to feel sad when i see a child being smacked in public?

[Divastrop]

it wouldnt bother me in extreme circumstances,like if the child had run out in front of a car and the mother was obviously acting out of shock and fear,but today a boy of about 5/6 came out of asda with his mum and he either dropped or threw(didnt see)the lid of the bottle of water he was drinking on the floor.the mum slapped him round the head,knocking the water all over him,and shouted 'pick that up NOW!'.

i felt really bad for the little boy,but then i feel i had no right to judge as i used to smack dc1+2 occasionally when they were younger,before i learnt better ways of parenting.

Hayley2u - it bloody well IS your business if your friend is physically abusing an 8 month old baby when drunk. My daughter is 8 months old and I am actually shivering with revulsion at your friends behaviour. Report her to the social services pronto. It makes me so incredibly sad for that baby. 8 months old FGS!! 8 months old!

im not against smacking but am so against smacking a child round the face or head which i find horrid,
i think you should never smack a child when angry.
dd does get a smack on the bottom or leg if she is naughty but only if other methods dont work ie telling her off or time out.
i would never smack my child in public.

I always felt it was up to me to show my children how to behave in a public space. If I can't control myself how can I expect them to do it?

I don't even like hearing other parents speak to their children in an aggressive way, let alone hit them.
There's clearly a better way, but how do you teach people how to parent properly?

Maybe we should all carry flyers for MN in our pockets and gently steer people to the 'light' side .

Yes it makes me sad, it also makes me sad to hear a child crying or to see a child being told off. Basically I'm a softy.And also a hypocrite as I have been the bad parent before now and I know just how children can push and push.

A woman that gets the bus from my bus stop is horrid to her children every day.

She'll stand on the phone ignoring them whilst they run all over the place then get off the phone, scream at them and clobber them quite often.

Her voice is really fucking annoying too, worse than Bianca Jacksons! I have felt like saying to her that she can't expect the to listen the way she talks to them, but have to bite my tongue and remind myself it's none of my business.

I feel even sadder when I watch them hurt each other though, which she ignores, I'd be devastated if my children were to be violent towards each other.

I agree that seeing kids being smacked / hit is horrible, but words can be just as bad - worse sometimes.

There's a woman who walks her kids to their school same time as I walk ds to his & we sometimes cross paths for half a block or so. She seems permanently stressed and has lots of kids to cope with, but the things she says! Shouting at them that they'll all end up in jail, that she wishes she'd never had them, that she's going to see about getting them adopted . It makes me so sad and angry - how can they possible enjoy a day at school with those words ringing in their ears?

ds calls her 'the angry lady' and says he feels sorry for her kids because she doesn't seem to love them .

Not unreasonable. Makes me feel sad and angry as well. I can feel my heart twisting when I see it - or that kind of verbal abuse that's been cited as well. I remember only too well what it feels like on the receiving end.

One of my mum's stock lines was "you're not that frightened of me, I know". I didn't think I was supposed to be frightened of my mum.

I was though.

I dont think there is ever an excuse for smacking a child around the head but occasionally when DS is really rude and abusive, flatly refuses to go to his room or do anything I tell him to do he WILL get a pat on the bottom. Only time they have ever had a smack in public were the one occasion each when they ran off in a busy car park...and they never did it again.

It is a TOTAL last resort as I am a great beliver that a lot of their bad behavour is just attention seeking...they know what is right and wrong they just want to push a few buttons to get a reaction.

wannabe-i had a similar upbringing in that i was smacked on the bum for being naughty but i cant recall any single time it happened as it was a clear-cut 'ive been naughty so i got a smacked bum'.what i do remember is my mum threatening to have me taken away to the childrens home and other such nasty things.

i have seen mums obviously stressed and at the end of their tether smacking a whinging/tantruming child on the bum a few times and i dont really take much notice,i think this bothered me as the child didnt seem to have done anything wrong,the smack was around the head and also the fact he got soaked and seemed humiliated.he was sobbing

Hayleu2u - can you please report your friend? I'm supposed to be hard at work but your comments have really upset me. Please please report her!

I have never and never will hit my DDs around the head.
That is very wrong. But sometimes when i've got PMT (seems to be getting worse each month), i do warn them not to push it and i will shout.
But sometimes if something else is happening to stress me out i do lash out and it shames me so.
A couple of weekends ago we went on the camping trip from hell.
We were in a field, i had forgotten my hayfever tabs so was suffering REALLY badly, the tent was a bit damaged from the night before, this was around 25th May and my DD1 aged 6 was just moaning about not wanting to go anywhere and just whinging in the way she does that winds me up.
Anyway, gave her a little punch on the arm and later it did come up as a bruise, she is very skinny and i just felt like crying as i was such a bad mum.
I'm not usually bothered by her winging but if i'm not feeling 100% myself is gets too much.
We made up for it later and i've made sure she understands why she got hit, it was because mum lost it a bit and is very very sorry.

Poor kid.
You see all sorts and keep quiet but what are the rules for this type of thing?
There are a family near me with an autistic son. He is treated similarly. I just want to pick up the child and give him a cuddle and run away with him.
Of course, I say nothing, as we all have to live in the same town, our kids go to the same school.
Its terrible to see.

Big hug for you elffriend.
xxxx

thanks Goober.

Hayleyu2u, hitting an 8 month old baby is child abuse, full stop.

Report her. She needs parenting lessons. And that child needs a decent home which she won't get if her mother continues to abuse her while drunk.

I'm not one for involving SS in family life, I think there's always a chance they'll do more harm than good, but I wouldn't hesitate to report someone hitting a baby. Or being regularly drunk in charge of one.

my parents used to slap me round the head. One day when I realised I was taller than my mum I slapped her back. I was not even a naughty child.
I don't smack. I don't want to be anything like my father.
One of my children was a very aggressive little boy - but how could we teach him how to control himself at 3 or 4 or 5, if we - the adults - couldn't control ourselves?

It makes me very sad to see children being slapped or smacked, but I do appreciate how very hard it can be to find other ways to teach a difficult child. Having said that, I am guilty of judging people who do smack, for not trying hard enough to find another way....

Right on LittleBella - this is just absolutely appalling behaviour. It is indeed child abuse - Hayley2u, your friend is abusing her child; please help this baby to have hope.