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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not really enjoy going out much anymore?

17 replies

Octobertime · 27/10/2025 18:52

I’m 41, married, have two dc. A teen and a pre teen. I’m definitely not depressed.

I just don’t have much interest in going out anywhere anymore. Have never been that outgoing but it’s gone extreme.

I work part time, spend my days off cleaning, food shopping, pottering, exercising and catching up on my shows.

Both dc play sport and dh and I are there every weekend to support them and we love it.

So, I used to love eating out, can’t be bothered anymore, always find restaurants cold, noisy and the food overpriced. I much prefer cooking and trying new recipes at home.

Used to love shopping but I tend to avoid these days as I end up picking up tat. Plus can always get better deals online.

Used to live the cinema but can now only be bothered if it’s a must see new film. Just because I can get cosy at home with a movie.

Cant be bothered to go for coffee as again, too overpriced.

All I seem to enjoy is doing home improvements, walking the dog and finding new beauty spots, maybe the odd museum/bit of siteseeing.

Is this normal? Is it just middle age? A phase?

OP posts:

JacknDiane · 27/10/2025 18:53

Are you worried about it?

Original poster

Octobertime · 27/10/2025 18:56

JacknDiane · 27/10/2025 18:53

Are you worried about it?

Not really but I do sort of miss getting excited about going for a meal or to see a film.

OP posts:

Pancakeflipper · 27/10/2025 18:57

I've totally gone off eating out too. It's just so disappointing.

I think it's OK to step away for a while. Things you want to do will hopefully appear..

Exercise sessions/clubs?,theatre? Quiz nights at pubs? Book clubs? Volunteering ?

TheAmusedQuail · 27/10/2025 18:57

I'm the same. I was never very outgoing but I did socialise. Since Covid, I've lost the urge. I'm quite happy at home.

It does worry me though. I'm single and as I get older, I think I'll get lonely. So I ought to break out of it. But I have no real desire to.

OMGitsnotgood · 27/10/2025 18:59

If you are happy and fulfilled, it isn’t an issue. It’s more of a worry if you feel like you are in a rut and not enjoying life.

Orangeopera · 27/10/2025 19:00

You sound like me.

Isthismylastchance · 27/10/2025 19:09

If you are enjoying what you are doing then I think it's brilliant.
You are getting pleasure from what you enjoy.
It doesn't matter what you used to do or what other people are doing.
You do you and there is no need to worry about it or apologise for it.

ChillBarrog · 27/10/2025 19:10

TheAmusedQuail · 27/10/2025 18:57

I'm the same. I was never very outgoing but I did socialise. Since Covid, I've lost the urge. I'm quite happy at home.

It does worry me though. I'm single and as I get older, I think I'll get lonely. So I ought to break out of it. But I have no real desire to.

If you do get lonely, break out of it then 🤷. Don't borrow trouble

waitamo · 27/10/2025 19:22

It's only a problem if you are not happy with the way things are. Plenty of people dislike noise, crowds, getting to and from a place, the expense, finding something to wear, and most of all, leaving a warm cosy home to go out in the cold and back again. That's Winter obv., but that's where we are now.

I see nothing at all wrong with not wishing to go out much. Well I would say that because I'm one of them!

I am retired now too, so my world has contracted a bit since not everyone I know is retired also (I went early). But I do get out most days for a long walk, or a mooch around town and so on. When I do meet friends it's daytime only and home latest 5 or 6pm. People who are social butterflies are horrified at people like me. I think people like them are not right in the head going out so much. Horses for courses I think!

It becomes a problem if you get lonely and/or bored. I'm never that as I like my own company a lot and enjoy a quiet life.

Holluschickie · 27/10/2025 19:27

It's not middle age because I am 53 and love going out. Though not to eat because that's not worth it any more. But to the theatre, cinema, comedy clubs, gigs.
You will find most people on MN agree with you.

NewYorkSummer · 27/10/2025 19:39

It’s not middle age as I’m older than you and still love to go out - day trips, travel, dinner, gigs, pubs, coffee and shopping. I do enjoy being at home too but if I didn’t get to go out several times a week doing something I would absolutely go stir crazy. As long as you’re comfortable with your life then it doesn’t really matter what others think.

hotchocfiend · 27/10/2025 20:09

I’m in my thirties and feel like this! Only difference is I still love the cinema. But life with work and kids is so busy that all I want the rest of the time is to be cosy at home, make our house nice, do gentle things. I think that’s fine - I’ve just accepted a night out once a month is more than enough for me and it will be fun if it’s the right people (eg go for dinner to catch up with an old friend, not for the food).

AuraBora · 27/10/2025 20:15

As others have said, I think feeling less inclined to go out and spend money now on food and drink is pretty common - it's all just become expensive and eating out just doesn't seem worth it much of the time.

I was away at the weekend and DP took one of the kids for a pub lunch after a walk - £43 for one adult.meal and one kids plus drink each. I understand totally the need to charge higher prices due to costs but unfortunately it just isn't worth it...

Thepeopleversuswork · 27/10/2025 20:39

I think its natural to enjoy going out less when you're older and more settled. To some extent we all do this: a middle aged parent who wanted to go out three nights a week would be odd and a bit unhealthy.

I increasingly crave time at home and find being overscheduled and not having enough down time makes me very stressed. Sometimes I long to cancel stuff because I just can't be arsed.

That said, I think you have to resist the idea to completely retreat from the world. It's really important as you get older to maintain a social network and a bit of a sense of perspective away from the family/home. People who put all their eggs in the family basket are much more vulnerable, both to being let down by their family and just in becoming more isolated.

A little goes a long way: I rarely go out socially more than once a fortnight but I think everyone needs to keep their social muscle up a bit and get out of their comfort zone.

Doggielovecharlotte · 27/10/2025 20:41

You sound like you’ve got over all the temptations that don’t really forfil
you any more and have found what does, and it sounds lovely

go for it!

id love your life

Holluschickie · 27/10/2025 22:21

Thepeopleversuswork · 27/10/2025 20:39

I increasingly crave time at home and find being overscheduled and not having enough down time makes me very stressed. Sometimes I long to cancel stuff because I just can't be arsed.

A little goes a long way: I rarely go out socially more than once a fortnight but I think everyone needs to keep their social muscle up a bit and get out of their comfort zone.

Why is a middle aged parent wanting to go out 3 times a week odd and unhealthy? I do.

Endofyear · 27/10/2025 22:35

I still love meeting up with friends, though with everyone juggling work and families, we probably only manage to do it every couple of months! We went out for a lovely Thai meal recently and it was great but expensive! We tend to meet early, at 6ish and we're home in pj's by 10ish so it's a win 😊 I went to watch my youngest son's band play last week and didn't get home till nearly 1am - I was shattered and my back was killing me 😂 I'm 54 and definitely prefer staying home to late night gigs these days!

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