Unsupportive partner

[Chester39]

I had a really tough week last week which has ended in me walking away from my partner.

> I’m on ivf medication (estrogen priming) so not feeling well and not sleeping
> Monday I got bullied at work (bit of a long story)
> Tuesday I had rush my mum into a&e with adrenal crisis which is life threatening. I had no other family support with this so resulted in me juggling work with seeing her in hospital as she was very upset
> Wednesday I had a bad asthma attack and have had to go on steroids
> Friday my friend died after being in palliative care all week and I didn’t get to see him (lives 5 hour drive away plus with everything going on)

My mum came home Saturday morning and I’m staying with her and looking after her as she’s too scared to be alone. I had tickets for a long awaited concert Sat night so my brother agreed to visit her for a few hours so I could go as it was important for me (im a saxophone player) and wanted some relief after a rough week.

My partner refused to come with me as he “just didn’t feel like it” and wanted a night in. I’ve dealt with all this on my own this week and he works from home and hadnt had a rough week. I came home sobbing my heart out from overwhelm and sat in another room ignoring me.

I went to the concert alone before going back to my mums where I’ve not slept all weekend partly due to the medication and partly due to stress. I felt unwell Sunday getting nausea even from my perfume and cooking but have through to look after mum whose very upset. He came round to bring me some more clothes I’d asked for and was so cold with me and said he’s annoyed at how I treated him over the concert!

I didn’t say anything at all prior to the concert. I text him whilst I was there saying how I felt alone and as if he has some kind of hatred or anger/resentment towards me and he said I was drunk (I didn’t have a drop due to ivf which he knows).

The following day after dropping of the clothes he sent me a message telling me to come off all the ivf drugs implying I’m acting unreasonable because of them. I had already stopped taking them that day as I didn’t want to continue with ivf due to lack of suppprt.

Im now going to leave him as I’ve felt so emotionally unsupported this week. Am I being reasonable?

Yep, walk away and save your sanity.
I hope this week is better for you, look after yourself 💐

I’m really sorry you’ve been feeling like this. Even if drugs and a lack of sleep have affected your behaviour, not having children with this man is the right decision. Children cause lack of sleep and difficulties in relationships and he’s shown you how he will behave. I hope your mum is ok and it’s nice to see that you value yourself. Good luck with your work situation.

Thank God! What an awful man.

Please look after yourself x

I Would say coming off the IVF meds is probably sensible. Is he usually so unsupportive? And I'm not doubting you but are you maybe expecting too much off him, it's a lot that has happened in one week to one person.

You are doing the right thing 💐

What a week you have had OP, am so sorry 😞 yes I would be walking away from your partner. I couldn't imagine my husband being so selfish when I had been through a week like yours. Sending hugs

Yes it is a lot to happen in one week to one person- which makes it all the more important that OP got more support.

I’m sorry, that’s a truly terrible week.

Your partner’s behaviour is certainly in ‘leave the bastard’ territory. It doesn’t bode at all well for him as a father or as a partner for you should you become a mother.

That guy is a selfish arse. You would get more joy from a fucking goldfish. Get rid.

Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't support you when you've had such a tough week? Much less have children with him.

You're definitely making the right decision.

I'm so sorry you had such a truly awful week OP.
I would say though that finding out who your partner really is before you were actually tied to him by having a child together is one good thing to come out of it.
His selfishness beggars belief.

IVF is incredibly tough. So much has happened in the run up to commencing treatment that relationships can get strained. I hope that your partner can dig deep and rise to the challenge to listen to you and support you as you decompress after a tough week.

Definitely leave he’s shown you when you are struggling he won’t be there for you and he’s not capable of caring that you are upset he’s only bothered about his feelings.

God don't have children with this man!

For the love of God don't get pregnant by him.

@Catsknowbest thanks! I wondered if they had read it right and maybe think he’s been through all that this week hence me wanting him to go to a concert would be unreasonable!

@holachicatita
There been a few examples like this at times I’ve needed support (few and far between) where he’s just out himself first.

just be clear, all of that happened to me this week not him. I wasn’t sure if you’d read it that it happened to him hence I was being unreasonable expecting him to still come to something that mattered to me.

what an uncaring selfish arse.
does he have regular form for being like this? im not sure i could come back from this tbh.
imagine what he would be like if you became parents.
i would be leaving.

@magicalmadmadamim now I’m looking back yes. After the first round of failed ivf I was struggling from the crash of the drugs so asked if he’d come on holiday with me but didn’t want to so I went with my mum then whilst I was there he took off to Bucharest for a weekend with his friend without telling me

that is so sad.
I hope you leave this man because if there are cracks like this now, children will turn them into bloody great ravines.