To feel offended by this email from the school?

[PupilpremiumWTF]

I think I'll just post the email without any elaboration for now, and see what people think, this is copied and pasted directly, with identifying info changed:

Dear Mrs X,

It’s great to be able to invite you to a special evening for parents of our Pupil Premium students in Years 7, 8 and 9 on Thursday 20th November 2025.

We’ll be starting with a light buffet tea from 5:00 pm, giving you the chance to chat informally with staff and other parents before the evenings presentations begin.

At 5:30 pm, I’ll give a short overview of how we use Pupil Premium funding here at school to support students’ learning and wellbeing, and to help every child make the best possible progress.

From 6.00 pm to 7:00 pm, we will to be joined by Elevate Education, who will deliver a practical, engaging seminar designed to help parents support learning at home.

Topics covered will include:

- Time Management – helping your child to plan effectively and avoid last-minute stress.

• - Study Support – understanding what effective study looks like and how to make it stick.
• - Motivation – discovering what really drives student motivation and how to nurture it.
• - Parent E-book Access – every parent attending will receive a free e-book full of strategies and guidance.

This is a brilliant opportunity to pick up some useful ideas and find out more about how we’re supporting your child’s progress in school.

I really hope you’ll be able to join us for what promises to be an enjoyable and informative evening.

Please let us know if you can attend by completing the form on EduLink.

Kind regards,

Mr Y
Senior Assistant Headteacher

@PupilpremiumWTF I didn’t know what the PP bit was all about but I didn’t care for the patronising tone of the email - no I don’t need help, even if I did its tone would send me rapidly in the opposite direction. On the other hand, you might glean some useful info/good connections so maybe go anyway (you could politely feedback that you ‘nearly didn’t attend as the email came across a bit xyz and I felt like it was drawing attention to PP’ - they may genuinely not have realised in which case you might actually help them improve). But I get where you’re coming from and understand you may just not want to get involved.

Yes, this is my experience. Not low enough income for means tested benefits (happily), but low enough for some schemes e.g. warmer homes.

Masters degree and well paid career. Then adopted DD and her needs were my priority, rather than my career.

I am hugely over qualified for my job, but it pays the bills and gave me the time and headspace for DDs needs. Now I am.in my 50s, DD heading into independence as a confident, healthy young woman, and it is difficult to restart my career.

That's fine with me (well, some of the assumptions that make it difficult to restart my career aren't! But I don't feel diminished as a person for not earning more, I am proud of DD and have loved being her mum. I have gained lots more than i gave up).

So no, I don't feel patronised because we statistically fall into various groups where we are outliers.

In other groups we are pretty typical.

Edited for sp

@Pouritonme I assume this is just one initiative the school are spending their pupil premium funding on. And chances are parents like OP won’t attend but if it can help some children close the attainment gap then surely it’s a good thing.

Many children are being failed. I posted some statistics earlier on Primary schools which show this.

Just looked at a local Secondary school, above local authority average for percentage of ‘all’ pupils getting grade 5/4 in English and Maths. Break down the data for pupil premium children and the figures are stark. 73% of non-disadvantaged pupils getting grade 4 or above in English and Maths in the local authority. Only 30% pupil premium children get grade 4 and above in English and Maths in this school.

I have no issue with the money being spent (as it is intend) to support the PP pupils. A special evening for parents with a buffet and presentation singles them out and is likely (as seen in the op) to offend and actually alienate parents.

Then hold a seminar and invite the young people to go if they feel they want some support.

Saying statistically your child might need some extra support is very different to saying your economic situation means that you must need to be taught how to be a good parent is quite another.

Yes , everyone makes a special effort to find something they can be offended by . Britain has gone mad .

I can see this might be a difficult sell to the parents. But, I also think it is harder to support learning when finances are very limited, so I understand why extra help might be given. The advice about accessing ebooks definitely seems relevant.

The reality is that he finances of the family have a massive effect of dc's success at school so I understand where this is coming from.

I wish my sons school offered a buffet when I spent 2.5 hrs at his awards ceremony 😪

I think that you are looking at this the wrong way. The school would probably like to offer this to everyone. But the extra funding provided for PP children means they can afford to offer it to them.

They can’t use the funding for everyone it has to be for this group and statistically some PP families will need extra advice more than non PP families.

As a veteran parent who has adult DC and a teen, I would now take any and all support offered every time.

I think it sounds a very professional welcoming letter tbh , it’s you OP who have chosen to be offended by it . You should go along and show the school you are a responsible parent and work with them to improve the ‘ lot ‘ of your child . I think it sends the wrong message to your child that you aren’t bothered to go to his / her parents evening .

It’s amazing how many people on MN mourn the loss of Sure Start which was meant to help disadvantaged parents, and provide support for their parenting and close the attainment gap. However, now schools are having to pick up the pieces these posters are now saying schools are being patronising.

I would never think I was a perfect parent and couldn’t learn something that might help my DC.

Let’s face it MN exists for parents to get advice

I’m certainly not in the habit of feeling offended. I wouldn’t feel offended with this email but I would feel uncomfortable, embarrassed and stereotyped and I think shorthand for that can be ‘offended.’

That isn’t looking for a feeling, feelings tend to arrive. We can consider them and process them and put them in perspective but we generally aren’t choosing to feel them, we just do.

Because drawing attention to pupils in receipt of pupil premium and singling out the parents can be incredibly divisive. My school has 53% in receipt of PP and a lot of time and effort is spent to ensure that they achieve the best possible outsomes.

My child was in receipt of free school meals for a time after redundancy, very few FSM pupils in the school 2%.........teacher asked one day "put your hand up if you get FSM" dc was embarassed and bullied by some for a while.

Haven’t RTFT but it’s because statistically PP children are more likely to fail GCSEs and not go onto level 3 study. They’re trying to help.

If you opened this up to everyone, the sharp-elbowed middle classes would dominate, and have their hands permanently up, asking for tips to get their primary-aged children into Oxbridge.

It’s years 7-9, so ages 11-14. Generally at those ages children are sensitive about household income and don’t want to be seen as ‘poor.’

Oops missed the age range, sorry.

And there are other reasons than poverty for PP

I do think a lot of people who have always been reasonably comfortably off have no understanding at all of how demeaning it can feel to be on the receiving end of charity.

There are but being on FSM now or in the last six years is by far the most common.

Should schools not hold session for families with children with SEND?

During the school holidays there are initiatives for families in receipt of FSM to help with food and cheap activities (HAF programme). Should these not exist either as identifies you as being in receipt of FSM?

DD was included on HAF because she has an EHCP. I occasionally went to coffee mornings at school for parents of pupils with an EHCP. How shocking that we had to identify ourselves - and our children - as having special needs to the extent they had an EHCP 😮 how humiliating...

This. SOO this.

Yes. I posted earlier to say that my child would be a PP child as my husband is in the armed forces. We are both have degrees and earn well.