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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friend having double mastectomy help

5 replies

Whynocounselling · 26/10/2025 18:50

They are a biological girl and where we live the hospital has no space for double mastectomy so the NHS are paying for her to travel to a big city , stay overnight in a hotel and be assessed for a double mastectomy. AIBU that this seems a) a crazy use of NHS funds - when other people are on long waiting lists for life threatening illnesses and b) appalled at this barbaric operation?
my mum had a double mastectomy for cancer and it was by no means an easy or pain free op. She still has twinges and no feeling or sensation in both areas.
my friend says she hates her body ( she is on testosterone) and longs to be a boy- but I’m concerned that this won’t help her feel like a boy, but will leave her with scars and funny folds of fat. She says I don’t understand- she’s right I don’t. Surely she should have counselling? This is the first time the trans debate has actually become real and I am astonished at how suddenly gross and appalling it seems. It’s obviously her body etc but surely someone should tell her this will just add to her problems snd won’t make her a boy? Or how can I help her see that it’s a massive operation that’s for life. She has very feminine hands and feet and massive shoulders and already is starting to just look wierd.they are also getting very self obsessed and pretty depressed - which they say is because they are not a boy. I thought I supported peoples rights to be whatever etc, but None of this seems healthy.

OP posts:
Finsburyfancy · 26/10/2025 18:54

You need to back off. This is her choice.

BingBongBish · 26/10/2025 18:57

This thread has everything, doesn't it?

But long story short, keep out of it as I'm sure she'll already have been advised.

ilovesooty · 26/10/2025 19:00

Mind your own business.

Silverbirchleaf · 26/10/2025 19:00

Not a lot you can do. It’s her choice.

I am slightly surprised the NHS are paying out for the accomadation etc, and do believe there is a better use of NHS money though.

I always thought there was counselling before such a big step. Maybe she’s already received this or it’s part of the assessment.

RaininSummer · 26/10/2025 19:33

How sad. Also crazy that the NHS is funding it.

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