Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To cut contact hugely or be grateful for the contact.

5 replies

gteenstay · 26/10/2025 12:07

Finished with alcohol but clarity of f my life is hurting me.

I quit by default. I wasn’t an alcoholic but definitely drank too much . It helped to feed the pain and sadness of a broken marriage and parenting children with disabilities. It serves ts purpose. I had to start on GLP1’s and my body suddenly hated alcohol and cigarettes so I’m ecstatic to be healthier , lighter, wealthier and fitter.

now that the mask has lifted, my emotions, hurt and pain have risen right up to the surface and I’m quite sad and angry .

it’s in relation to my sister. We are only siblings , our parents are dead.
I have come to realise that since my
life turned upside down that I have really taken the crumbs of attention, support and affection from her when available while always being available for her and her family.
I can see not explain it
like they have a superiority on everyone around them. Their actions are always based on what they’ want’ and what ‘suits them’ regardless of whether these decisions are’ the right thing to do’ or in the best interests of all.

it’s probably hard to understand but I’ll try tand explain better. My sisters children’s wishes trump the right thing to do so for example, they will always take
up offers of f activities, treats and holidays but if they don’t want to reciprocate ie have those who invited them to their event to their own activity , they simply don’t have to.

Mmy sister seems ti have wrapped her
oife around her husbands family. She isn’t one for huge socialising but will always go to his family events . He would go regardless anyway but he rarely makes an effort to attend any of mine or our wider relatives.

She doesnt
reciprocate invitations and generosity equally but again takes all offers and her husband who is a generally decent man makes promises of future activities so much to me and my children( to the point of real disappointment when he lets them down) . These invitations are always in front of other eg his family so I think he wants to be seen as being thoughtful and generous but rarely follows through .

I know this is all my fault. I know I’m to blame 100% but it doesn’t take from
the sadness and stark realisation that we do nt what we thought we did to my sister and her family.
The final straw for me was when I sent a voice nmemo te about one of my
kids who had an acute psychotic episode and she never acknowledged it.
what do I do here ? I do t want to cut them
off as I love them but need to reclaim
respect for us as a family .
Talking twith her will result in possible shouting, definite denial and e see defensiveness and her husband involved. I don’t want that. .
Thanks

OP posts:
CanSeeClearlyNowTheRainHasGone · 26/10/2025 12:51

If you cut contact you'll never have the relationship you want.

If you don't cut contact, and suck up what little you're getting back now, then you may end up with the relationship you want.

It's a question of how much it pains you at the moment. And how much it would pain you if that relationship dwindled to zero.

Don't do anything hasty.

It sounds like your sister is keen to have connections and so far have found them in her husband's family. I don't know if that's because previously you were emotionally unavailable or just because they're a welcoming family.

Meantime, have a hug from me - where you find yourself is not a nice place to be.

gteenstay · 26/10/2025 13:49

Thank you . It’s hard for sure

OP posts:
AuntieDolly · 26/10/2025 13:54

Is the alcohol pertinent to her treatment of you? Did she not like your actions when you were drinking, but wanted to maintain a relationship?

gteenstay · 26/10/2025 13:58

No , the drinks had no baring as she would not have known. The reference to that was my inability to see wood from trees

OP posts:
Clychaugog · 26/10/2025 14:09

I find having low expectations of other people means i'm rarely disappointed.
Radical acceptance FTW

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread