DC living at home for uni?

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DC having to think about possible uni's and uni courses - for financial reasons they are considering going to a local uni and living at home to save money and carry on with their part time job. I'm worried about them missing out on the social aspect and living in the halls of residence with other freshers. Has anyone's DC done this and how did they find it?

We live within commuting distance of two very good universities so I know quite a few young people who are doing this. They all seem to be happy and have full social lives. Given the costs of accomodation and the fact that everything is getting more expensive, I expect there will be an increase in people making a similar choice.

I did this

I really felt like I'd missed out in the first month at all the freshers events but just took a bit of putting myself out there in my course!

By Xmas of Y1 there was no difference, and I got to go home to a nice house

I had a couple of friends do this (while I went to a local uni but still moved out of home). They definitely didn't get the same experience. Yes, they made some friends on their course, joined societies etc. but just missed out on all the parties and shenanigans that take place in student dorms and houses, because they weren't things you got "invited" to, but just tended to spontaneously happen of an evening.

Do you want them to start their working lives £27K in debt or £50-60K? Halls are overrated.

Both my dds chose this. One has graduated now and she loved missed nothing. The other is year 2 and feels the same. Both happy, thriving, no money worries and less debt

One of mine did, she wanted to, she’s not very socialable anyway so suited her, i ended up have her friends hanging out at ours a lot, was just the 2 of us in the house at that point and was pretty relaxed, her mates were happy to include me as one of the gang (the fact I provided food and had my ex’s alcohol he’d left may have been a factor in how nice they were to me)

My dd stayed at home. She didn't make a single friend but she is quite introverted and shy. I don't know if she would have been better staying in halls or if she would have been even more lonely.
Sorry no help.

DC will lose some of the Uni experience living st hone. But they will be in less debt when they finish. 🤷‍♀️

I lived at home, it's much more the norm in central Scotland, with Glasgow, Strathclyde, Edinburgh unis within easy commuting distance.

I did miss out on the typical uni experience because I worked nights/weekends/multiple jobs in the holidays to afford to go to uni but I graduated with 2 degrees and no debt!

My friend's DCs stayed at home. They didn't join any clubs and didn't make any friends. I think it was partly down to tbem - they are not the most sociable - but they certainly had a very different experience to my DCs who didn't stay at home.

My daughter is doing this. We literally cant afford to pay for her to live away from home as we are above the threshold for any support, but with the cost of living, dont earn enough to run 2 homes.

She doesn't mind at all . We have 2 good unis nearby

It's not the same experience so of course it won't be the same, but it's not necessarily a bad thing. A sociable person can still make friends and enjoy their time at uni, even if they've missed out on some aspects.

Financial constraints are financial contraints though. If you just can't afford it, it's how it goes. Better to make the best of it and maximise opportunities to socialise with friends as much as they can, rather than moping at home because it isn't what they wanted in an ideal world.

I'd put the question the other way around. Ask kids in halls if they think others who live at home miss out.

My daughter is in 2nd year and she definitely thought those not living in halls missed out, as did others. Yes, they joined societies etc, went on nights out etc, but they weren't aware of how much they were missing out on, simply because they weren't there - so didn't know what they didn't know iyswim.

Those who live at home but have friends and go out are probably very happy,but unaware how much other stuff is going on without them.

DS is doing this. Still enjoying the social side of uni. Made friends both in halls and some living at home. Would rather him have less debt than go away for the experience.

My DS did this. He’s actually quite sociable but doesn’t drink and sometimes finds that difficult when everyone else is drinking and getting daft. He liked commuting for his first year and being able to continue with his weekend job. However, he did start talking about sharing a house for his second year with some friends which we were pleased about. Sadly, covid then hit and he never got the chance to do it.

It really depends on what your child wants from university.

My partner’s son went to a local uni and lived at home. He already knew someone on his course, but he didnt make any other friends, he didn’t join any clubs, didn't go on any nights out, and literally only went to the university campus for lectures. But that was what he wanted. All he wanted uni for was the qualification.

My son, on the other hand, is away for uni, and having the typical student experience - clubs, communal living, big nights out, student parties, and living relatively independently. That’s what he wanted.

Obviously my partner’s son saved a fortune, whilst my son is building up a big debt.

There’s no right or wrong way, but what I would say is that if your son wants to make lots of new friends and have a very sociable time, whilst still living at home, he'll probably have to make a bit more effort to make friends. There’s a lot of spontaneous socialising that goes on in halls, certainly in the first term.

When I was at uni lots of students stayed in halls in Y1 and then moved home for Y2 & Y3.

so they may good friends but reduced costs and improved life for the final 2 years.

May be worth considering. However if there is not enough £££ available then that’s that. Decision made.

I lived at home whilst at Uni and I have no regrets whatsoever.

Have you seen the state of some of the Uni accommodations?! 🤮

I loved going home at the end of the day, doing my studying in the peace and quiet and having all my comforts around me followed by a good night’s sleep whilst a lot of my friends were living in a messy Dorm with people they didn’t like and being kept up all night by parties going on in the room next door!

Fear not OP, although “living in halls” is meant to be some kind of defining experience of university life, Im not sure it’s as wonderful as some people assume it to be.

Some people want to have that experience though, which is absolutely fine, whereas others don’t see the appeal, which is also fine.

If your child is happy with staying at home then don’t worry about them…… unless of course you were really
looking forward to having them move out for 3 years? 🤣

They won't 'miss out' they'll just have a different experience.

Lots of students find halls and housing to be a stressful aspect of the uni years. The number of students doing this is increasing. The savings are a considerable benefit.

It's a reasonable option, for each person to consider from their own unique perspective.

We said to our children that if they went to the local uni we think they should live in halls for first year, get that shared flat experience, meet people, have impromptu singing with a guitar in the kitchen, last second I am walking into town in 10 minutes if anyone wants to join me sort of group message stuff.

Then live at home for years 2 and 3. It is a completely different experience living at home whilst attending uni. Not sure you can schelp 5 mates back to your Mum's house at 11pm and carry on chatting until 2am. Plus them getting back "home" would be harder than walking from one set of halls to another.

I think experiencing that half way step to independence in student accommodation is a good thing to have. I know that both my children who lived away for uni really appreciate a dishwasher, an available washing machine and someone else catering some of their meals and have said so.