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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Do you HAVE to share a table?

15 replies

BananaMilkshake77 · 26/10/2025 11:41

Headed to a pub yesterday with 3 friends and secured an outdoor table. Plan was to have a few drinks and food.
The table was one that could sit 4 with room and 6 at a squish.

Friends went to the bar while I stayed at the table. All outdoor tables were full but plenty of indoor available however the outdoor space is really nice.

A group of 4 approached me and asked if they could join on my table. I explained friends were at the bar.
Then a group of 6 asked me. Another group of 4. In the 10 minutes I'd been asked 6 times (everyone assuming I was alone). I just kept explaining friends were at the bar I wasn't alone.

One girl came back and asked if she could take one or two chairs depending on how many I was with. I said sure take the two chairs and she took them inside where she now was sat.

One of the women who had asked (think she was the fourth person!) was also now sat on a table inside but staring directly at me.
She came storming out aggressively and asked me why she couldn't sit on the table but I'd given two chairs to someone. I explained my friends are coming out they are at the bar but we didn't need all chairs. She shouted that I was rude and that her group could sit there.
I said you have a table what is your problem and she kept shouting I'm rude and she would prefer to be outside. I told her to go away and sitting at the table squishing us is completely different to taking a chair!!! She stormed off and gave me daggers for the rest of the evening.

so.... was I unreasonable?
technically we could have shared the table with a two but I had been asked multiple times by big groups. I just kept giving the same response. Tbh I didn't really think it's bad of me to want to sit comfortably on the table we got first and eat / chat in peace?? Plus there was space inside!

OP posts:
CrocusVase · 26/10/2025 11:44

Not unreasonable.

If the table could only fit 6 at a push, how is a group of 4 expected to share with another group of 4 or 6?

And surely it’s fairly standard for chairs to be moved around if not needed - that’s not at all the same as sharing a table.

Gwenhwyfar · 26/10/2025 11:46

October and all these people fighting to be outside?

BananaMilkshake77 · 26/10/2025 11:47

CrocusVase · 26/10/2025 11:44

Not unreasonable.

If the table could only fit 6 at a push, how is a group of 4 expected to share with another group of 4 or 6?

And surely it’s fairly standard for chairs to be moved around if not needed - that’s not at all the same as sharing a table.

I know! And I didn't interrogate everyone who asked how many were in their group etc. I think she had two people with her.
But yes I was shocked when a group of 6 asked (they were the ones who took the chairs) as even if by myself they'd have took all the room!

OP posts:
BananaMilkshake77 · 26/10/2025 11:47

Gwenhwyfar · 26/10/2025 11:46

October and all these people fighting to be outside?

It's spring where I live , it was a sunny afternoon!

OP posts:
thisishowloween · 26/10/2025 11:48

Gwenhwyfar · 26/10/2025 11:46

October and all these people fighting to be outside?

Not everyone lives in the UK.

Shatteredallthetimelately · 26/10/2025 14:45

Why would a group of 4/6 want to sit at a table with another group of 4 people, once told this they should have left it...

Unless they thought you were lying and were n your own, then were slowly going to spread themselves out push you towards leaving.

ridl14 · 26/10/2025 15:28

BananaMilkshake77 · 26/10/2025 11:47

I know! And I didn't interrogate everyone who asked how many were in their group etc. I think she had two people with her.
But yes I was shocked when a group of 6 asked (they were the ones who took the chairs) as even if by myself they'd have took all the room!

I think some people are just rude! I was once in a quiet pub with a friend, we were in a side room with three sofas in it. Very quiet area and pub for a while when we were in it. Suddenly this big mixed-gender group arrived, surrounded us on the sofas. Really loud and one of the boys walked over the coffee table in the middle. Another boy then asked me and my friend if they bought us drinks, would we leave? ...

I'm making it sound like a Spoons but it was this quiet pub with blankets for customers to use! Obv wouldn't have sat in an area with that much seating if we'd expected it to be busy.

BananaMilkshake77 · 26/10/2025 22:08

Shatteredallthetimelately · 26/10/2025 14:45

Why would a group of 4/6 want to sit at a table with another group of 4 people, once told this they should have left it...

Unless they thought you were lying and were n your own, then were slowly going to spread themselves out push you towards leaving.

Admittedly this lady was in a smaller group but she was the 4th or 5th person to ask! And we still would have been pretty squished up together!

OP posts:
BananaMilkshake77 · 26/10/2025 22:09

ridl14 · 26/10/2025 15:28

I think some people are just rude! I was once in a quiet pub with a friend, we were in a side room with three sofas in it. Very quiet area and pub for a while when we were in it. Suddenly this big mixed-gender group arrived, surrounded us on the sofas. Really loud and one of the boys walked over the coffee table in the middle. Another boy then asked me and my friend if they bought us drinks, would we leave? ...

I'm making it sound like a Spoons but it was this quiet pub with blankets for customers to use! Obv wouldn't have sat in an area with that much seating if we'd expected it to be busy.

I Couldn't believe her shouting at me and calling me rude tbh when she HAD a table! She just wanted ours!

OP posts:
DeedlessIndeed · 26/10/2025 22:11

It simply wouldn't be comfortable to have to squish with a second group. Of course it is completely different to moving an unused chair.

YANBU at all - The other woman sounds unhinged, shouting at a stranger in public.

IFeelLikeChickenTonite · 26/10/2025 22:15

Why were your friends at the bar for so long? I can understand people being annoyed if they thought you were hogging a table all to yourself.

CopperWhite · 26/10/2025 22:20

You must have been on your own at a big table for quite a while if that many people were able to ask you. Maybe next time two of you should go to the bar and two of you should hold the table.

HeddaGarbled · 26/10/2025 22:45

You “bagged” the last outdoor table and held it while the rest of your party were ordering. Some people think that’s fair game and some people think it’s selfish and bad-mannered.

If you’re going to do it, you need to be able to front it out without complaining on social media when people are pissed off with you.

BananaMilkshake77 · 26/10/2025 23:58

we all originally sat down at the table, decided what we wanted then two went to the bar, another the toilet and I guess she ended up going to the bar to help.

it was around 10/15 minutes maybe due to being a busy Saturday (lots of people ordering cocktails etc) I can't help the bar being slow! 😁

OP posts:
BananaMilkshake77 · 26/10/2025 23:59

CopperWhite · 26/10/2025 22:20

You must have been on your own at a big table for quite a while if that many people were able to ask you. Maybe next time two of you should go to the bar and two of you should hold the table.

An event had ended nearby so I think timing wise was bad as everyone was heading elsewhere at a similar time (which happened to be when my friends were at the bar)

OP posts:
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