Unexpected visits from parents, would this annoy you?

[krisssa]

I don't have the best relationship with my parents at all.
Never really parented me, never helped me in life and were quite verbally abusive.

I would of preferred not to have much contact with them but as we have DC my OH was keen for the kids to see their grandparents as his father has sadly passed away and his mum isn't on the best of health.

I texted my mum a few home truths and my younger brother who still lives at home blocked my number.

She isn't that tech savvy and dosent know how to unblock it, they do have a house phone though.
Every time I unblock it I get blocked again.

Since August they just turn up unexpectedly and it really annoys both me and OH.
I have addressed this with them, to call before turning up.

At the weekend we were out and they turned up, waited in the car for 45 minutes and kept leaving messages on our Ring door bell and shouting our names through the letterbox (heard it on the Ring door bell after).
They then posted a note through the letterbox.

We were highly embarrassed as our neighbours all witnessed this.

We are never invited to their house as younger brother lives there and nor are we ever invited for Christmas (which is fine as we wouldn't want to go anyway).

AIBU to feel like this?

She’s verbally abusive but you texted her a few home truths?

sounds like six of one half a dozen of the other.

I was polite in my texts as she kept asking why I was cold and distant with them so I explained the reasons to her.

There’s a lot here to unpack. But from what I understand it sounds like you were estranged and now both parties want to have some contact with each other. So I guess the best thing would be to give them a call to discuss how that would work in practice. Maybe invite them round and explain that you would rather see them at a pre-arranged times going forward.

I think you need to be clear with your parents what communication you want, what medium and how often. If your mum can't get through on the phone and sounds like there's some ongoing conflict (and did they know you were hiding inside - was your car there?) then it's not really unreasonable of them to try.

No we had never been estranged just had very low contact.

There are a lot is unresolved issues on my
part and I feel quite bitter.

No we were genuinely out so car wasn't there.

They could call form the house phone but we have young kids, we can't just go to over to there house unexpected.