Peri-menopausal or just life stress?

[TeaAndBrie]

I’m posting for traffic if that’s okay as I feel like I’m going mad.
I am 44. My DD started university 5 weeks ago and she needs lots of emotional support. She is 6 hours away.
I have always been quite emotionally reactive to things that happen. But the last six months I have never felt anxiety like I do now. I’ve cried way more than normal. I feel like I am constantly on alert and waiting for bad things to happen. I feel absolutely powerless to stop these overwhelming feelings when they happen. I have done CBT but can’t apply any techniques when I am in the moment as it feels like the emotions are just too much. I feel that my reactions to things that happen are not reasonable or normal, probably because I am always on high alert so catastrophes.
i have spoken to the GP and was pretty much told that this is because of life stressors and that I need to remember what I was shown in CBT.
has anyone else felt like this or can offer any advice? I feel like I’m going mad and I don’t want to live like this but I can’t stop it

Is hard to tell from what you have said whether it's peri symptoms, why do you think it might be?

Thank you for replying.
i just wondered really as so many of my friends my age are Perimenopausal and I just feel so unable to cope with emotions when I have always been stronger previously

Are there any other symptoms? I mean it could be, even if that's it, but it's so hard to say from just your post

This type of anxiety was one of my symptoms looking back (I’m about your age). It just wasn’t like me and although there was stress going on, I’d had far more stress in the past and not been that anxious. It got to the point where I felt terrified all the time, often for no reason so it was impossible to try and calm myself down. I felt scared about leaving the house sometimes. Period changes followed about 2 years later and I did a blood test which suggested perimenopause from FSH. Looking back it was likely perimenopause but I didn’t start HRT (which really helped) until periods changed so I can’t be sure.

The key bit for me was this just wasn’t like me. I’m usually independent and confident, have traveled the world alone, been a single parent, often ran alone across the moors etc etc but was reduced to an anxious wreck.

I went on HRT at 44. One of my main symptoms was crying for two weeks every month and worrying about everything all the time.

And endless total exhaustion.

It'll of course be life stressors as your gp unhelpfully said but once we're over 40 it all gets exacerbated by fluctuating hormones so stuff we'd earlier cope with all becomes a lot to deal with.

You just need to optimise your health so boring stuff like physical activity every day even if it's just walking instead of driving, the more we do the better we sleep and it all adds toward better wellbeing. Eat well, ditch or limit caffeine and booze. Try to focus on self care.

It's a shame your dd is 6hrs away if she's needing lots of support, could she possibly relocate nearer?

You poor thing. It's a big life change, but I get it can be difficult to separate out the true causes. Can you go and have a couple of sessions with a therapist at least to talk out your feelings? It may make things clearer either way.