To feel offended by this email from the school?

[PupilpremiumWTF]

I think I'll just post the email without any elaboration for now, and see what people think, this is copied and pasted directly, with identifying info changed:

Dear Mrs X,

It’s great to be able to invite you to a special evening for parents of our Pupil Premium students in Years 7, 8 and 9 on Thursday 20th November 2025.

We’ll be starting with a light buffet tea from 5:00 pm, giving you the chance to chat informally with staff and other parents before the evenings presentations begin.

At 5:30 pm, I’ll give a short overview of how we use Pupil Premium funding here at school to support students’ learning and wellbeing, and to help every child make the best possible progress.

From 6.00 pm to 7:00 pm, we will to be joined by Elevate Education, who will deliver a practical, engaging seminar designed to help parents support learning at home.

Topics covered will include:

- Time Management – helping your child to plan effectively and avoid last-minute stress.

• - Study Support – understanding what effective study looks like and how to make it stick.
• - Motivation – discovering what really drives student motivation and how to nurture it.
• - Parent E-book Access – every parent attending will receive a free e-book full of strategies and guidance.

This is a brilliant opportunity to pick up some useful ideas and find out more about how we’re supporting your child’s progress in school.

I really hope you’ll be able to join us for what promises to be an enjoyable and informative evening.

Please let us know if you can attend by completing the form on EduLink.

Kind regards,

Mr Y
Senior Assistant Headteacher

Statistically that’s correct.

And as a PP child, my parents needed this; I wish they’d been offered it. And they absolutely would have been swayed by free food.

There’s probably a lot of people who would be comforted by it being limited to other people in the same boat, too, as everyone there is getting PP…

Yes, on an individual level they shouldn't assume.

On a group level, and it sounds as if this was an invitation to all parents whose children get PP, it is evidence based, not an assumption.

You're reasonable to feel how you feel. I would recommend attending at least the first part, if only to get your voice heard. You can always leave before the ~engaging seminar~. I've done that before.

I'm on my 4th kid in GCSEs, 3 different secondaries, one of them I was a governor at and all of them have done an event for all parents on time management, study support, motivation, and all this closer to GCSE & all of them had focused event earlier on at least one group, whether it was PP or SEND, to help close the gaps and get feedback specifically from those parents because when you had the full school - as others said - there are groups that push there way though and eat up a lot of staff time leading leading to others groups that are clearly not being heard and fall through the cracks.

They could have worded some of it better to focus more on PP parents being heard rather than what comes across a bit as a top down onto parents approach as many school emails do - I find they often feel more like they're written for other education professionals/OFSTED than parents so I can see why it left a bad taste.

I totally understand why you’re offended. I might get roasted for this but it’s the assumption that ‘poor kids’ parents need help with their kids ‘time management’. I also read ‘let’s help the ‘poors’ be better’ between the lines of this email.

Of course needing pupil premium doesn’t mean you need help with any of those things so it’s at best unnecessary and at worst, offensive.

I got it immediately OP. It’s probably a box ticking thing from them like: did you teach the ‘poors’ how to be better. Okay. Tick.

It’s the assumption that you need guidance as a recipient of PP. The reality is anyone can need guidance like that. So it doesn’t need to be a PP evening.

It has actually annoyed me that email 🙈

Surely this is a case of budget and good use of resources. The more people there will mean dilution of the target audience.

If you don’t need this support just don’t go and leave the resources for those that will benefit. I am not sure why you think it is a disgrace to be a parent of premium pupil child.

Absolutely - but that’s where poverty and special needs aren’t the same. That’s absolutely not saying one is easier: they aren’t. But they are different, especially in how they are perceived.

I have certainly been judged for parenting in a way that meets DDs special needs, but doesn't conform to standard parenting advice.

Because most people are uninformed about therapeutic parenting for children with cPTSD and attachment issues. It is great to.meet parents who have learnt similar techniques (or simply have to parent differently to the norm) to be the parent their child needs.

And who have had to constantly advocate for their child, learn about their legal entitlements, and fight for the support their child needs, while also holding down a job and paying the bills every month, plus being calm and empathic to your child even when they are attacking you.

And then be judged and criticised for your child's behaviour by ignorant people who think you can.punish a child out of a trauma response, and you are being 'too soft' and letting them 'get away with it' when you are following professional advice (and 24/7 knowledge of your child) in the way you are responding.

Sure, there's nothing but understanding for the parents of children with SN, no judgement at all...

So how do you expect schools to use their funds to target support at the groups to which they are supposed to target support? The whole point of PP is to do exactly that. How are we to narrow the attainment gap between poorer students and wealthier students if we are not allowed to identify them and give that support specifically to them? How is the attainment of disadvantaged students going to catch up at all with the attainment of more privileged students if the support is offered to all, and is most likely monopolised by the middle class, wealthier families?

I don't think you have read enough or thought this through properly. What is more important? Helping groups of students who, statistically, are at a disadvantage, or pretending those disadvantages don't exist in order to avoid offending parents in that group who don't need the help (and can say 'no thanks' without anyone else ever even knowing it was offered to them)?

Why don't people understand that offering it to all would not work? The invitation was to Year 7, 8 & 9? In my (not particularly big) school, that would be 480 students. So, up to a maximum of nearly 1000 parents. That would be one hell of a buffet tea. Not all would come. I know exactly which types of parents would come though. The same ones who come to everything.

@Elfie111 do you understand that PP funding has to be targeted towards PP families?

Do people get offended if a school newsletter refers to HAF sessions in school holidays and makes reference to the fact that these relates to families in receipt of FSM (ie many PP families). Are you telling FSM families that they don’t know how to keep their DC fed and engaged during school holidays. And there will be families that will be annoyed their children aren’t entitled to these sessions, why aren’t they offered to everyone?

Blimey!
I’m sure you are not offended by the free money and benefits so why by the offer if extra support? Mind blown.

@Baital when I say ‘special needs and poverty aren’t the same’ that’s not me saying ‘poverty is hard and special needs are easy’

Generally, it’s harder to hide special needs (I know, not all but a lot.) Poverty can be hidden to a certain extent and people often want to hide it.

Literally nothing to be offended about.

But it probably isn't practical to offer it to everyone. Would probably need multiple evenings to fit everyone in for example.

I get why you feel as you do, but things like pupil premium are all about averages, not assuming anything about an individual family. If there is research that parental engagement is a factor on certain groups doing less well then they target parental engagement activities on those groups because there isn't money / time to do it for everyone. It's a blunt tool and school will know not everyone in the group really needs it.

I used to love living in quite a 'deprived' area when I had my first child because there were so many free 'language and play','baby rhymes' etc groups on to try and target those who needed more support with child development. Of course, they ended up being mostly attended by those who probably didn't need that support as much. But I just appreciated the offer and didn't take it as a judgment on me personally. I really missed all the free activities when I had my second living in a more affluent area!

It IS what they’re suggesting because it’s true. Statistically

And i am challenging your claim that children with SN (and their parents) are met with understanding and not judgement.

If their SN are very visible, maybe people are understanding (though equally they may show disgust, be patronising etc).

If an apparently 'normal' child is 'behaving badly' then they and their parents will absolutely be judged and criticised.

And there will be any number of people saying that neuro-developmental diagnoses are just an excuse for bad parenting and bad behaviour.

It’s not based on assumptions, it’s based on research. The OP may not need the support, that’s fine. But many PP families do.
What do you suggest the school do?

So many posters not looking at the research and the statistics.

My son wasn't a Pupil Premium pupil and I got invited to an evening at school with exactly the same 'here's how parents can help their child succeed' itinerary. Even down to nurturing motivation (the ideas were ridiculous, the amount of home study they said my son should be doing was also ridiculous, we found the whole evening ridiculous). Is there another event for non-PP parents, and the reason they're on different nights is because of the section of your itinerary that is about the Premium?

Sounds lovely to me. The school are making an effort to support their students & famlies. Well done them.

I wouldn't be offended.

Presumably you got this email as a parent who qualifies for certain benefits, meaning your child does as well. You also had to declare this status to the school. It's not something forced upon you.
Schools get additional funding to put more things in place for those Pupil Premium children, and have to show to the "powers that be" how it was spent.

Speaking as someone who has worked in schools for almost 20 years, the parents of PP children are, historically, a "hard to reach" group. If a free feed encourages them to participate, then great! Who is is going to hurt? No one. Who might it benefit? Your child.

Yes this is so true! It's definitely a box ticking exercise but unfortunately stereotypes exist and the easy option is parenting. Same in SEND - whatever socio economic group you're in it's usually seen as a parenting problem if you have a child with challenging behaviours -lots of parenting courses to tick a box. And these assumptions do make you feel pretty rubbish about yourself when you do everything you can for your children. You lose all your confidence when you are viewed as the problem. It is a shame that they've chosen to do it this way even if it was never their intention as it just reinforces the 'they must think I'm a crap parent' stuff. I don't think people really understand until they experience this stuff.

@Bloozie it’s more than likely being funded by pupil premium funding and therefore has to target pupil premium families

Schools would love to offer many initiatives to families but funding is so tight. Interesting an earlier poster referenced courses her child’s private school offered to all parents. Therecis a reason they were able to offer it to all parents ie money

I think it's sad that you are offended by this. Schools can't do right for doing wrong these days!
No doubt there will be a thread another day with a parent whose child is PP complaining because their child's school has used PP funding for all pupils not just those who are PP. (Although I don't think schools can, actually but you get my drift).

Stop being offended and go along to see what it's like. If it is delivered in a patronising way then speak up but until then why not just view it as a school trying to reach out and support/engage parents?

What is offensive about targeted support? Schools can't do anything right can they?
If you don't think you need the support or want any information about how they spend the money, don't go.

There is a significant overlap between PP and SEND as a matter of fact.