losing weight when you have started to recover? If that’s what YOU want to do.

Have you got any support at all OP? Are you in a position to access some therapy? Can you speak to your GP or Women's Aid?x

Thankyou. How did you get better? Please advise me. I’ve got nobody. My family don’t get it at all. Just on my own with the kids. I don’t feel good enough for them anymore. I’m too worried to reach out incase of repercussions from my ex. He’s not a good / nice man. Honestly he’s awful x

A pathetic person would never find the strength to leave an abusive relationship. You doing that shows just how strong you are. You need to work on building your confidence and your new life. You deserve this fresh start and you should be so proud of being brave enough to take it.

Youve just had a baby, bringing new life into the world is a wonderful success. Of course your body isn’t the way it used to be. That’s normal and not unusual at all. Your dad probably didn’t think about that, being a guy. Most pregnant women put on weight. And you’ll lose it again.

So dont worry about that. Just look after yourself and start putting the baby in the pram and walking in the fresh air somewhere safe and it’ll help you feel better and tone you up too.

You've done so well to leave that bastard. Well done. It takes great strength and courage to do that. It’s the right decision. Hes a cheeky bastard saying your looks have faded. What nonsense. You still have the same looks you did when you fell pregnant, it’s not that long ago. Hes just tried to hurt you because hes a nasty insecure little man.

You just look after yourself and your lovely baby and make healthy food and youll feel like yourself again in a few months once you get over all the stress and upset that prick caused. Youll be just fine. 💐

It took a lot of time, and it was brutal, but I just had to take it day by day. I got there, and I promise you will too.

Women’s Aid will support you, they won’t force you to report anything if you don’t want to go down that road. You just need some support, you’ve been through so much.

I don’t even know you and I’m really proud of you OP x

What they said ⏫️
Plus, unless you're v short, a size 12 is v average.

Disappointing how much and often women are judged on their body shape, isn't it!