Was this an abusive confrontation?

[alicjeee]

Me and my OH have not been in a good place for months and after tonight we will be going out separate ways but wanted some input on the situation.
We have a DC together who is a toddler.

We went a local diner and I paid for everyone's food I fed DC whilst OH ate his.
Out of the blue he tells me "Stop feeding DC like that as you will get a hunch back like your mum".

I asked him to apologise and he refused.
I think it was very rude of him to say this.

I then say "well at least my parents have always worked unlike yours never working and living of tax payers like me".
That was it.

He began shouting at me, luckily the staff was in the back kitchen and it was empty.
He was very aggressive.

This happens a lot when we are in public, he completely humiliates me.
He has now awareness on how to act in public.

I told him from now on he is no longer welcome on my house and will a have to arrange drop and picks up away from the house.

He has text me he wants petrol money for driving 15 miles despite me buying his food.

I am done with him and I hate him so much.
I was almost in tears in there.

Your poor child to have to listen to that and probably other times too!
DC must have been so frightened and upset.
Absolutely dump that nasty abusive man!
And don’t give him any petrol money either.

Get rid of him. He sounds vile, but I think your response to his first nasty comment was pretty shitty too. How old are you both?

He was rude, you escalated it, he escalated it further.

Don't give him money, you go to CMS, sort out a schedule for contact, and stick to it, no spending time together and no personal conversations. Remain polite and civil and only engage when talking about your dc.

Sounds like the relationship is an absolute shit show that you'll both be better off out of.

Don’t respond to the text at all

escalation a bad idea, just leave him

He said something shitty to you. You said something shitty to him. Neither of you have come out of this interaction covered in glory as you were both saying things to wound rather than communicating like adults. Splitting up is probably the right thing to do.

I never start arguments first, it's always him for no reason.

He has mentioned several times that he is deeply unhappy and wishes to move on, I have no objections as I have been saying this since shortly after DC was born.
I leave him alone when we are not together.
I told him last weekend that I wanted to move on (told him many times now) and he offered to take me clothes shopping and how he wanted to have another child with me.

All he does is moan, complain and critisize me.
I cannot stand being near him as his aura is just so negative and awful.

We aren't in love with each other, and a few people have picked up on the tension and bad vibes between us.

He just dosent want me to move on and meet someone else.

You don’t need his permission to move on.

You're both as bad as eachother.

I don't think either of you knows how to behave in public.

Your poor child.

Just stay away. U have to for ur kids this is unhealthy. Think of yourself. Don’t think of another relationship u need time by urself. Hit him where it hurts in his pocket. He is horrible

Next time he says something nasty and unprovoked - if there is another time - just say something like "and that is why I can't be with you anymore. You really are making my decision easy".

My advice is to take the moral high ground and hold on to it.

It was very honest of you to tell us what you said, because it really makes you look bad.

You both behaved badly.

Toxic all round.