So annoyed with my neighbours what should I do when I see them?

[geekygardener]

Every week I’m taking in parcels for a neighbour. I don’t mind the occasional one, but it can fluctuate between a couple a week to a few daily. They order a lot of stuff and are never in to receive it. I don’t know why they don’t order it to their family who live on the next street or to one of their work places. This has been going on for a number of years.
I wouldn’t mind if I’m in just pottering at home, but I often work from home and my office is next to my front door. This means delivery drivers can see I’m in sat at my desk. They will continue to knock and wait even if I don’t initially answer because I’m in a meeting or call. People on the other end of my calls can clearly hear the knocking and dog barking, so I have to cut off. It’s unprofessional, especially because I take calls from people in distress. It’s unfair to cut them off.

I have told multiple delivery drivers that I am working and can no longer take in parcels for neighbours but that seems to have made little difference.
I work nights too and I’m woken up at least three times a week by deliveries for the same neighbours and it really affects my mood.

Today I was resting after a night shift and knocking woke me. Teen dd opened the door but then came running up telling me it was a large delivery for the neighbours and the delivery driver said he needed an adult to take it. Plus it was too large and heavy for dd to take in alone. This is not the first time we have taken in packages that have been large and heavy. I had one neighbour’s wardrobe and bedside table blocking my hallway for over a week while they were on holiday.
I just lost my temper because of being woken and I gabbed the parcel said “fine” and slammed the door. The delivery driver looked shocked, I do feel guilty about that but I was just fed up. I then just sat back down and no more than 2 minutes later another delivery driver knocked with another parcel for neighbours. Dd answered again and shouted out to me that he required an adult again, I couldn’t believe it. It was a different delivery company and driver but I shouted back for her to tell them no. They handed it to her anyway and she brought it to the hallway.

I can honestly say if it was the odd occasion that’s fine and I’d be a good neighbour and take them in happily. But this is multiple times a week, often multiple times a day and is disturbing my work and rest,

I did mention it to neighbour, who is the main culprit, he just laughs and says he understands it’s annoying, but it keeps happening.

Im now left with a large heavy box in my tiny hallway. I also feel like I can’t relax because soon neighbour will come knocking on my door to collect it. So if I wanted to go back to sleep I would be woken again. I looked across and the neighbour is actually in ! Both cars are there and I can see the son playing outside. They just couldn’t be bothered to answer the door.

I have told dd not to answer the door again because she can’t deal with deliveries, which upset her a bit.

Anyway, I hate confrontation but I feel like this is taking the mick.

This! ⬆️ If its bothering you to this extent (understandably, by the sounds of it!) then just stop doing it - say no! Tell the delivery drivers to stop asking, put a sign on your door & most of all, confront the neighbours in question & just tell them!! Stop being a martyr to it.

my situation was slightly different, my neighbour doesn’t have an enclosed porch and and so had actually put MY address as the delivery home. ( I don’t even know them!)

I told them politely to change the address. They said it was a typo and mistake. It it happened twice more. The last time I didn’t accept the parcel and said this person doesn’t live here and rejected it back to depot. Neighbour came later that day or next smfor parcel and I told them what I did. (He doesn’t have a car and is quite young and the depot is far) It didn’t happen again.

i wouldnt have minded accepting for a neighbour I knew, but I didn’t know him and I worried if something ended up lost or damaged he might direct his anger at me. So no, not having it.

In the nicest possible way - this is your fault at this point. You’re right that this behaviour is so so unbelievably unacceptable. You need to be getting really tough at this point. You tried going about things the right way, but no one respected you.

Leave a sign on the door saying in a meeting/on a zoom call please don’t knock.

Oooh or you could put the sign on the window as well!!

I ordered lots of parcels. I have a "safe place" listed for them to be left. My notes specificly say not to take them to my neighbours. But the delivery drivers still do because both neighbours are retired so home most of the time. As long as you keep taking them they will keep knocking. It might not be your neighbours fault so dont be so quick to be annoyed with them.

Oh FFS are you 12? In the time it took to write this post you could have called to the neighbours and told them no more parcels. Ridiculous. Poor delivery man. Honestly!

You've got hundreds of replies and haven't come back yourself, so normally I wouldn't bother sharing my thoughts but something struck a cord to me.

You said your work calls are people in distress. And it brought me back to the time, several years ago when I was in a very very bad place. I called the Samaritans because I felt I was really close to the edge. The person who picked up the call was clearly either doing other things, or had people coming and going because I could hear the doors creaking in the background. I can not describe how it felt to know that the one person I thought was there to listen wasn't interested in what I had to say, they were pre-occupied by something else. I hung up the phone and won't share the rest of what happened from there.

I don't know what you do for a job, but you have a responsibility to the people you are speaking to. You need to answer the door, refuse to accept the deliveries. Every single time. Back that up with notes on your doors. Put notes through your neighbours doors, explaining in the detail you have given here why you won't do it anymore. And stick to it. They're taking the piss, but you need to take more of a stand. If you need to, get a ring doorbell and either speak to them through that, saying no, or I think in some set ups, you can even use a pre-recorded answer. You just have to be consistent.

Neighbour needs to get a large parcel box. We ourselves receive some parcels regularly but our instructions are always to put it in our Safe Place and delivery drivers are us nowed to it. It takes big boxes and is watertight and couriers don't need to bother neighbours.
I also work from home so understand the OP regarding interruptions. It's bad enough having to get up for your own parcels, let alone unexpected ones for neighbours.

Yep, get a sign for the door saying you don't take parcels for neighbours. I've got one the other way around saying don't leave parcels with neighbours, because I don't want delivery drivers disturbing them if for some reason nobody is home.

What sort of ar*e arranges to have a wardrobe delivered and not be home to take delivery?
I’m also AMAZED it was left at an alternative address.
if it was a genuine surprise to the neighbours, I’d have expected some sort of thank you! If it was me I’d have bought a meal
out voucher for a local restaurant and flowers and chocolates as an apology!!

buy you need to get a grip @geekygardener and say no!

No you don’t! 😆

Thanks all. Ordered a sign last night. Going to say no if any come today. I have caused this because I’m too soft to say no and feel bad…having therapy for that.. but that’s another story.

A general no soliciting sign is one thing but you need something that says specifically you aren’t accepting mail/parcels for anyone else, otherwise they still can. Even if it’s hand written. Make it very clear you will not be a safe place to drop things off and refuse every time they try. Good luck!

I think when he laughed in your face you should've stopped then.

Seeing as they are in and the delivery still came to you instead this is the perfect opportunity to tell them you will no longer be accepting their deliveries. If they/you want yo provide a reason: They take up too much of your time, they interfere with your job and sleep given you work shifts and they are taking the piss. Say no and mean it. Have a sign on your door initially cos it might take a while to filter through. Have a note to hand in your office that you can hold up to delivery drivers at the window while you continue working saying "deliveries for this address only".
Your neighbour(s) has (have) been taking the piss for far too long.
I take in deliveries for my neighbour but she asks in advance and let's me know if she's ordered something large, and asks if that's okay- that is how you maintain good neighbourly boundaries/relationships.
Stand firm, OP.

Your neighbours are taking the piss massively! Glad you've ordered a sign.

I ticked you are being unreasonable purely for allowing it for so long. They are clearly CFs. They are not going to stop using you until you stop it yourself! There’s nothing wrong in saying no! If delivery drivers knock/ignore the sign tell them no and shut the door. End of. Eventually they will get the message and so will the neighbours. Sounds very much like the neighbours are using you for the “leave with” option.

I sympathise geekygardener and read with interest, thought you might be my ex's neighbour as my daughter has ordered loads online but rarely in to accept them 😂

Well done for getting the sign. I agree with others about the video doorbell, you could mute yourself in the meeting to answer, just in case it is for you. If not, then you can just say, 'can't you read the sign?!'.

If the neighbour laughs at you again, ask him 'why are you laughing?', then grit your teeth to prevent you saying anything else, and wait for his answer. Am disgusted for you that he laughed instead of apologising, as any decent person would. It's not likely that they would ever take in parcels for you is it?

I have neighbours 2 doors away, pre Covid, the older teenage son had 5x Amazon orders the courier brought to me, I ended up with them for over a week - they'd gone away for half term! When he did call round, I said I wondered when he might come to collect them, the reply was not a thank you but, 'well I never asked you to!' So I never did again. Simple. I now have a parcel safe it's great.

You are going to have to say no to drivers. Get a sign up that you only accept parcels for this address only. Get a camera doorbell and you can communicate.

if the driver just leaves the parcel outside your door then it’s at the delivery company risk. So tell the drivers that. Refuse to sign for anything.

because I’m petty, I would deny having the parcel 📦 and taking them to the post office to be returned to sender. or just deny it full stop and keep it 😂 for three weeks and then say it turned up

you are going to have to speak to neighbour and tell them that anything delivered will be refused and left outside for the porch pirates 🏴‍☠️

Don’t know how old your daughter is but tell her that you aren’t accepting parcels anymore for anyone else and not to open the door while you are sleeping.

as you work nights, I would also just take parcels over in the middle of the night and wake them up as it’s your awake time.

it’s tough to be firm but you have to follow through and mean it.

when drivers come, ask is it for me? No. Then just close the door. You need to be strong

Open the door and say, oh sorry thats not mine I cant take it.

This is happening because you keep saying but doing yes by accepting the parcels. Open the door and refuse any item not yours.

I dont mean it harshly, clearly youre a kind neighbour but this is the best way to solve your problem

She is often on the phone and the knocking and dog barking interupts the call.

That's great OP and good luck with the therapy.

One thing that struck me was everyone here telling you to tell neighbour you won't be accepting any more parcels. But you've already talked to him and he ignored what you said.

At most I'd put one note through his door. Take a pic of it after you've written it. Then ignore ignore ignore. If parcels are left at your door ignore them too.

Warn your DD not to answer to delivery drivers. Take batteries out of doorbell while working if possible.

If you do encounter a driver, say no, not accepting anything for other houses and close the door in his face. Once you've done it once it'll get easier I promise! You need to start prioritising yourself 💐

i can’t believe he laughed in their face. So rude

And this will set an awesome example for your dd. That you’re allowed to say no.

Waste of time. It won't get read!