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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Annoying GP appointment

26 replies

thegoat2 · 25/10/2025 16:24

Had a GP appointment yesterday for an embarrassing issue I’ve been putting off for a while (bum related) and I’m really frustrated with how it went.

Appointment was at 1pm and I was still sat waiting at 1:30. There was nobody in before me so not sure why this was. Tried explaining my issue and there was a clear misunderstanding that when I said ‘bottom’ she thought I was talking about my vagina! So for the first five minutes she was considering a totally different body part. After that she seemed a bit short and just kept asking me how long I’ve had the issue which was hard to say because it’s been years. I couldn’t be specific and this seemed to piss her off. I was trying to ask questions and explain further but she just kept cutting me off.

She asked me to book some additional tests but no further info just to ask at reception. I did this and reception didn’t know either so I just said I’d ring back and try and figure it out.

I don’t know if I’m being sensitive because this is an issue I’ve been putting off for ages and I’d hoped for a better experience, or if she was actually just a bit shit. I just wanted to be able to have a clear chat about things but left feeling more confused.

OP posts:
BallerinaRadio · 25/10/2025 16:26

It sounds like maybe you've got your tongue twisted because you're embarrassed about your issue rather than being totally clear and it's just gone downhill from there possibly

Original poster
thegoat2 · 25/10/2025 16:31

I really don’t think I was unclear. I used the word ‘bottom’ when maybe I should have said ‘anus’. But she was asking me how long it’s been going on for and I just said several years. Which is the truth.

The lateness is annoying but not uncommon I suppose.

OP posts:
Catsknowbest · 25/10/2025 16:32

thegoat2 · 25/10/2025 16:24

Had a GP appointment yesterday for an embarrassing issue I’ve been putting off for a while (bum related) and I’m really frustrated with how it went.

Appointment was at 1pm and I was still sat waiting at 1:30. There was nobody in before me so not sure why this was. Tried explaining my issue and there was a clear misunderstanding that when I said ‘bottom’ she thought I was talking about my vagina! So for the first five minutes she was considering a totally different body part. After that she seemed a bit short and just kept asking me how long I’ve had the issue which was hard to say because it’s been years. I couldn’t be specific and this seemed to piss her off. I was trying to ask questions and explain further but she just kept cutting me off.

She asked me to book some additional tests but no further info just to ask at reception. I did this and reception didn’t know either so I just said I’d ring back and try and figure it out.

I don’t know if I’m being sensitive because this is an issue I’ve been putting off for ages and I’d hoped for a better experience, or if she was actually just a bit shit. I just wanted to be able to have a clear chat about things but left feeling more confused.

I don't think you're being sensitive- it sounds like the GP wasn't actually with it...! Shouldn't have been so difficult to ask you specifics and if they had they shouldn't have been confused for first 5 mins....I know they are under pressure but even so this has turned out to be a completely wasted appt

Cailleachnamara · 25/10/2025 16:34

Think there has been a failure to effectively communicate on both your parts. I wouldn't be using the word "bottom" with a doctor just say anus or rectum or whatever actual part the problem is with. Having said this I can't imagine anyone normal thinking bottom meant vagina/vulva, so she is clearly at fault. She is also at fault for not clearly communicating the next steps for you. Could you phone back get someone else to review the appointment notes and clarify this for you?
I think you need to get over your embarrassment though OP, treat is the same as if you had a problem with say your leg. They are all just body parts!

GreenFrogYellow · 25/10/2025 16:35

Yabu to say there was nobody before you so not sure why late, GPs do more than see patients face to face.

Original poster
thegoat2 · 25/10/2025 16:36

Yes that’s how I felt. I had to take time off work and in the end it felt like a waste of time. I was told she wanted me to do xyz test but that was it. I had to ask where I get these tests from, where do I take them back to. She just wasn’t warm or informative in any way.

OP posts:
LIZS · 25/10/2025 16:38

If you are unsure, do you have access to nhs app to see the notes as to next steps? If needs be can you email your request for the tests rather than ring, to avoid further awkwardness.

Original poster
thegoat2 · 25/10/2025 16:39

LIZS · 25/10/2025 16:38

If you are unsure, do you have access to nhs app to see the notes as to next steps? If needs be can you email your request for the tests rather than ring, to avoid further awkwardness.

No I don’t but that’s a really good idea, I can look into it. One of the tests was a blood test with a nurse so maybe they can advise too.

OP posts:
NattyRedFinch · 25/10/2025 16:41

Anyone over the age of 2 who speaks English knows what a bottom is, so a GP definitely should. She sounds useless. Hope you get sorted x

youalright · 25/10/2025 16:41

I don't think you can overly blame gps for lateness they could of been doing telephone appointments. Signing prescriptions, death certificates, talking to social services, a consultant, a pharmacist or a million other things that may have over run. She should of understood bottom but wasnt it obvious quite quickly she was talking about your vagina didn't you correct her and re explain. I think the problem was to you it was this massive thing to her its an everyday thing that could of been dealt with quite quickly but 5 minutes got wasted. Or she might just be horrible some drs are.

youalright · 25/10/2025 16:45

Cailleachnamara · 25/10/2025 16:34

Think there has been a failure to effectively communicate on both your parts. I wouldn't be using the word "bottom" with a doctor just say anus or rectum or whatever actual part the problem is with. Having said this I can't imagine anyone normal thinking bottom meant vagina/vulva, so she is clearly at fault. She is also at fault for not clearly communicating the next steps for you. Could you phone back get someone else to review the appointment notes and clarify this for you?
I think you need to get over your embarrassment though OP, treat is the same as if you had a problem with say your leg. They are all just body parts!

Patients should be able to use whatever language they feel comfortable with i used bum hole when I was talking to the dr. Its up to the dr to clarify what the patient means if they dont understand. One time I had a lump in my breast and I said to my gp chest and he said straight away do you mean breast or your actual chest

MsTamborineMan · 25/10/2025 17:02

What did you say when asked how long? Years is quite vague. Are we talking 2-3, 5, 10? 50? That is quite frustrating when you ask how long and someone just says several years. You must have some idea

How did she misinterpret bottom? Were you really talking for 5 minutes and she gave no indication that she was confused re bottom/vagina?

When you got to reception why didn't you ask them to find out?

It does seem a bit ineffective communication on both parts, and a bit wishy washy. It's not a wasted appointment if your having further tests, so I would have the tests she's asked and book another appointment.

cinnamonbunlover · 25/10/2025 17:04

YANBU. Ring and ask for another appointment or make a complaints. The practice manager said the people who stamp their feet and shout the loudest get the best care. Even though it shouldn’t be like this, it is.

You were really clear. Was there a language barrier?

cinnamonbunlover · 25/10/2025 17:06

It’s not just any body part though. It’s an intimate area. I’d be happy showing anyone my leg. But not my bottom!!

Original poster
thegoat2 · 25/10/2025 17:19

cinnamonbunlover · 25/10/2025 17:04

YANBU. Ring and ask for another appointment or make a complaints. The practice manager said the people who stamp their feet and shout the loudest get the best care. Even though it shouldn’t be like this, it is.

You were really clear. Was there a language barrier?

Yes there was a bit.

OP posts:
SleepySquirrel52 · 25/10/2025 17:59

Was this a routine Dr appointment or urgent on the day?

At the surgery I'm at many people insist that it's an urgent problem must be seen that day - so get given one of the few urgent same day slots that are reserved for people suddenly feeling quite unwell - i.e. ? hospital admission, do they need antibiotics today, could this be a cancer sign. But when that person sits down and essentially says "this has been going on for several years its not changed I'm just wondering if anything can be done" - it's frustrating.

Original poster
thegoat2 · 25/10/2025 18:06

SleepySquirrel52 · 25/10/2025 17:59

Was this a routine Dr appointment or urgent on the day?

At the surgery I'm at many people insist that it's an urgent problem must be seen that day - so get given one of the few urgent same day slots that are reserved for people suddenly feeling quite unwell - i.e. ? hospital admission, do they need antibiotics today, could this be a cancer sign. But when that person sits down and essentially says "this has been going on for several years its not changed I'm just wondering if anything can be done" - it's frustrating.

No it wasn’t an urgent same day appointment. It was pre booked 2 weeks in advance which gave me plenty of time to think about what I was going to say and what questions I needed to ask.

OP posts:
SleepySquirrel52 · 25/10/2025 18:20

Id book in/get the blood test recommended - then book a follow-up appointment for review with the results.

If you felt you didn't get your point across/missed anything out write down a few bullet points/questions you'd like answered when you go back.

Could be there'd just had a difficult consultation or maybe a bad home visit that threw the Dr off, or yes a not very good Dr/something else

Cailleachnamara · 25/10/2025 18:22

youalright · 25/10/2025 16:45

Patients should be able to use whatever language they feel comfortable with i used bum hole when I was talking to the dr. Its up to the dr to clarify what the patient means if they dont understand. One time I had a lump in my breast and I said to my gp chest and he said straight away do you mean breast or your actual chest

Show quote history

Up to you but if a body part has a proper name why would you not use it and avoid all possible confusion? I can't imagine saying bum hole to a doctor as to me that would be seriously embarrassing and inappropriate in a medical setting. What's wrong with anus and if you mean breast why on earth would you say chest which is a different body part 🤔? No wonder doctors get confused. Why do you think it's up to them to guess what you mean when you know the actual word for the body part concerned but choose to not use it?

Smittenkitchen · 25/10/2025 18:47

She is used to patients using various euphemisms for body parts and bodily processes. People do sometimes say "front bottom" for vulva/vagina and I'm sure sometimes say it to doctors. But she may have given you a bad experience in other ways and should have clarified with you.

cinnamonbunlover · 25/10/2025 18:50

I’ve used chat gpt to write a summary of symptoms for a gp appointment. Include what you expect and what you hope for out of the appointments. Do you have any suspiscions what you think it might be. When did symptoms first start and when they got worse. What problems it causes. What you are worried about. What you have tried already.

youalright · 25/10/2025 19:24

Cailleachnamara · 25/10/2025 18:22

Up to you but if a body part has a proper name why would you not use it and avoid all possible confusion? I can't imagine saying bum hole to a doctor as to me that would be seriously embarrassing and inappropriate in a medical setting. What's wrong with anus and if you mean breast why on earth would you say chest which is a different body part 🤔? No wonder doctors get confused. Why do you think it's up to them to guess what you mean when you know the actual word for the body part concerned but choose to not use it?

Show quote history

Because if I'm in an appointment especially an embarrassing one I'd rather use words I'm comfortable with and actually use rather then words that I've never used in my life like anus and feel embarrassed saying it. Breast I have got comfortable with over the years but I was about 20 and it was my first breast exam. On both occasions it was not an issue as I've been lucky that I don't have stupid drs. If you google anything to do with drs appointments it will always tell you to use language your comfortable with and you lessen the risk of getting the body part wrong as im not even 100% sure what an anus is, is it your actual bum hole or is it more internal and don't even get me started on getting all the correct names of different areas of the fanny.

FuzzyWolf · 25/10/2025 19:27

I can think of lots of reasons for the 30 min delay (perhaps the GP was doing phone consultations or had worked in the morning and the appointments overran so they had a late lunch). However, no excuse for not understanding what a bottom is or making you feel like that.

Can you arrange the tests and a follow up appointment with a different GP?

Toydrum · 25/10/2025 19:33

thegoat2 · 25/10/2025 17:19

Yes there was a bit.

Show quote history

Try and make another appointment OP, with a different Doctor. Prepare what you want to say before you go and you’ll be in a better position to take control of the conversation. It’s disappointing to come out of an appointment you’ve been dreading to end up so confused.

Cailleachnamara · 25/10/2025 20:04

youalright · 25/10/2025 19:24

Because if I'm in an appointment especially an embarrassing one I'd rather use words I'm comfortable with and actually use rather then words that I've never used in my life like anus and feel embarrassed saying it. Breast I have got comfortable with over the years but I was about 20 and it was my first breast exam. On both occasions it was not an issue as I've been lucky that I don't have stupid drs. If you google anything to do with drs appointments it will always tell you to use language your comfortable with and you lessen the risk of getting the body part wrong as im not even 100% sure what an anus is, is it your actual bum hole or is it more internal and don't even get me started on getting all the correct names of different areas of the fanny.

Show quote history

You don't know the actual names of the parts of your own genitalia? 😯

If you are happy to go though life this ignorant of basic biological facts good luck to you. Personally I'd get off Mumsnet and onto Google for an hour.

The anus FYI is the "bum hole" the rectum is the passage that leads into the body from it.