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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Family member booked onto our trip for a night

4 replies

Creesla · 25/10/2025 21:42

Wonder what you guys think. We are on a city break for three days with our four kids to celebrate our oldest kids 18th. We are due to meet my husbands brother who lives near the city tomorrow, we asked if he would like to join us for some activities. My husband and I planned to go out for a drink tomorrow night - a very rare event. We have had a very tough time lately for a variety of reasons and even 2/3 hours would be lovely together. To be clear, my brother in law is a lovely, kind man and I am so fond of him. Anyway, I was unwell tonight, my husband took the kids out for pizza. He came back frustrated & upset. His brother called him while they were on way back from meal and said he decided to book into our hotel tomorrow night last minute as he has an appointment in the city the following morning - so the day is now stretching into all day/night event. My husband told him he would have appreciated him checking in with him before booking, that we are here on a family weekend and have made plans. His brother told him it was a last minute decision & that he is family too and doesn't get to spend much time with us. I feel very conflicted. I do feel we desperately need family time but would hate to think my brother in law feels isolated or excluded. That said after a long day tomorrow, I know our teens will also want some down time tomorrow evening. AIBU to agree with my husband? What is the kindest approach to take here?

OP posts:
KimHwn · 25/10/2025 21:44

I'd go ahead but tell BIL that the kids need to unwind and chill, and that you and H have scheduled a rare date night.

KimHwn · 25/10/2025 21:44

And also maybe say you could all meet for breakfast in the morning.

PevenseygirlQQ · 25/10/2025 21:45

I think your DH should just be honest with his brother, just tell him to say look we’ve had a rough few months and we really wanted to just have a few hours for ourselves. Any decent brother would understand. BIL can take the kids out for dinner and spend some time with them and you’ll see him in the day

Screenager · 25/10/2025 21:46

He can spend it with your kids.

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